I had a Jill like this once, part of the problem is the mutual fear between you and her can become self reinforcing. Thing that cured me was being locked out the house pissed up and then falling asleep in a deck chair in the ferret court after playing with the ferrets! Not suggesting you try that, just saying if you can relax a bit more when your handling her she'll pick up on it and things will come better. I know it's hard to relax when you have the feeling in your head that you're going to get nailed for sure though, that's where the problem lies.