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It's not exactly bullshitting but I was embarrassingly found out once. I told all my mates I was moving to Spain to become a bullfighter. They even threw me a leaving party. Anyway I spent 4 weeks travelling about, a week of which was on a few bull breeding ranches, getting thrown about by calves. Realised my Spanish wasn't good enough and I couldn't be arsed working in English bars to earn enough to live on. So I caught a plain to Amsterdam and blew the last of my money on the usual entertainment there and flew home. Told my mum not to tell any of my mates I was home for a couple

Iknow they do a good useful job , and are great help to the doctor . But fook me , they should know what there job is , to day i wanted to speak to a male doctor. i told the woman who he was, i wanted the phone call with him , she said be after 1pm before he get back to me, said no prob. She said what was it you wanted to ask him, i said i tell him that 1pm, she said we have to know what the call is for, i said again i tell him that 1pm . she said is it mental health, physical, i said pick what ever one you want lol , she put the phone down, as far as im concerned it be private betwee

Here's a bit of bullshit from me ; Some years ago, my late daughter was living and working in Australia. She 'phoned me and her mum to tell us they were having a "works do", and Joe Cocker would be singing a few songs and mingling and having a drink with the guests. I said to her " make sure you tell Joe who you are " ! She asked why, and I said Joe and I are mates from a long time back. She was understandably sceptical, so I said tell Joe I was a mate of his back when he was a gas fitter in Sheffield. Anyhow, Joe came to her table and she said her dad was an old mate

now i liked Len French...( ginger )....but by god could he tell some whoppers ....most of the dog lads that met him will tell you the same....

My wife and daughter Andrea And Natalies husband have been giving me shit all night Johnny Nats husband says she would not want me to give it all up and to wait A few months and if I feel the same then Then sell up So in the interest of peace and quiet Iv got to wait a few months So I'm going to put it away for now lads I'm so sorry for all the hassle Atvbjimmy ???

Sounds perfect, put a bull terrier on her 2 bring the size up there be dogs bellied up left right and centre ? pups will be absolute damiens

Many years ago I worked with a bloke and he was telling us about a funeral he'd been to where a bloke had fell in a crusher and all that was left to bury was his head. He said when the pall bearers picked up the coffin the mourners could hear the head rolling about in the coffin. Cheers, D.

Every thing in your life right now Jimmy is to raw , and has been said put it in the cupboard for as long as it takes , there will come a time when you feel you need to get out again take my mate lov ya ?

Right so basically I was on a course with the army maybe 10 years ago , as with most promotion things you kind of know the lads from your peer group etc. we all knew each other relatively well , and we had to do an ice breaker as a brief intro to who you are , background etc . And at the end , you can ask questions as in , what’s your ultimate goal in life ? What’s your proudest achievement? how many chicks you nailed? So anyway a lad from Wolverhampton stands up does his and we’re launching questions “What’s your favourite t v show ? “ Peaky blinders probably

Its getting tougher year by year just glad i walked the walk before this stupid ban and all the social media shite.

they get no second chances I have had dogs that could do a shift terriers mainly only one lurcher show aggressive behaviour towards kids but there gone I don't care how good they are they are culled because in my eyes no dog is worth scarring a kid for

An old lad In the little town I grew up in is iconic for his sporting achievements. football , tennis , rugby , boxing , numerous athletics disciplines, completed and mastered them all . Gold . in our little pub we have a sports bar type annex for watching football in and pride of place is a framed photo of our hero coming third in the 100m sprint at Hawick common riding in the late 70s . two of his best tales are one day we were asking him if there was wasn’t a sport he couldn’t do or excel at . “Arthur lad , “ he says to my pal “I could never get away with table tenni

Akitas don't mind a good mouthful of human flesh.... I don't trust them fuckers?

