"Am I cruel or a wildlife lover..............??????" Technically your an enigma or One that is puzzling, ambiguous, or inexplicable. I'd say your a Countryman. They will "never" understand, they are not "in" the circle of life, and death...to which all Countrymen belong and as such we will always be an enigma to them.
If i remember rightly David Bellamy once told a fieldsports gathering " I don't like what you do, but for goodness sake keep on doing it".
Had a similar experience to you Nelson. Went out foxing a few years ago. The weather had been bad for days, gales and heavy rain. We