Your bang on wilf! My family more so me and my old man go through similar on a daily basis, sister was abused as a kid by a old friend of the family and got away with it for year as my sister kept it quiet until it got too much for her, she was and still is a cracking lassie but this beast has left her suicidal, bi polar, self harmer, and will never have kids, she also spends most of her time in a mental hospital! It only came out a couple years ago after years of self harming and my wife had to read her diary while in hospital for us all to realise what was going on with her. It's killed her