That’s not my experience. All the birds we shoot and that are shot on estates local to me are processed by game dealers. A lot of them are exported to the continent. Any that are too badly damaged have the good meat taken off and put into game meat blocks which get exported to the French and Belgians and turned into Pates and terrines. Early season shooting sometimes in warm weather , birds which do not get chilled quickly enough go green in the guts and get rejected, these may well end up in a pit , also birds which are just breasted out or Supreamed have their carcasses dump

To put a slightly different spin on things my old man is a very selfish self centred prick who will bullshit anything to get what he wants in life and manipulate things his way, as a consequence I grew up with his lies and can smell it from a mile away and get quite offended by it, I consider it an insult to your intelligence that someone can sit in front of you and attempt to fool you with there shite, I tell my misses and kids I can always tell when my old man is lying, because he,s still breathing and as a result I can be a bit brutal in the things I say to people as truth is often more har

Right lets have the bullshit story's you have been told by someone with a straight face..they must think that we are either super gullible or they are completely crazy ?.. There was a guy in the coal opencast in s.wales.at break times he told the boy's in the cabin.both these story's... I was driving up the m4 Saturday afternoon pulling a horse box with the 2 horses in doing 60mph. i just passed a sign 5 miles to the services.then all of a sudden a loud bang.so I pulled into the services to check the horses.i pulled the back door down and both horses were soaking In sweat and loads o

A Lancashire man and a cockney Londoner were seated next to an Yorkshire man on an overseas flight. After a few gins n vodkas n jack daniel's, the men began discussing their home lives. Lancashire man... "Last night I made love to my wife four times," the Lancashire man bragged," and this morning she made me delicious crepes and she told me how much she adored me...." Cockney Londoner... "Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the cockney Londoner responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man." Yorkshire man... W

ye see i like fellas like that....i like to get them across for more of a chat......i do it all the time on the door...theres not many weeks go by when you dont get one of them chaps talking shit to ya......the best thing for me is my work college who ive worked with for years and is a good friend....is a bit of a loaner type..hes a good doorman but not many people get on with him.....ask most most of nottingham and hes about the most hated doorman there is.....but the best bit is he cant handle folk like that...he gets embarresed so easily ......so of course what am i supposed to do.........

First day of the last lockdown in Caerphilly, they had TV crews filming the police cordens on all the major rds in and out...... Word spreads on face ache and most folks listened and stayed in(for about 2 days) ... I don't know of anyone who has been stopped and actually fined? You can travel anywhere around the UK for work? But not allowed for anything else??? Load of bollocks ?

The gamekeeper on our estate has been in the special forces, shot for England, fought for England, been a professional golfer, stone Mason and a locksmith. The Olympics he said he shot at was before he was born the f***ing nobhead ?

This one fella on a forum I frequent always goes on about how Tyson fury is the Greatest heavyweight boxer there is , even reckons he would of beat Ali ..

One of my pet hates ,I never met a doctor's receptionist that wasn't a horrible twat .

I don’t profess to know much about boxing, but I do know that the old adage that ‘styles make fights’ is true.., and only a total buffoon would try and predict the outcome of AJ v Fury based on their bouts with Klitschko. Even if you weigh up both boxer’s records, and which AJ’s clearly shows he’s consistently fought higher calibre opponents, I don’t think you can predict a winner. We’ll only know when they get in a ring together, which will be 2021..., unless Fury tests positive again, or opts for the easier option and less money like he did when he ducked Joshua last year.

I certainly have not noticed any, I stayed home for 6 weeks in March when it first blew up to carry out my own risk assessment, at the end of the 6 weeks I decided it was a load of shite and went back outside, have travelled all round the south west of the uk met loads of people crossed from tier to tier and really don’t see any difference apart from the fact I can’t stop on any of my travels for a beer which I enjoy from time to time and as time goes on all I see is it being used as a way of controlling the masses and removing certain things from our lives that the powers that be would rather

Imagine the amount of fuckwits that buy these dogs after watching them on utube. Start the winding up, sorry ‘agitation’ ? from an early age, then get bored before seeing it through properly.........meanwhile the dog is loaded & ready to fire!

Fella just round the corner used to bullshit a lot proper bullshit though, one was when his dad was younger he had a fight badly hurt another man and his fists were classed as “lethal weapons” and when he went into public had to have chains to each wrist ? f***ing Dinlo child

The ex brother in law of @Saltmoon Must have been nearly 10 years ago now. The lad had a young dog on, told us he'd been out and had 2 deer with the dog and sent us the photos to prove it. Well he sent us a photo of 2 whitetail bucks hanging in a random shed. When asked who's shed he made up a friend to go with it ?

