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pip1968

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Everything posted by pip1968

  1. pip1968

    Hmrc

    got a rebate last month for £880 wasnt expecting it so was a nice suprise
  2. When I was cross-examining the victim in a rape trial she asked me to stop. I just carried on regardless though, she didn't look like she really meant it.

    1. scothunter
    2. scothunter

      scothunter

      gang rape 9out of ten cant be wrong

    3. Blackbriar

      Blackbriar

      She was graped....there was a bunch of 'em !

  3. thats the way my dogs are they just get on with it,if they scent something their of over fences and into the rough trying to flush it out
  4. "Take me back to your place and f**k me up the arse!" Some fat girl demanded last night. "I would but I don't have any lubricant," I said. "Oh you won't need any, I'm very loose," she winked. "Maybe so," I replied, "but my door frame is very narrow."

  5. my over weight bird has Just been to the gym and there's a new machine there. I only used it for about an hour, as I started to feel sick, but it's great: it's got KitKats, Mars bars, crisps and everything in it.

  6. nice place that windowview and ourgate
  7. another 2 years and you get a letter from the queen happy birthday
  8. whats funny about that you seriously dont find that funny mate??? Big terry fan sorry.. sorry if i offended you
  9. Saw it earlier Kay, looked like a terrys chocolate orange lol....still seeing these flashes! We're doomed i will have a wander on the front to see if i can see any flashers oooh kay you saucy girl you
  10. in really bad pain the arthritis is playing up big style waiting for advice from the hostpital ffs

    1. jeppi26

      jeppi26

      I thought the same mate I couldn't walk for weeks when I first got the pain is intense

    2. pip1968

      pip1968

      i was like you 2 years ago unable to walk and she had to dress me and that went on for 3 months they gave me an ijection and the next day i was fine,the bad thing is iv got work coming in and just been offered more and dont want to lose it

    3. jeppi26

      jeppi26

      Is it in you ankles then? N it's bad crack with work mate

    4. Show next comments  246 more
  11. The wife came back from buying her costume for a fancy dress party earlier. "Stay there baby" she said to me, "while I nip upstairs and put it on to show you." She came back down, opened the living room door and stood before me. "Wow honey, that's a winning costume you've got there." I told her. "That's the most convincing killer whale outfit I've ever seen." "I'm a nun, you c**t."

  12. i just let my girls do what they wanted the eldest took up gymnastics for a few years ad was really good then moved onto boxing just keeping fit and also does some modeling but the youngest doesnt bother with any sport
  13. John Terry tried to put the racism trial behind him by taking his family to the zoo. "Come here, kids," he said, pointing through the glass. "Look at that monkey! Ooh ooh ooh!" The whole family laughed, before Terry pulled his wallet out and said, "Sorry, mate. Two adults and two children, please."
  14. spent 10mths in ireland i was working there but it was like an holiday had a great time and made to feel really welcome the people are superb
  15. pip1968

    Wtf. Lol

    Too smelly for me. f**k trying to climb that just incase you fell in
  16. pip1968

    Wtf. Lol

    when did you enter it bob
  17. torre del mar on the costa del sol but travel to nerja now thats a lovely place i can go when i want as my missus mum has a place out there
  18. was out lamping last night and tripped over a big silver trophy the things people throw away

    1. pip1968

      pip1968

      but at least i have pulled out of something ye big virgin lol

    2. RubyTex

      RubyTex

      haha ya dafty, make sure you get to the comp next year mate!

    3. mick c
    4. Show next comments  246 more
  19. my best mate who i grew up with from as far back as i can remember started losing the plot at about the age of 25 and tbh i thought they let him out to early,people would ring me at all times of the day and night can you come and get your mate hes acting strange and doing mad things he will only listen to you,this went on for a few years and in the end i had to walk away because it was affecting my family life as i had to have in mine around my kids listening to the crap he was spouting
  20. i have aquired 2 combines and resprayed them in real tree cammo as not to raise suspicion pm me if interested

    1. foxtails
    2. Kay

      Kay

      can you do my walls in realtree have you any referances..lol

    3. pip1968

      pip1968

      psssss dont tell cookie lol

  21. he was obviously not in the right frame of mind,just a pity the police couldnt have got to him before his accident sad really
  22. a naked man who ran through manchester has been found dead at the bottom of a liftshaft http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/naked-man-pictured-running-through-2190336
  23. I got naked with a new lady for the first time today. She looked me up and down and said, "My God, that's huge. I reckon it's the biggest one I've ever seen." All in all it was a bad day at the tumor clinic.

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