Bosun11 537 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 I too have been subjected to these tight jeaned, check shirted, man bun, bearded, salad eating w@nkstains in real life. For a number of years now I only thought the existed through the pages of wanky mags like GQ or the like, modeling the latest beard enhancing cream or such but NO this quasi-macho image now can be seen in towns and cities all over our once great land. And only on a work trip away the other week, in the changing rooms with young males of this type (and keeping my arse to the wall), i couldn't help but notice one chap, who had a kit bag with half of fecking Superdrug's products in it. He must have noticed me looking bewilderd at both his kit and the liberal splattering and rubbing of said products on hair, skin and beard and maybe thinking either i wanted a dollop, or taking pity on my years and thinking i really needed a dollop, outstretched his arm and offered me the tub of slap..! "Nah mate, your alright" I told him. "Don't you moisturise?" he repiled, seening the look of disgust on my face. "Listen mate, i can just about be botherd to wipe my arse after a shite"... Clearly was not the answer he was expecting and the tub of cream was withdrawn rather sharpish... Salad, sure is fecking up the nation.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meece 1,957 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 Advertising. ... have you noticed how all of the men seem to act like complete wallies. There's Rob Brydon on the cruise adverts. What a tool.... there's the bloke on the sun life insurance ads. Another complete helmet! There's Philip scofield on, we buy any car... say no more, say no more. There's a whole rake of them. For a long time I've been getting gip off of both the wife and the daughters for verbally abusing the things on tv. I thought that I was on my own. Imagine being a kid of one of these things and having to go to school, mind,; most of them are the same 》》》》and going back home. NOW; tell me father, what did you do at work today? "Well son, I got dressed up and put my face on and then pranced about,, singing and waving my arms about in wild abandon. Get my rifle màude !!! There's vermin abroad!! 1 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisJones 7,973 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 I went out for breakfast this morning. The place was packed so I sat outside with the dog. It was brisk at -3ºC but no wind. I ordered steak and eggs for me and got a side order of sausages for the dog. Coffee only in this gaff. Truck rolls up, rancher gets out with his dog and sits at the table next to me. Nods and puts his revolver on the table as he's sitting down. Looks me up and down. "Is that your Dodge?" "Yep" "That's a f*ck*n nice truck, man. Is it the Cummins?" "Yep" (Nods approval) He orders steak and we both eat in silence. The dogs occasionally growl at each other. F*ck that salad bollocks. 7 3 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ted Newgent 4,896 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 9 minutes ago, ChrisJones said: I went out for breakfast this morning. The place was packed so I sat outside with the dog. It was brisk at -3ºC but no wind. I ordered steak and eggs for me and got a side order of sausages for the dog. Coffee only in this gaff. Truck rolls up, rancher gets out with his dog and sits at the table next to me. Nods and puts his revolver on the table as he's sitting down. Looks me up and down. "Is that your Dodge?" "Yep" "That's a f*ck*n nice truck, man. Is it the Cummins?" "Yep" (Nods approval) He orders steak and we both eat in silence. The dogs occasionally growl at each other. F*ck that salad bollocks. i dont know if to laugh,like or thank you for that fella when i pull up anywhere in my F150 they laugh at me 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meece 1,957 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 8 minutes ago, ChrisJones said: I went out for breakfast this morning. The place was packed so I sat outside with the dog. It was brisk at -3ºC but no wind. I ordered steak and eggs for me 》》》》》》?? and got a side order of sausages for the dog. You Sir are a gentleman . 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hawki 1,429 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 5 minutes ago, ChrisJones said: I went out for breakfast this morning. The place was packed so I sat outside with the dog. It was brisk at -3ºC but no wind. I ordered steak and eggs for me and got a side order of sausages for the dog. Coffee only in this gaff. Truck rolls up, rancher gets out with his dog and sits at the table next to me. Nods and puts his revolver on the table as he's sitting down. Looks me up and down. "Is that your Dodge?" "Yep" "That's a f*ck*n nice truck, man. Is it the Cummins?" "Yep" (Nods approval) He orders steak and we both eat in silence. The dogs occasionally growl at each other. F*ck that salad bollocks. i read that like a Clint Eastwood script.... what were you packing yourself? what was the rancher driving? what type of dogs did he have? what did his dogs have to eat? Did he even eat the whole meal himself? 