My niece got hooked up with a lad who raced greyhounds and went along with him nim one night,I asked her how she got on,and she told me a man said you’re new here ain’t you,last year I had the fastest dog here it was winning the race stopped and had 3 puppies got up and won the race and the puppies were 2nd,3rd, and 4th she then says I think he is winding me up,wf

Got asked by a farmer to look for a goose killer tonight .Saw 3 bagged two so hopefully got the offender .The one that got away was a tiny vixen ,not the description farmers wife gave me .Big light coloured fox she described and this is maybe him .Certainly one of the heaviest foxes I’ve had for a while . The other was run of the mill standard fox Puts me on 143 ,get in .

Think of the fuss changing your location mate .Joking aside ,think hard about it mate as cost you triple to set up again and as Sean said it ain’t eating nothing in the cupboard .Please just think about it mate .

... How is punch power measured ? Do they go to one of them amusement arcade punch bag machines and see who gets the highest score ?

I once pre ban hunted the same roe buck for about four months, from harvest until sometime in December, ran it a few times in different spots and it very fairly got away through shear speed, agility and running brain, the thing was awesome to watch, eventually it lost the race, and to be fair the dog really deserved it, and it was a kind of happy / sad moment. I’ve still got his head.

I have run them, we've caught them before. Put it this way it wasn't with the one dog, if you had seen the size of the dogs as well you would appreciate how strong the animals are. Folk who claim to walk the fields with a single dog pulling red stags are telling tales if you ask me. If someone wants to prove otherwise I'd be happy to say I'm wrong.

Glad it’s not just me, my entire family got moved to another surgery after I made the receptionist cry, for trying to stick her oar into something that had nothing to do with her, ?

When beer makes you immortal ???

I have a mother in a home an 8o year old dad and two sisters they are all gagging to take it and I am not, so I,ll just stay quiet and let them do what they think is right, your family dynamics may be totally different to mine but if you talk them out of it and something happens you will be blamed same as if you push them to have it and they take a bad turn, if they are of sound mind and want to go ahead then that’s there choice but if they have doubts don’t let them be bullied ??

The jocks and taffs stuck it to Boris today in a well timed pincer movement. This morning, all four countries of the UK agreed on a unified position on the Xmas break. Then when Boris was announcing this at P.M.Q.'s, the Scots and Welsh moved the goal posts, and went on tv with different advice ! Now, I agree with the cut and thrust of political manoeuvring normally, but I think it's wrong to try and score political points during a world wide pandemic. Im sure the Tory's would do the same, given the chance, but it's destroying what very little faith I have in ANY politician

FairPlay for walking 10 miles in wellies maybe it’s time to introduce him to Gortex mate, you could get him a nice pair of berg house, skarpa or north face in that price range, I wear gortex boots and gaiters keeps me warm and dry upto my knees ??

I am not into hunting but regard it as a long standing country activity which should be kept BUT as said the hunt brings on it's own trouble because of the total disregard for other peoples land, borders, fences and various live stocks which have pissed off quite a few farmers near me. I am not making a sweeping statement as it doesn't apply to all hunts but the members of hunts need to learn manners and the meaning of private property. Phil

Har har. You don't need to read it.

What else do you hunt with dogs ? Fck em, it's heading that way here. Too many people (aka fckwits) on the planet.

Many years ago a good pal of mine bred a litter of non-ped whippets, we kept the whole litter amongst friends. They all turned out decent racers and workers, apart from, sods law, the one he kept. It was 17" and not much good at owt ! So we were supprised one day when he walked in the pub with the bitch and the biggest hare I'd ever seen. "Bitch caught it back of the pit heap on the way here", he said, nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal. Anyway, next day I was at the game dealers and he said " your pal Jimmy was here yesterday and bought a big hare, I was supprise

Shooting driven pheasants has become an industry with the majority of birds ending in landfill. That ain't sporting at all!

That time of year again . My now annual pilgrimage to Cheshire for some fantastic woodcock shooting , great dog work , great company and this year a feast of toothsome treats supplied by my very good friend Steve who invites myself and fellow keeper Anthony for this special days sport . We traveled north from Gloucestershire on Sunday evening and stayed at a premier inn so that there was no rushing about and could have a chilled out breakfast and easy drive to the meet . Bloody hell !!! We were the only guests at the inn , the only ones having breakfast . This Covid is crippling th

Don't do it pal.... They don't eat or drink, when the time is right, you will be glad you kept it, We feel your pain jimmy, stay strong bud?