bird

5 weeks off the fags ... over the worst now.. so i need a new challenge

If you ask me, Parkinson's disease is way better than Alzheimer's.I'd rather spill half my pint than forget where I left the full one.

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming

pogues playing at thetford forest...GET IN!!!

My wife walked in to the dinning room last night and pored boiling hot carrots peas gravy mash and sausages over her head. I'm putting the dinner on she said. How we laughed on the way to the burns unit !! Whilst out treasure hunting me and my friend were horrified to unearth a dead body some what badly decomposed, how we laughed when we realised we were digging in the local cemetery !

Two guys in a health club, one is putting on lace knickers. "Since when do you wear womens pants?" "Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!"

So proud my lads passed his driving test ... yippeeeee

Watched 12 Years A Slave..cannot believe the horror , cruelty and exploitation a man can do to his fellow man.£7.95 for a f*****g popcorn and coke!!

was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

My wife walked in to the dinning room last night and pored boiling hot carrots peas gravy mash and sausages over her head. I'm putting the dinner on she said. How we laughed on the way to the burns unit !!

19 hrs and still no rollup, these ecigs work lol

my new pup seen its first rabbit taken right infront of me this morning while taking them out before work

In 1814 Women had no rights. In 1914 Women fought for some rights. In 2014 Women are always f*cking right.

Well pleased with the pup, fired a half dozen shots over him today and he never blinked.

Need a poo, 36 hours and still no erruption

I can't find my 'Gone in 60 seconds' DVD,it was here a minute ago.

Ashes. How embarrassing

speeding will be £ 100 quid+3 points 15 mile mph over twats

I was sat watching the TV with my dad when I asked him who Sherlock's assistant was. "Watson." "Who's Sherlock's assistant?"

100% no drinking today, ruff would be an understatement

Show me a man who calls himself a vegan, and I'll show you a man who's trying to shag a vegan.

Tongue like ghandis flip flop......

merry christmas to all Thl members! Enjoy it, and be safe MoChara a.k.a Nicole.

the wifes asked me to stop messing with my bit on the side,but it has to look right when i comb it over

nearly finished my christmas cake , just the icing to go on today , its been fed with whisky for the last 6 weeks , might have over done it a little bit ..lol