abarrett 461 Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 I pulled my cock out of this fat girl's arse, then she turned over spread her legs revealing her sweaty, hairy minge, and said, "Are you going to eat that?". "Your pussy?" I asked disgusted. "No that" she replied, pointing at the sweetcorn on my cock. Is that a joke or a bad memory lol 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
abarrett 461 Posted April 2, 2016 Report Share Posted April 2, 2016 3 scaffolders at the top of a building Stop for lunch Dave opens his snap box looks in and says corned beef again And throws it of the building Jock then opens his box looks in and say egg again And chucks it of the building Pat gets his box out and just chucks it straight of the top saying cheese again Dave asked how do you know you've not even looked Pat says I made them my self this morning 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
boyo 1,398 Posted April 4, 2016 Report Share Posted April 4, 2016 Bloke watching tv one nite when theres a knock on the door he opens the door & looks down & theres a snail. The snail asks for a drink of water the bloke tells it to fcuk off & throws the snail down the garden. Four months later theres a knock on the door & when the bloke opens the door the Snail says ...what did you do that for??? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
P5HEN 168 Posted April 4, 2016 Report Share Posted April 4, 2016 Patient :Doctor doctor I feel like an Italian island Doctor :Don't be so silly What was the name of the 1st paki in England ? Amir How do you get a fat bird in bed ? Piece o cake Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted April 4, 2016 Report Share Posted April 4, 2016 The wife said to me this morning...."looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed??" I said "shut the f**k up and get this mattress off me!!" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,536 Posted April 4, 2016 Report Share Posted April 4, 2016 The wife said to me this morning...."looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed??" I said "shut the f**k up and get this mattress off me!!" Thread is called funny joke thread mate. Cheers, D. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted April 4, 2016 Report Share Posted April 4, 2016 The wife said to me this morning...."looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed??" I said "shut the f**k up and get this mattress off me!!" Thread is called funny joke thread mate. Cheers, D. Am no believing you never laughed...? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
abarrett 461 Posted April 4, 2016 Report Share Posted April 4, 2016 Bill and Ben in the bath Bill says to Ben Flobalobalobalob Ben says If you love me you will Swallow that Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Seeker 3,048 Posted April 4, 2016 Report Share Posted April 4, 2016 Paddy working on a building site when the boss shouts "Paddy phone for you" Paddy answers the phone in the office hangs up and breaks down in tears. "what on earth is the matter?" asks his boss "dat sir was me auntie Ethel, she just called to say my Dads just died" "bloody hell Paddy im sorry, why don't you take the rest of they day off?" "no sir id rather get back to work to take my mind off things" so back he goes, 10 mins later his boss shouts "Paddy its the phone for you again" Paddy answers it and once again comes of crying his eyes out. "What evers the matter Paddy" asks his boss Paddy replies "You'll never believe it sir, but dat was my brother and f*ck me of all the luck, his dads just died as well" 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BGD 6,385 Posted April 5, 2016 Report Share Posted April 5, 2016 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jonjon79 13,340 Posted April 5, 2016 Report Share Posted April 5, 2016 There's 2 cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other 'does this taste funny to you?' 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,536 Posted April 5, 2016 Report Share Posted April 5, 2016 The wife said to me this morning...."looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed??" I said "shut the f**k up and get this mattress off me!!" Thread is called funny joke thread mate.Cheers, D. Am no believing you never laughed... I read it after a shit day Cheers, D. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 7,540 Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 7,540 Posted April 23, 2016 Report Share Posted April 23, 2016 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neil cooney 10,415 Posted April 25, 2016 Report Share Posted April 25, 2016 Have you heard about the constipated mathematician ? He worked it out with a pencil. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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