neems 2,406 Posted April 25, 2016 Report Share Posted April 25, 2016 An Englishman An Welsh man and a Scottish man were on a road trip through Wales,along one of the country roads the Welshman noticed an old Ewe on the road with it's head trapped in the fence looking out into a field. They pulled over and the Englishman volunteered to walk up to the farm house and see if anyone was around to cut the wire and release it,as soon as he was out of sight the Welshman dropped his pants and said 'right boyo we'd better be quick he'll be back soon' and went to work on the poor old Ewe,the Scotsman just stood and stared at him in disbelief with his mouth open. After 5 minutes the Welshman disturbed by the Scotsman glaring at him said 'for fecks sake,instead of just standing their watching why don't you have a turn?' 'Aye' said the Scotsman. And he dropped to his knees stuck his head between the fence. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,568 Posted April 25, 2016 Report Share Posted April 25, 2016 Q : How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb ? A : To get to the other side ! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,536 Posted April 25, 2016 Report Share Posted April 25, 2016 Have you heard about the constipated mathematician ? He worked it out with a pencil. And paper Another one used logs........ Cheers, D. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 7,542 Posted April 25, 2016 Report Share Posted April 25, 2016 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BGD 6,385 Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 Fecking brilliant :laugh: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lab 10,979 Posted April 26, 2016 Report Share Posted April 26, 2016 What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef Stroking Off Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,190 Posted May 21, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 21, 2016 Bill had a broken leg. His friend Nick visits him. Bill asks Nick, "Can you go get my slippers upstairs?" Nick goes upstairs to see Bills beautiful daughters on their beds. Nick says, "Your dad wants me to have sex with you." They say, "No way! Prove it!" Nick shouts at Bill, "Both of them?" Bill shouts, "Yes, both! What's the use of f***ing one!? 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,190 Posted July 3, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2016 Stolen from facebook Paddy is in court,and after an 8 day trial he suddenly pleads guilty.The judge says,"Why didn't you just plead guilty at first and save the court all this wasted time and money?" Paddy says,"I thought I was innocent until I heard all of the evidence.".. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
max_wood 161 Posted July 4, 2016 Report Share Posted July 4, 2016 an English man , irish man and scotts man walk into a bar. The English man wants to leave so they all have to ..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
marshman 7,756 Posted July 4, 2016 Report Share Posted July 4, 2016 an English man , irish man and scotts man walk into a bar. The English man wants to leave so they all have to ..... don't suppose that "joke" would work if you said an English man AND a Welsh man wanted out lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,568 Posted July 4, 2016 Report Share Posted July 4, 2016 (edited) My missus caught me having a w4nk in the shower yesterday......ruined our visit to Auschwitz! Edited July 4, 2016 by Blackbriar 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
max_wood 161 Posted July 4, 2016 Report Share Posted July 4, 2016 a little boy runs into his mums bedroom and says "mum mum,grandmas got a prawn"his mother says "what on earth do you mean son ?" he replies "grandmas got out the shower and fallen asleep naked on the bed,between her legs is the biggest prawn I've ever seen" slightly awkwardly she explains that little boys have got a Willy,ladies have got something called a clitorus. to which he says "well that doesn't explain why it tastes like a prawn" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted July 4, 2016 Report Share Posted July 4, 2016 an English man , irish man and scotts man walk into a bar. The English man wants to leave so they all have to .....don't suppose that "joke" would work if you said an English man AND a Welsh man wanted out lol Trust you!. You should never let cold hard facts spoil a good story. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
max_wood 161 Posted July 4, 2016 Report Share Posted July 4, 2016 an English man , irish man and scotts man walk into a bar. The English man wants to leave so they all have to .....don't suppose that "joke" would work if you said an English man AND a Welsh man wanted out lol Trust you!. You should never let cold hard facts spoil a good story. haha and its would make it too long if you had to explain the scotts man had already had the opportunity to leave but decided to stick around 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bob.243 7,542 Posted July 4, 2016 Report Share Posted July 4, 2016 image.jpg Hope so! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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