bird

nearly finished my christmas cake , just the icing to go on today , its been fed with whisky for the last 6 weeks , might have over done it a little bit ..lol

Employed as a serf tomorrow :-D

My Grandad died peacefully in a sledging accident. In the end, he just slipped away

just chilling out with my new pup shes a belter thanks to basil brush

looks like yet another night propped up on the sofa unable to breath... sick of this chest thing now grrrr

Following Tom Daley admitting he's gay, rumours are rife that his boyfriend is a fellow Olympian. My money's on Fatima Whitbread.

hope everyone is good ive not been on a while been a canny season so far dogs running well

Just been watching some ladies golf on TV. They're useless at driving,but fooking amazing with an iron.

End of the season for my dog, think he's dislocated his ankle

End of the season for my dog, think he's dislocated his ankle

proven medical fact, if a woman drinks two glasses of wine a night it increases the chance of a stroke . let her finish the bottle and she will probably suck it aswell .

10 skinheads kicked seven bells out of a Paki at a bus stop,right in front of an eyewitness.Police asked him why he didn't help and he said ' I thought 10 was enough' !!

Going to scare the shit out of the pensioners in my street when I go trick or treating tonight I am dressing up as a gas bill

Paddy walks into a bar and asks for an orange juice. The barman says "still orange?" Paddy says "Yes I haven't changed me fking mind!!

Today our boss asked us if we could eliminate one race what would it be. Naturally, I said those dirty f*****g black c**ts. But everyone else said the triathlon.

My wife said, "How on Earth are we going to use nine percent less gas?" "You can stop burning my f*cking tea for a start." I replied.

I ran into a back of a car the other day.A gorgeous,leggy blonde got out and said,"Ram me up the arse,why don't you?" And that,Your Hounour,is where I believe the confusion began.

Wembley will have not seen this many Polish people in the stadium since it was being built.

3rd day without a fag, ready for killing some c**t

What do you call a smiling black man ? Snigger !

I've just learned that tantric sex is where you have sex without moving. I've never tried it myself, but my wife does it all the time.

Boss is breaking my balls today. Ready to Jack!

THE STRENGTH OF PARACORD...CHECK IT OUT...

You can't put a price on happiness

3 weeks work in Wales, decisions.