first up, i don't know you, but this thread looks like it will end with you declaring yourself as a member of the homosexual community, and emigrating with your wee dog to gay paris.
or if your hetrosexual and genuinely looking escapism from your cruel tormentors mind clutches. ask
1)what is the dogs opinion, he knows the 2 of you.
2)should you get some form of genital infection (std,vd), just to be show your the man.
3)should you be considering a move (no need for a camper van, all you need is a wheelbarrow, a shetland pony and a tent).