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mel b

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Everything posted by mel b

  1. mel b
    What's a cockhold ?.
  2. mel b
    My brother is in the Philippines at the moment, having a house built for him and his girlfriend. He's feckin mental . He had the best english wife in the world , that was well out of his league in every way , but he still isn't satisfied. I've tried to explain to him that he'll end up buried in the jungle , but he's doing what he wants , and doesn't give a rats ass. One of the guys that work for him ( in this country) , Has been sending most of his wages to his phillipino girlfriend for years. He sends her thousands of pounds a year , and he's never even thrown a leg over her .
  3. mel b
    I've just asked anyone , and he said you're a xxxx
  4. mel b
    They were saying on the radio , that he's spent 9 million dollars trying to get off booze and drugs . What a waste in every way.
  5. mel b
    Feck that for a game
  6. mel b
    I'm fresh out of hamsters , you'll have to rough it and make do with a miniature gerbil .
  7. mel b
    That's halfway between a breakfast and a tea . I'd marry you for a plateful of it right now .
  8. mel b
  9. mel b
    It can get a bit expensive when you lodge your guns with a rfd . My mate has a dozen guns lodged at the moment, at the cost of £1.00 per day , per gun . He's been paying £84.00 per week for about a year now , while the police sort issues with his ticket. The sad part is that the guns are worth pennies , but they were his dad and grandads guns , and he can't bring himself to scrap them. The stupid part , is that it's his own fault . He bought a new pup , and wanted to be at home for a few weeks to house train it. So , he went to the doctors for a sick note, and told them that h
  10. mel b

    Ladybirds.

    mel b replied to shaaark's topic in General Talk

    I admire your honesty sir .
  11. mel b
    I'd love to visit that place. Just as long as I didn't have to go in a plane, or go up in that ski lift .
  12. mel b
    That's a beautiful place mack , even without the snow .
  13. mel b
  14. mel b
    It was lovely . It was the only perk of having a mate that worked as a fishmonger . He'd turn up with huge fresh salmon, or catering sized buckets of scallops and King prawns .
  15. mel b
    I used to poach , wood smoked haddock , eggs, and large scallops in milk , then make a smokey cheese sauce with the milk . I can only afford the poached eggs these days .
  16. mel b
    That's oap bingo for you .
  17. mel b
    He always was a flash xxxx
  18. mel b
    I reckon it would fold in half if I got my fat ass in it . I've seen them before to be honest , and I remember that they're supposed to be pretty good .
  19. mel b
    That thing looks more dangerous than the IBC
  20. mel b
    That's a tidy day out .
  21. mel b

    Has anyone…

    mel b replied to mushroom's topic in General Talk

    It'll taste like a well hung pheasant .
  22. mel b

    Has anyone…

    mel b replied to mushroom's topic in General Talk

    Ask him to take a video . You'll be half way to an eel pie .
  23. mel b

    Has anyone…

    mel b replied to mushroom's topic in General Talk

    Xxxx mink , I'm going the full otter .
  24. mel b

    Has anyone…

    mel b replied to mushroom's topic in General Talk

    I think you'll find that a hamster up the bum is very filling . It certainly put me off my tea .
  25. mel b
    I'm with you , I'd give it a crack .
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