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mel b

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Everything posted by mel b

  1. mel b

    R.I.P Shane

    mel b replied to EDDIE B's topic in General Talk

    He certainly had a wild ride. RIP Shane.
  2. mel b
    I drive the exact same car . Its been the best all round vehicle I've ever owned by far , until today when I was trying to change the heater motor , now its just a complete and utter xxxx.
  3. mel b
    He was telling me that you couldn't smoke in the street when you'd finished a meal in a restaurant, so they'd let you have a fag in the kitchen . He walked into a corner shop when he was out there , and running it was one of his Indian mates from uni .
  4. mel b
    Lins lad went to India for three months a few years ago . The only time he had the trots , was the one time he ate in an English restaurant out there .
  5. mel b
    My last one is looking to move out . He left once , then came back with a girlfriend in tow . She didn't move in , she just popped in one day and never went home. I can't complain , at least she keeps him out of trouble .
  6. mel b
    My kids are 28 and 30 , and I still tell them santa brings the presents .
  7. mel b
    I bet you didn't get a cold for the rest of the winter though .
  8. mel b
    Don't worry ol mate , I'll be sending you a freshly washed hamster , dressed in a santa suit , and we'll lubricated with goose fat . That'll take your mind off the Kings speech. Ho ho ho .
  9. mel b

    Please Donate !!!

    mel b replied to WILF's topic in General Talk

    You best hope she never sees this .
  10. mel b
    I filled the car in 6 hours and came home . Fortunately , I was just in time to catch your denial sir .
  11. mel b
    Now come on , you put much worse in your mouth than an olive .
  12. mel b
    God I bet that tastes fantastic. I wouldn't have taken the veggies out though.
  13. mel b
    Those mushrooms look like they taste fantastic.
  14. mel b
    I'll try anything once , but hairy nostrils is a line that I would never cross .
  15. mel b
    Ooohhh , I do love a big fat Cuban
  16. mel b
    Theirs worse jobs I suppose . I smell it every day , it seems like half the people that drive or walk past me are using it , and it pretty much all smells the same , apart from the odd one that really stinks something awful.
  17. mel b
    Where do the names come from mack ?, or does it simply taste like black cherry cheesecake ?.
  18. mel b
    Meh , I've done worse . He looks more suited to rugby than football to be honest.
  19. mel b
    Many years ago , I worked in a slaughterhouse. You wouldn't believe what some of the dirty filthy xxxxx get up to . I can only hope that hygiene standards are a bit higher these days. Shop bought meat is a last resort in this house. We mainly eat game that I've harvested and butchered myself .
  20. mel b
    You could always tiptoe through the tulips .
  21. mel b
    Kippers is a good smell .
  22. mel b
    I greatly admire your thinking sir .
  23. mel b
    Inbred , illiterate, rotten teeth . That's your average Tipton bird right there .
  24. mel b
    I'm very disappointed in you . Ugly should never be an excuse for not mounting the beast . My mates favourite saying is " faint heart never xxxxxx a pig "
  25. mel b
    Is that some manner of hair dryer that you're sitting on ? .
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