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darkie

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Everything posted by darkie

  1. my wifes always carping on about something
  2. darkie

    boner.

    old mother hubbard went to the cupboard to give poor rover a bone but when she bent over rover took over and gave her a bone of his own
  3. im suprised the old enemy doenst go for the running dogs like we do ,i seen so many hares over there i get bored counting them,but they seem to be very much into shooting and hunting with hounds so i suppose they dont like the competion
  4. youve sold it to me mate,you sure your not the charasmatic bloke ?
  5. i dont understand how that with all that high tech equipment this war is going on for so long,these people are living in tents,the russians were out there a long time and they didnt have much luck .they say that afghanistan has never been conquered in its long history. i guess its all down politics
  6. 2 old men are talking about nuclear holocaust ,one says "what would you do if the world was about to end" the second old boy thinks about it then says "id shag the first thing that moves ,what would you do" ..................."id stand very ,very still"
  7. i knew a jack russell once who had one eye ( he came back one night with it missing and his face a shredded mess) and a huge scar running down his chest from a car accident,he was the most ugly aggressive dog ive ever come across,if it moved however big it was he wanted to kill it ,anyway on the farm were he lived was a large population of feral cats and he would kill them on sight ,even a large tom he would savage to death and come back home with rips in his ears and great lumps of skin shredded of his face and back looking like hed been put through a mincer ,as for the law concerning cats i
  8. darkie

    noddy

    why has noddy got a bell on his hat......................? because hes a c**t
  9. a squirrel bit me once,that was really hard
  10. darkie

    Is god real...

    god is dog spelt backwards the true name of jehova is rover adams rib is buried in the garden
  11. anyone except ......................the offliner
  12. my apologises,if it helps it was a very funny joke
  13. i think you mean grannies,lord lucan killed a nannie
  14. i can do a really good impression of president wensleydale from rastamouse anyone else do any impressions
  15. i think they were twentys looking back ,im just popping of to the post box now
  16. i found one under the bed in the shoulder of mutton in wantage about 7 years ago,the place was such a pigsty its probaly still there ,might be worth a phonecall?
  17. an odd uncle of mine showed me how to fold 2 bank notes in half put them together and the picture is the spitting image of cliff richard,ive tried it since but its never worked,he also showed me the old one of folding a fiver in half to see the queens bum
  18. wasnt there something about all the jews who worked there having the day off?
  19. i felt sorry for the hot dog seller at the bottom of the tower ,his last words were "who ordered 2 jumbos?"
  20. real good quality blades there ,have you ever made a folding pocket knife ? its something ive been thinking about making for years but i dont think i have the skill or patience if you have any advice would be welcome
  21. it might be little people,like the borrowers or even little lego toy people who come alive at night
  22. darkie

    ha ha

    doctor doctor i think im tom jones "thats not unusaul"
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