My mate had a speech written for his own wedding do... something like, my wife's sister was stood at the top of the stairs in her underwear gesturing me up , I turned on my heels and bolted out the front door, straight into my father in law , he hugged.me and said well done you've passed the test , so fellas let this be a lesson always keep your condoms in the car...
I told him it was a bad idea imo , thankfully he didn't include that one ?