Haiddheliwr 1,911 Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 PMSL EXCELLENT nan's pat Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nans pat 2,575 Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 I'm hosting a charity event for people that can't orgasm, If you cant come,let me know. they sent me an invite for the premature ejaculation anual doo/ formal dress,just come in your pants. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dytkos 17,927 Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 Why do pakis smell? So blind people can hate them as well, Cheers, D. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DIDO.1 22,862 Posted August 28, 2016 Report Share Posted August 28, 2016 Why did Romans build straight roads? So Paki's couldn't build corner shops. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Gain 1,764 Posted August 29, 2016 Report Share Posted August 29, 2016 The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted August 29, 2016 Report Share Posted August 29, 2016 My girlfriend came home with a book called "Cheap and Easy Vegetarian Cooking". Which was nice, because not only is she a vegetarian.... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nans pat 2,575 Posted August 29, 2016 Report Share Posted August 29, 2016 wee man sitting on a towel on the beach. poor sod had no arm or legs, 3 good looking birds walking past were looking feeling sorry for him, 1st one said,ever had a hug,he sez no,so she hugged him. 2nd won says ever had a kiss.no sez he,so she kisses him. 3rd one says ever been f****d,hes getting himself all worked up now.no,no,he sez. yer woman sez,you will be when that fuxxing tide comes in. 4 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neil cooney 10,416 Posted August 29, 2016 Report Share Posted August 29, 2016 I'll never forget my grandfathers last words before he died...."stop shaking the ladder you c#nt" Good one, if I could have one wish in life it's to die in my sleep like my grandfather did. Not screaming and roaring like his passengers. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Gain 1,764 Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 Murphy goes to his friend Pat and says ... "I'm sleeping with the Pastor's wife.Can you hold him in church for an hour after services for me.” Pat doesn't like it but, being Murphy's longtime friend, he agrees. After service,he starts talking to the Pastor, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the Pastor gets annoyed and asks Pat what he's really up to. Pat, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the Pastor. "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied." The Pastor smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Pat's shoulder and says... "You better hurry home. My wife died two years ago." 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mister Gain 1,764 Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 What's the worst thing that could happen on an Islamic first date?Premature detonation. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 What's the difference between a refugee and a terrorist ? I don't know, I just build the fence ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 Following the attempted Turkish coup last month, President Erdogan declared martial law and a curfew - no civilians on the streets after 9pm. Strictly enforced ! Two soldiers are at their checkpoint, when they see a man crossing the road in the distance. One soldier raises his rifle, and kills the man with a single shot. His colleague says "What the hell are you doing ? It's only 8.45 !!" The first soldier says "I know where he lives - he'd never have made it !" 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 12,022 Posted August 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 Walked into local bar asked if they done cash back ? Bartender said yes we do I said great can I have the £50 back I spent in here last night the wife's going mental over it. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 I'll never forget my grandfathers last words before he died...."stop shaking the ladder you c#nt" Good one, if I could have one wish in life it's to die in my sleep like my grandfather did.Not screaming and roaring like his passengers. With my grandfather it was the drink that killed him... He was run over by a Guinness wagon.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
neil cooney 10,416 Posted August 30, 2016 Report Share Posted August 30, 2016 Good one Malt, I thought for a second there you were going to tell the old one about how a mans grandfather died from the drink. He drowned in a large tank full of Guinness. The rescuers kept pulling him out but after the 5th time of getting back in they said to leave him there. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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