1 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisJones 7,973 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 (edited) On 2/27/2018 at 18:59, Ted Newgent said: i dont know if to laugh,like or thank you for that fella when i pull up anywhere in my F150 they laugh at me You'd be fine out this way. Doesn't count if you pull up in a tow-truck though! On 2/27/2018 at 19:01, Meece said: You Sir are a gentleman . Thing 2 will dine like a king until he gets to rainbow bridge! On 2/27/2018 at 19:08, hawki said: i read that like a Clint Eastwood script.... what were you packing yourself? Glock 17 On 2/27/2018 at 19:08, hawki said: what was the rancher driving? Dodge 4500 On 2/27/2018 at 19:08, hawki said: what type of dogs did he have? Australian Cattle Dog On 2/27/2018 at 19:08, hawki said: what did his dogs have to eat? Nothing, but looking at the balls on him I'd reckon gunpowder and crushed glass. On 2/27/2018 at 19:08, hawki said: Did he even eat the whole meal himself? He had the cow in a rear naked choke as I was paying my tab... Edited March 6, 2018 by ChrisJones 3 2 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hawki 1,429 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 savage reply Chris..... who taped out first? pmsl 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
green lurchers 16,370 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 4 hours ago, ChrisJones said: I went out for breakfast this morning. The place was packed so I sat outside with the dog. It was brisk at -3ºC but no wind. I ordered steak and eggs for me and got a side order of sausages for the dog. Coffee only in this gaff. Truck rolls up, rancher gets out with his dog and sits at the table next to me. Nods and puts his revolver on the table as he's sitting down. Looks me up and down. "Is that your Dodge?" "Yep" "That's a f*ck*n nice truck, man. Is it the Cummins?" "Yep" (Nods approval) He orders steak and we both eat in silence. The dogs occasionally growl at each other. F*ck that salad bollocks. What cut of steaks ? How big were they ? In ounces how were they cooked ? Did you have Coleman’s with it ? Don’t miss out the finer points next time Chris 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Born Hunter 17,639 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 What Chris doesn't mention is that he keeps words to a minimum to save the locals having a '1776 flashback' and getting the sharp end of that revolver! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ollieollie 766 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 Men are dividing into 2 sub species, on one hand you have the bloke and on the other you have the bird. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 Spot the difference: 1970s role model. 21st century role model. One moisturises and one doesn't. Glad to say my son isn't metrosexual or whatever they are called these days. When rylan was advertising some show or other on telly, he actually asked me "Who is that f***ing poof?" Warmed my heart to hear that. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DIDO.1 20,891 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 I'm ill at the minute, exhausted, freezing cold, aching. The Mrs has decided I'm not eating proper so she's bought me steaks every night for my tea....sirloins, ribeye even a fillet for date night Friday. Still feel like shite but I do feel less inclined to use moisturiser. Is watercress classed as salad? I'm addicted to the stuff....i have a pile of it with my steaks! It's full of iron apparently Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,568 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 30 minutes ago, walshie said: Spot the difference: 1970s role model. 21st century role model. One moisturises and one doesn't. Glad to say my son isn't metrosexual or whatever they are called these days. When rylan was advertising some show or other on telly, he actually asked me "Who is that f***ing poof?" Warmed my heart to hear that. Your son calls him "that poof", but you know his name ? Just saying like........... 1 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted February 28, 2018 Report Share Posted February 28, 2018 6 minutes ago, Blackbriar said: Your son calls him "that poof", but you know his name ? Just saying like........... Obviously I said "I have no idea" in a deep voice and talked about sport. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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