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abarrett

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Everything posted by abarrett

  1. abarrett
    Bill and Ben in the bath Bill says to Ben Flobalobalobalob Ben says If you love me you will Swallow that
  2. abarrett
    3 scaffolders at the top of a building Stop for lunch Dave opens his snap box looks in and says corned beef again And throws it of the building Jock then opens his box looks in and say egg again And chucks it of the building Pat gets his box out and just chucks it straight of the top saying cheese again Dave asked how do you know you've not even looked Pat says I made them my self this morning
  3. abarrett
    Is that a joke or a bad memory lol
  4. abarrett
    My air gun competence certificate is now about 20 years old and is still acceptable I took the course in the stores of the rentokl office with an old theoban shooting at about 15 yards The best bit is the instructor was Terry doe
  5. abarrett
    We get asked for our air gun certificate as a company more times than not It is only for the contact to tick all the boxes So if anything does go wrong or questions get asked they have been seen to cover their own backs They do not understand the job so they need to look like they do You could knock up a master of air guns and the law certificate on the computer And without a doubt they wouldn't verify it or even know where to look As long as they have something People do like a bit of paper these days
  6. abarrett
    I'm not saying you don't mean it I believe you mean every word What I'm saying is if it's not the excitement of that good shot Why not enjoy all those things but leave the gun at home As for killing things for the sake of it I have shotguns,centre fires,rimfires,air rifles Apart from rats the last time I shot anything was beginning of Feb on cock day on the estate I beat on I can't remember the last time I shot a rabbit because I have no use for them when I've shot them So I don't I get out evert week on the foxes. I lamp not shoot but still the excitement is there seeing a good well
  7. abarrett
    Great out doors ,fresh air ,nice views My arse If some one came to any of you lads and asked Do you fancy a night in a stinking transfer station knee deep in shite But I guarantee you will shoot 200 rats Would you hand on heart say no thanks It's all about the field craft and views It's all about the excitement It doesn't matter if your shooting , calling ,lamping You know you feel it If you don't THEN that's the time to jack
  8. abarrett
    Get him to walk to your house for the lift Then drop him of at your house when you've Finished let him walk home He will do it or sort something else out
  9. abarrett
    Just so you know Sometimes when I press a topic on the iPad I touch the name above it which takes me to the profile So if I come up as looked at your profile I'm not the old bill I won't be asking for a date I'm not interested who your friends with I just ain't got me glasses on
  10. abarrett
    Bloke and his wife in a pub the wife goes up to the bar to get a drink While she's there a lad starts talking to her she gets her drink and sits back down She then says to her husband I have never been so offended in all my life That lad has just said he wants to pull my knickers down tip me upside down Fill my fanny with beer and drink me dry Are you going to have a word with him Husband says not a chance Any bloke that can drink 15 pints in one go ain't to be messed with
  11. abarrett
    Hats off to you lads that can catch moles Never mind make a living at it I've worked in pest control for a few years now The last 11 years for my self with not a bad level of success I have a bag full of mole traps a dibber the lot But I COULDNT CATCH A MOLE IF IT WAS IN A BUCKET And I have tried and people have tried teaching me
  12. abarrett
    Many years ago on my first application I asked about forgetting something that happened years ago The fire arms dept ( Staffordshire) told me to go to the local police station and get a print out Of all convictions photo copy it then attach it to the form I think it cost me about £10 Bit like today's crb check Takes all the thoughts of hope that's right out of the process
  13. abarrett
    What you call a dog with no legs What ever you want it won't come Or Park drive you can take it for a drag I do like a shite joke
  14. abarrett
    Paki tight rope walker Balan Singh
  15. abarrett
    When you're asleep and others think your dead When you turn the lights out for economic reasons only You buy a compass for your dash board You have a party and the neighbors don't even know
  16. abarrett
    When everything hurts And what doesn't hurt doesn't work
  17. abarrett
    Shame I was looking forward to the pictures
  18. abarrett
    That's a code bet it makes perfect sense to someone
  19. abarrett
    Obviously we don't know which guns where taken but I remember seeing somewhere Perrezi think that's how it's spelt Presenting him with a new one off competition gun May be they where after that thinking its full of value Personally I hope they load it drop it blow each other's balls off Then catch fire only to be put out when their thieving fingers have dropped off then On arriving at hospital being told the docs are on strike but not to worry Harold shipmans been let out to help out Thieving ba57ards
  20. abarrett
    That would only work if the inside of the roof is flat Otherwise it would be to low inside the car And the bolts sticking out the roof holding it all up might put people off Unless your taking the pi55 then it's spot on lol
  21. abarrett
    Bloke goes to the doctors only to find his old doc has been replaced By a young blonde lady doctor Doctor says come in sit down now I don't want you to be embarrassed You can tell me anything and I will do all I can to help you Know what is the problem Bloke says do you think my dick tastes funny
  22. abarrett
    Ain't times changed every street had a strange bloke every body knew The place was always better for him being there Now you get a strange bloke in the street there's a real risk He's a relocated pedo or some other undesirable
  23. abarrett
    When we was little kids we had an old boy lived by us Big grey beard bow legs about 4 foot high He always carried a bugle I have seen times when he's has 30 kids running from one end of street to the other to the perfect sound Of the cavalry charge The kids loved him
  24. abarrett

    Vikings

    abarrett replied to mule123's topic in General Talk

    I've searched virgin media can't find it on the history channel Also used the search bar NOTHING where you lads watching it ?
  25. abarrett
    Glad it's not just me Been on the phone to Bt on and off for 3hrs today Bt called me a few months back to tell me on of my work phones was generating £140 worth of data I told them to shut it down as it wasn't us ok will do was the answer Then they sent me a bill for £650 odd pounds I rang them up, after speaking to every man and his dog I was told not to worry they will sort it NO the following month they took the money from the bank So again I rang 7 times each time I got I will look in to it and call you back ,no call back came Poor woman rang me today asking me to renew my land li
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