Blackbriar
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Everything posted by Blackbriar
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Me and my best mate will be at the local hunt first thing, mooch with the dog later, pi55ed as ar5eholes after that......... Simple pleasures !
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Anyone got "A History of Welsh comedy" by Dai Laffin ? Or "American Independence" by Bertha Venation ?
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That would involve LESS Brussels, CJ !
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We had to do a bit of shopping last night - just milk, bread etc, nothing special. Shops weren't too bad, which is just as well........the good Lady BB suddenly "remembered" lots of things that we desperately needed, but I could have sworn we'd already got ! She insisted on getting a litre bottle of brandy (which neither of us drink), because "my dad might like a drop". I should point out that the old boy is in hospital, with complications following knee surgery, and will be there until the New Year ! I drew the line at more sprouts..........there will just be the two of us, as usual
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I don't mind buying cheaper stuff, but there's 2 things I absolutely refuse to skimp on - tea and sausages !
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None of those poxy metal tea pots that spill half your brew over the table. Tea you can stand your spoon up in, and served in a proper mug. Toast done properly, not just warm bread (like the good lady prefers !). Tinned tomatoes, but not too much juice. Fried mushrooms in decent sized pieces, bacon cooked to a sensible degree (but no black bits) and no cheap sausages........I can't be doing with cheap sausages !
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Cook it long and slow.......and fill your boots. It's cracking !
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I've got a Blur alarm clock. It wakes me up at 7am every morning - except on Wednesdays.............. (You'll all be glad to know that I've got loads of these.........)
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Welcome mate. You'll need a thick skin at times, but we don't mean any harm !
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Terrarium TV has series 4 so far, and all previous series.
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I sometimes watch The Apprentice - it's the best comedy on telly ! "The sharpest young business brains in the country..........." There was an episode where they proved that they (literally) couldn't run a whelk stall. They've tried to run a pound shop, dog grooming, beauty products, various food ventures and ad campaigns - and failed spectacularly at them all.........then bicker like playground 4 year olds, trying to blame each other, as Sugar gets increasingly bad tempered with them. It's hilarious ! (Don't watch any of the other "reality" 5hite, though..........
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I went to see my doctor the other day. I told him "I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home. All day long, non-stop - I can't get it out of my head. It's driving me nuts !" He said "I think you've got Tom Jones syndrome." I asked "Is it rare ?" He said "It's not unusual !" (Taxi !)
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Which computer is the best singer ? A Dell ! (Which way is the cloakroom ?)
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Jonathan.......happy ? Is he feeling alright ? Happy Christmas, you hilarious f***er !
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Living the dream, that !
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I used to be into sadism, necrophilia and bestiality, but I had to give it all up........I realised I was flogging a dead horse !
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Get it professionally checked ASAP ! DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT strap your ribs up - it's a sure-fire recipe for a chest infection ! Get fit checked TOMORROW !
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The only frightening thing about my dentist is his f***ing bill !!
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Maybe, at one time......
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Last week , it was so cold that he was jumping in front of women and describing himself !
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"All political careers, ultimately, end in failure" (Enoch Powell)
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I've been married to the current Lady BB for getting on for 18 years..........a long marriage is based largely on selective hearing and memory !
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Yeah, that's about the head and tail of it !
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Go on them, as we're divulging saucy secrets......... The good lady phoned me the other day, and said "I'm not wearing any underwear !" "Really ?" I said, a bit taken aback. "Yes" she purred......... "Because you didn't put the f***ing washing in the f***ing dryer any of the f***ing 10 times I asked you to !"
