Pet hates.

[mC HULL 10,458]

24 minutes ago, THE STIFFMEISTER said:

I can’t think of anything better than an older bird , keeping herself in trim , and having her confidence tweaked with a bit of laughter line removal and collagen assistance . 
 

f**k that done up like a dogs dinner not for me a snide as a cheetham hill moncler lol 

as bad as the prancers on the sun beds with there turkish hair cut and sleeve tats lol

[WILF 44,408]

Well, after this revelation that will be every bird in Hull rushing to cancel their sun bed appointment and reaching for the make up remover !…….

[Councilestatekid 1,651]

1 hour ago, mC HULL said:

f**k that done up like a dogs dinner not for me a snide as a cheetham hill moncler lol 

as bad as the prancers on the sun beds with there turkish hair cut and sleeve tats lol

Feck me cud be describing me pal sleeve tat n sunbed just can't pull off the Turkish haircut yet

[keepdiggin 9,271]

12 hours ago, mC HULL said:

f**k that done up like a dogs dinner not for me a snide as a cheetham hill moncler lol 

as bad as the prancers on the sun beds with there turkish hair cut and sleeve tats lol

You forgot to mention the 10yr old Range Rover evouqe 

[big sid 1,122]

87 pages of pet hates probably got 2 pages if  we listed what we like.

[shaaark 10,162]

39 minutes ago, big sid said:

 probably got 2 pages if  we listed what we like.

Here are a few old sayings I particularly like;

I can't hear myself think.

My eyes were too big for my belly.

It's a rum do.

If I never see you again, it'll be too soon. 

 

Any good?  

Got several more, but in a bit of a rush, got a meeting to attend soon.  

[WILF 44,408]

1 hour ago, big sid said:

87 pages of pet hates probably got 2 pages if  we listed what we like.

I like the British countryside and it’s villages 

I like standing by the Thames in the old dock areas of London at 4am on a summer morning with a strong mug of sweet tea when the water is like a mirror.

I like the smell of hop fields in Kent

I like the idea of the nation we used to be now only available in memory of story’s told by parents and grandparents and in old films.

I like how British people get excited about absolutely nothing 

I used to like talking to all the market traders in Deptford and Roman Road when I was little 

I like chatting to British shop girls on the till in my 2 minute interactions with a “How are you today darling?” and a reply of “Not too bad luv, busy today” or some such seemingly unimportant and yet essential meaningless chit chat that makes a community of British people just that, a community.

I could go on and on because the things I like are myriad and all the more special because they are badly endangered……

[gnasher16 29,701]

16 hours ago, THE STIFFMEISTER said:

I can’t think of anything better than an older bird , keeping herself in trim , and having her confidence tweaked with a bit of laughter line removal and collagen assistance . 
 

Yes but when you saw her a few months ago and she had a face like a used tea bag she surely has to expect a reaction......i couldnt place what she reminded me of but then remembered the Mash Get Smash advert from years ago........it didnt go down too well 

[gnasher16 29,701]

Oh and another one.....bin liners/black bags !......how the f**k are you supposed to get the c**ts open

Ive just literally had a fight with one,started off trying to cleverly rub the top between my fingers,nothing.....licked my fingers to get a bit more purchase,nothing.....tried the same manoeuvre at each corner,nothing.....looked several times to make sure im at the open end of the bag,check complete......tried rubbing the entire thing between my hands to force an edge up,nothing.....tore an inch down in order to prise it apart,nothing......shook it around in circular motions like someone airing the laundry,nothing.......stood on it dragging my feet around in the hope it would separate,nothing......picked it back up with a more sensible approach,took a breath and focused in on the join with magnifying glass accuracy trying to delicately pick it apart,nothing.........tore it into pieces and beat the c**t out of it while calling it every name under the sun.........f**k it bin liners are now a pink job !

