bird

After being a heavy smoker for the last 40 years I found myself severely out of breath whenever I ran to catch a bus, so I've given up. I'll just walk, and wait for the next one in future.

After being a heavy smoker for the last 40 years I found myself severely out of breath whenever I ran to catch a bus, so I've given up. I'll just walk, and wait for the next one in future.

Good luck malt with the Knee operation

I joined the Tourettes society yesterday. It only took a minute to be sworn in!

Proper armchair hunter now, fecked my knee last night

Not really wet baay Arya's head yet so I'm gonna have a few cheeky vimto's !!

2 18yr british girls, dashed with acid in africa. Fecking aid workers too, when are we gonna learn and leave the animals to their own business.

fooking broken toe again 5th time same toe....lol

fooking broken toe again 5th time same toe....lol

If you are going to try insulting me via PM please at least *try* to spell your insults correctly..... LMAO...

How on earth is 30 years of comfort justice for starving and torture a 4 year old to death over a long period joke I'm so so mad cracking this case hurts me big time really gets to me

With the full moon, thunder and lightning. You'd think the Anti-Christ had just been born.

just had a beautiful daughter Arya 6lb 14, love you Rach, thanks for a beautiful gift #buzzing

"G'day mate, Fosters helpline...... what's the problem mate?? "Hi guys, I'm in Australia with the grilfriend and she's been stung on the minge by a hornet,and now her fanny has completely closed up" BUMMER MATE,,,, "Thanks guys , thats what I'll do, Bye

Love the red arrows feel so british when I see them

I just got a job in a tampax factory. One week on, three weeks off.

f**k me how bad is Wolverhampton if a bomb went off three weeks ago and they've only just noticed

back to my old name

Apparently, towels are the biggest cause of dry skin.

I was sitting on the train this morning when some bloke tapped me on the shoulder. I instantly felt an electric shock and said, "f**k, who are you?" He said, "I'm a conductor".

Ever since we got married, I've been unable to give my wife an orgasm. She keeps spitting them out.

Final day off biting today.....6000 to do and thats it. Happy days..:-)

My wife’s favourite sexual position is the football hooligan. Where she says, “Come and have a go if you think you’re hard enough”.

found stabba!!!

Some poor old lady fell over unconscious in the alleyway near my house earlier. Well, I say poor, she only had 87p in her purse.