I'm looking for a new assistant manager at work............

[dytkos 17,536]

Whenever my Mrs interviewed for a chef she always asked if they could prepare game.

Cheers, D.

[dytkos 17,536]

1 minute ago, WILF said:

f**k sake, they will be a bundle of chuckles!........3 months and you will be saying to yourself “why did I employ this boring c**t !” 

Borings good if they are efficient and do the job you want to the standards you want, lot of tossers out there.

Cheers, D.

[EDDIE B 3,120]

Bet if she had a big pair of tits, you wouldn't give a shit if she had PETA tatoo'd across her forehead!

[Arry 18,630]

In  the building recession in 1981 I had a ground works business and was told my prices were to be cut by 20% well as I were now paying my lads more than I was earning myself told them to stuff it. The old saying if you pay peanut you get monkeys, Asked me what you going to do, Just watch I said wrote a cheque out for every body off hired the machines loaded my tools and drove of site. Sorry now to the point had no job cut my nose of to spite my face, but would have gone bust if not. Went for a job in a factory. Now the SS human resources interview, "so you employed people" 'Yes" "have you ever sacked anybody?" "yes" "Why" "because he upset all the lads and then were nearly fighting each other he was a bad apple" " how did you do it? " " wrote out a cheque for a days pay even though it was midday and asked him to leave" " could you not have give him another chance" " no".

Didn't get the job then.

Cheers Arry

[WILF 44,334]

41 minutes ago, dytkos said:

Borings good if they are efficient and do the job you want to the standards you want, lot of tossers out there.

Cheers, D.

f**k that, if you are employing then employ a “booby girl” with giant great tits......dont matter if she can read or write, add up, spell her own name......much better than some theatre going gardening fanatic who only eats lettuce and probably is as ugly as f***ing sin ! 

[Shovel shy 4,032]

When I last updated my cv with the job centre place,I put down hunting and fishing as hobbies..they changed it to OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES. Had to argue with the little cnut to change it.which he did but I had to go through his supervisor. Wnkers

[myersbg 1,355]

Worked for over 40yrs never had a cv, when i was in the building game and started for firms some would say you can start on 3 months trial, i uused to say " no chance, you will know by the end of the day if you want to keep me and iwill know if i want to stop " i have never been out of work.

[forest of dean redneck 11,191]

2 hours ago, walshie said:

These people seem to think you have to be a pasty faced weedy veggie to be an animal lover. I'm an animal lover and I looooove meat. 

I love mine in gravy

[ChrisJones 7,973]

2 hours ago, Jonjon79 said:

The rest of the CV is actually pretty good - it's just that curve ball at the end.

 

I imagine she won't like me putting rabbits and pigeons in the fridge when I've been out before work.

Ask her if because vegetarian is listed as a hobby does that mean she's just f*ck*ng around with it? Before you offer the rabbit and squirrel dish.

[Jonjon79 13,340]

9 hours ago, WILF said:

f**k that, if you are employing then employ a “booby girl” with giant great tits......dont matter if she can read or write, add up, spell her own name......much better than some theatre going gardening fanatic who only eats lettuce and probably is as ugly as f***ing sin ! 

See, that's the thing, I couldn't give a monkeys what her tits look like or how she performs with golf balls and garden hose - I need someone that can do my job when I'm not here, keep the rest of the team in check, think for themselves and, most importantly, get results

 

 

[walshie 2,804]

4 minutes ago, Jonjon79 said:

See, that's the thing, I couldn't give a monkeys what her tits look like or how she performs with golf balls and garden hose - I need someone that can do my job when I'm not here, keep the rest of the team in check, think for themselves and, most importantly, get results

 

 

But if you had 2 suitably qualified applicants that could do the job and one had big tits, who would you go for?

[Jonjon79 13,340]

25 minutes ago, walshie said:

But if you had 2 suitably qualified applicants that could do the job and one had big tits, who would you go for?

The one with the tits of course

....... If she's capable of doing the job and has big tits, that's a bonus

[EDDIE B 3,120]

35 minutes ago, Jonjon79 said:

See, that's the thing, I couldn't give a monkeys what her tits look like or how she performs with golf balls and garden hose - I need someone that can do my job when I'm not here, keep the rest of the team in check, think for themselves and, most importantly, get results

 

 

How the f**k could you expect her to sit around all day scratching her balls. Impossible task for a woman!

[Jonjon79 13,340]

29 minutes ago, John d said:

What job is it?

Assistant Manager of a DIY type shop.

[tatsblisters 7,956]

Drop your C.V. in has now become the most common saying even for unskilled low paid jobs.