I get what you are saying about it not being acceptable for a dog to call the shots.............however, as I see it, any sort of punishment involving your hand (even a tap on the nose) can lead to a dog being fearful of your hand and this in itself could lead to it striking out at you in fear if it thinks the heavy hand of doom is approaching........you need to bear in mind it may not only be you it strikes out at if it is fearful of hands............it could be anyone, leading to grief for you and your dog.
I always get my dogs into a routine of being fed in peace the same place, with th