What have I consumed today chaps, this morning fer.breakfast, three pork sausages, two eggs , tin chopped tomatoes, I like em chopped , I've only got the one tooth, fried bread, , n beans, lunch, 4 lamb chops, spuds , veg, gravy, followed by some ice cream, tea time tagliatelle, wi some chicken , bit more ice cream, and a butty fer dipping up, I'm.just about stick a pastie in microwave washed down we a drop of beer, eh, nowt wrong wi that diet, I'm.still standing