mushroom

Wtf have you just poisoned my night with?

Come again?

No need for the rum mate, she chases me... no shit! If only ASDA was closer

Only 2k? They're handing out 600-10k fines here n Spain, depending the circumstances. We've hit the rum and coke tonight (well she has ) I'm having a wee chaser session, with a nice hash cigarette Wouldn't mind an old Spec right now though, or a bottle of dog

Only the two legged variety This four legged one has my eldest backing her up.... not taking that battle on, no danger

Very true mate.... Dickhead is still here and I've thought about back filling the cnut on a daily basis, for the last 6 years

I did throttle it to be fair I lost my shit, pissed wet through with boiling water, water throughout the gaff... no way was I not flipping out I swear I had the cat by the scruff and she was all tense but not fighting and I walked towards the window, ranting and raving.... it was then I remembered the Mrs was watching I would also regret killing something afterwards for just being a dickhead and playing silly bollocks, plus I'm locked down with the lady and would never hear the end of it

Tbf she has pushed me to fix up the bathroom Bidet is gone (thank fuuck) and I have more room in the bathroom... thinking about moving everything around and renovating it.... fuucking cat giving me jobs

You don't know this cat! The amount of destruction she can cause in less than a minute, is quite something Bitch had my sofa in pieces in less than 5mins! I took the bins down, came back upstairs and she'd torn the bottom out of it and it was spread around the flat in pieces I wish I'd thrown the cnut out of the window. Tbf though, she has been very quiet and sat on her bed looking traumatised since yesterday

Fixed... bidet removed and both pipes capped...

I don't think he can explain....

Nah mate, I've isolated the hot water, so we have cold but most of the hardware shops are shut for coronavirus and only a couple are open, in the mornings I'm on the second bottle of wine

That's the noise, that yowling. She was making that as I had her gripped... gotta say she knew she was in shit because she didn't try to have me

You can fuuck off an'all with ya short jokes Once I get a couple of caps, I'm gonna rip out the bidet and have done with it... not going through that again. That cat don't give a fuuck, you're right mate She nails the dog on a weekly basis, usually when all is calm and he's asleep and chilled out then BAM, the dog yelps and she just struts off

I nearly did, I had the little cnut by the neck but had to check myself.... The Mrs is here and we've only been together a couple of months so...... gotta be nice.. can't go launching the cat (that she loves) out of the third floor window After mopping up and sorting the shit out, took the dog for a walk to calm down.. the cat is still sat in the corner in the hall looking really sorry for itself, 2 hours later... and I still wanna fuuck it up!