jacknife 2,005 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 Don't worry I'm a roughy toughy north sea tiger Your shaking like a shitting dog Shit with sugar and treacle round the edges He's as black as the ace of spades Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Francie 6,362 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 You've a fanny on ye like bishop gate lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mattyg 1,862 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 Big nose ....."he could get the last pickled onion out the jar with that nose" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
peterhunter86 8,627 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 If people were been nosey we would say there like fly around shite If a girl slept around we would she has a fanny like a police station prciks going in an out all night Quote Link to post Share on other sites
peterhunter86 8,627 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 Big nose ....."he could get the last pickled onion out the jar with that nose" If he fell he would stab the devil Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Francie 6,362 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 Referring to a big nose ,,,,,,,Mon you salmon beck Or Mon you flook beck Or you've a beck ie face, on you like a slapped arse Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kanny 19,398 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 She could make a glass eye cry that one ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AKA-BRINDLE 879 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 She could eat an apple through a letter box is the one I know, always made me laugh Thats a classic for a bird with big teeth...or just a pig in knickers if shes ugly theres tons but i cant think of em...my oldfella would say 'lets give it a stewards'...as in lets check something out (stewards enquirery)...if someone would say well you cant have everything...he would quickly reply with "where would you keep it all" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AKA-BRINDLE 879 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 Fit as a butchers dog where's mom? "She's run off with a black man" What's for tea? "Shit with sugar on" "I've heard ducks fart before" meaning you don't believe someone "Either shit or get off the pot" meaning either do it or move and let me "he's that tight when he drops 50p it hits him on the back of his neck" "He's got Champagne lips but lemonade pockets" meaning he thinks he's flash "You're all same you young uns men at night and boys in morning" my dad when I woke up with a hangover "hes got champagne lips but lemonade pockets"...be using that one on a certain person in the pub first match of next season Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Neal 1,787 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 Rushing around doing nothing "like a fart in a colander." Worthless "as much use as mud-flaps on a tortoise." 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,568 Posted June 20, 2015 Author Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 Another from my sainted mam. If she thinks someone's fat...... "He can eat two more 'taters than a pig !" Quote Link to post Share on other sites
greg64 2,566 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 In reply to 'I thought you knew/I thought you had it' etc, I've heard "You know what thought did ? Stuck a feather in the ground and thought he'd grow a chicken"........and I've heard it as far apart as Yorkshire and London....... If someone says I thought this or thought that we would say see were thinking got you pissed in the bed and thought you were sweating if i said i thought this or thought that,my mum used to say,well you know what thought did followed a muck cart and thought it was a wedding Quote Link to post Share on other sites
greg64 2,566 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 last time i saw an arse like that ,it was pulling dray waggon Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 Shotgun talk from a water pistol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,536 Posted June 20, 2015 Report Share Posted June 20, 2015 As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike Fart and give us a clue or slap her arse and go in with the ripples Tight as or dry as a nuns Knut One of my faves is comedian Rich Hall: Its not exactly Rocket Surgery lol Cheers, D. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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