Blackbriar

It was the 3rd of September.......The day I'll always remember.....(yes I will)......

She came from Greece, she had a thirst for knowledge.........."

Why is it that a wasp can get through a slighlty open window, but can't get out of a fully open door ? F***ing things !

10 skinheads kicked seven bells out of a Paki at a bus stop,right in front of an eyewitness.Police asked him why he didn't help and he said ' I thought 10 was enough' !!

2black guys talking. One says "After sex with a white woman, do you ever get teary-eyed?" . His mate says "All the time - I think it's the pepper spray !"

2Pakis snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. One's in a korma, the other's got a dodgy tikka !

A masked gunman has stormed the Celebrity Big Brother house and killed everyone. The victims have not yet been identified !!

A Muslim was on 5Live today,saying that in an ideal world,all gays would be hanged. I was shocked !- what's a Muslim doing in an ideal world ??

A Paki dies and goes to heaven. The gates are opened by a surprised St.Peter, who says "Can I help you?" The Paki says "I was called here by Jesus." St.Peter turns and shouts "Jesus - your taxi's here!"

A policeman stops a Muslim,who's leading a cow down the street and asks him where he's going. "I am taking it home to keep in my house",says the Muslim. "What about the shit,the flies and the smell?"asks the copper. The Muslim replies "She'll just have to get used to it!"

A Polish fellow goes to the optician. the optician says 'Can you read the top line?' The Pole replies 'Read it? I know him !'

A woman went to the doctor, complaining of stomach pains.He examined her and said "You'll need to get used to sleepless nights,with bouts of crying and nappy changing". "Why? Am I pregnant?" she asks. "No" says the doctor"You've got bowel cancer!" (Do you think that one's a bit much?)

All men have secrets and here is mine,so let it be known...........

An 8 inch canister was found in the doorway of Luton mosque today.Worshippers said they had no idea what it was. Turned out to be Lynx !

An Englishman,Irishman,Frenchie,German,Turk,Rusian,Indian,Jap,Aussie,Chinaman,Ukranian,Canadian,Spaniard,Swede and a Pole all walked into a bar together. The barman says "I can't serve you without a Thai !"

Breaking rocks in a hot sun...

British police have finally been given the go-ahead to use water cannons on rioters.They're going to add some Persil to stop the coloureds running !

Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp? He bought a warehouse!!

Did you hear about the Jewish paedophile? Lures his victim into the car and says"Hey kid, go easy on the sweets!"

Dos is on a bland diet (jippy guts!), and I ran out of chicken, so I'm up at 7 cooking rice and pan-fried sea bream !! The thing we do for them !!

Exit doors - they're on the way out !

Following the Kenyan massacre,armed terrorists have stormed the streets of Bradford,shooting anyone who isn't a Muslim. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 6.

Forty winks in the lobby.........

Geek joke warning !! Why doesn't Magneto wear purple any more ? Because the days of fuscia passed ! (I'll get my coat !)

Go tell the long-tongued liar. Go tell the midnight rider. Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back-biter ..........