dytkos 17,536 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.Should be eats shoots and leaves Smithy ffs Cheers, D. 2 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.Should be eats shoots and leaves Smithy ffs Cheers, D. Have you heard that one before like?...? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neil cooney 10,415 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 Three prostitutes, ones the granny, ones the mother and the other is the daughter, all live together. One night the young one comes in, slams the door and throws herself on the couch in an obvious bad mood. "What's wrong ?" asks her mother. "All f****n' night out in the freezing cold for one BJ, 25 quid for my whole night." "Think yourself lucky" says the mother "in my day all we got for a BJ was a fiver." With that, the granny walks in. "You's are both lucky" she says "in my day we were just glad to have something warm in our stomach." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neil cooney 10,415 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.Should be eats shoots and leaves Smithy ffs Cheers, D. No it should be "eats, roots, shoots and leaves." LOL. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Seeker 3,048 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 An old couple are sitting having a beer on the balcony as the sun is going down. The man says "I love you so much it hurts, I couldn't imagine being here without you" The women says "Oh what a beautiful thing to say, but is that you or the beer talking" He replies "That was me........talking to the beer" 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smithie 2,429 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.Should be eats shoots and leaves Smithy ffs Cheers, D. as you can see by the spelling i just cut and paste... should be smithie not smithy ffs 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.Should be eats shoots and leaves Smithy ffs Cheers, D. as you can see by the spelling i just cut and paste... should be smithie not smithy ffs Have you been googling "jokes from the 70's"...?? 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
smithie 2,429 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.Should be eats shoots and leaves Smithy ffs Cheers, D. as you can see by the spelling i just cut and paste... should be smithie not smithy ffs Have you been googling "jokes from the 70's"... yes lab i just googled jokes from dytkos era 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.Should be eats shoots and leaves Smithy ffs Cheers, D. as you can see by the spelling i just cut and paste... should be smithie not smithy ffs Have you been googling "jokes from the 70's"... yes lab i just googled jokes from dytkos era Think he'd left school by the 70's was he no? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,536 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 What do you call a good looking Paki? Asif Cheers, D. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 What do you call a paki karaoke singer. Getupto Singh. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 What do you call a paki in a bottle? Ramdin. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neil cooney 10,415 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 What was the name of the first Paki to climb Everest, swim the Channel and sail around the World. Bin Der Dundat. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Francie 6,362 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 Very funny lads, pissing meself here, any more paki jokes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted March 8, 2016 Report Share Posted March 8, 2016 What do you call a paki that short changes you in the shop.? Black b*****d!...? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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