[lurcherman 887 12,696]

8 minutes ago, gnasher16 said:

Oh and another one.....bin liners/black bags !......how the f**k are you supposed to get the c**ts open

Ive just literally had a fight with one,started off trying to cleverly rub the top between my fingers,nothing.....licked my fingers to get a bit more purchase,nothing.....tried the same manoeuvre at each corner,nothing.....looked several times to make sure im at the open end of the bag,check complete......tried rubbing the entire thing between my hands to force an edge up,nothing.....tore an inch down in order to prise it apart,nothing......shook it around in circular motions like someone airing the laundry,nothing.......stood on it dragging my feet around in the hope it would separate,nothing......picked it back up with a more sensible approach,took a breath and focused in on the join with magnifying glass accuracy trying to delicately pick it apart,nothing.........tore it into pieces and beat the c**t out of it while calling it every name under the sun.........f**k it bin liners are now a pink job !

To heavy handed mate, you need to calm down and take your time, it’s only a defenceless bag. 

[THE STIFFMEISTER 14,610]

17 minutes ago, gnasher16 said:

Oh and another one.....bin liners/black bags !......how the f**k are you supposed to get the c**ts open

Ive just literally had a fight with one,started off trying to cleverly rub the top between my fingers,nothing.....licked my fingers to get a bit more purchase,nothing.....tried the same manoeuvre at each corner,nothing.....looked several times to make sure im at the open end of the bag,check complete......tried rubbing the entire thing between my hands to force an edge up,nothing.....tore an inch down in order to prise it apart,nothing......shook it around in circular motions like someone airing the laundry,nothing.......stood on it dragging my feet around in the hope it would separate,nothing......picked it back up with a more sensible approach,took a breath and focused in on the join with magnifying glass accuracy trying to delicately pick it apart,nothing.........tore it into pieces and beat the c**t out of it while calling it every name under the sun.........f**k it bin liners are now a pink job !

I can imagine you have those delicate fingers , much like a Chinese tailor , elegantly dancing over intricate works without as much as a smear left behind 

[NEWKID 26,270]

16 minutes ago, gnasher16 said:

Oh and another one.....bin liners/black bags !......how the f**k are you supposed to get the c**ts open

Ive just literally had a fight with one,started off trying to cleverly rub the top between my fingers,nothing.....licked my fingers to get a bit more purchase,nothing.....tried the same manoeuvre at each corner,nothing.....looked several times to make sure im at the open end of the bag,check complete......tried rubbing the entire thing between my hands to force an edge up,nothing.....tore an inch down in order to prise it apart,nothing......shook it around in circular motions like someone airing the laundry,nothing.......stood on it dragging my feet around in the hope it would separate,nothing......picked it back up with a more sensible approach,took a breath and focused in on the join with magnifying glass accuracy trying to delicately pick it apart,nothing.........tore it into pieces and beat the c**t out of it while calling it every name under the sun.........f**k it bin liners are now a pink job !

On that note, why can't anyone else in the house take the bin bag out of the bin before its so jammed with rubbish it's physically impossible to get it out without ripping it up... does my head in, just keep ramming it in, in sure they even stand on it to make more room...its not a skip ffs!

 

[THE STIFFMEISTER 14,610]

Just now, NEWKID said:

On that note, why can't anyone else in the house take the bin bag out of the bin before its so jammed with rubbish it's physically impossible to get it out without ripping it up... does my head in, just keep ramming it in, in sure they even stand on it to make more room...its not a skip ffs!

 

Oh don’t even start 

obviously the car keys live on the side of the couch and the bank card on the mirror shelf in the en-suite bathroom , where else would they live ? 

these mysteries also align with “have we got any cat food ? “ or making the f***ing bed or fake eyelashes on every f***ing surface in the house , or mascara on the carpet , or standing on a pair of eyebrow tweezers or not putting a bag in the bin and finding it full of empty st tropez spray tins .

Does my canister in , feel like max from wolf of Wall Street for the first hour I get back in from work . 

[mackem 23,901]

 

[THE STIFFMEISTER 14,610]

44 minutes ago, gnasher16 said:

Yes but when you saw her a few months ago and she had a face like a used tea bag she surely has to expect a reaction......i couldnt place what she reminded me of but then remembered the Mash Get Smash advert from years ago........it didnt go down too well 

Nah man I know what you mean , however it should be confined to over 30 and still in good clip .