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7 minutes ago, jukel123 said:

I can keep this secret no longer. I was called to act as witness, referee and banker to the showdown between Katchum and wild Bill. The purse was three quid, neither of the two c**ts had any money so I had to lend them £1.50  each which I kept safely in my pocket. I asked both men if they were ready to fight. The fight went something like this.

 Bill.....Ya ta fi hybrid c**t fi jukel, (commee c**t). have at ye  ye scotch yorkshire bender.

Katch. I'll bottle ye with a bottle of Buckie ye English twat that  ye are.

Bill circled Katch with a murderous glint in his one remaining eye (he's kept that quiet, out of sheer frustration, his old spelling teacher had poked him in the left peeper with his ballpoint pen and bribed him to stay stum. 

At this point Katchum's kelpie appeared. 'Look at ta skinny yousless piece of fi hybrid shite' spat Bill.

The proceedings began to look ugly. Katchum had gone from red in the face to white. His pup's honour was at stake. He rushed at Bill and managed to connect with an extremely limp wrist. Bill swore. "ya twat, ya fa fi hybrid vigour c**t i'll muller ye fi hybrid.

At this point Katchum's Mrs came out and ordered Katchum in the house. Katchum slunk away trying not to catch my eye. Mrs Katchum then approached wild Bill and nutted him squarely on the nose. Bill managed to whisper "ya fi ta fi hybrid" and collapsed into unconsciousness. His bad eye stared at me grotesquely. Little did I know he was as good as dead, for within seconds Mrs Katchum jumped into a tractor loaded Bill onto the front loader and dumped him into  a slurry pit.

"That's the fifth one this month" she spat at me.  He's forever picking fights on the internet. You keep your b*****d  mouth shut, you decrepit smelly old c**t or you'll end up in that slurry pit along with the rest.

" Madam" I said. " I am 70 years old, please speak to me respectfully. She kicked me in the balls, viciously. Not a bad pair she said, a lot bigger that Katchum's. "You flatter me Mrs". Mrs Katch interrupted. " Why don't you f**k off to the graveyard ya old skeleton. Just f**k off and keep your mouth shut or else I'm coming for you"

You will understand fellow THL members. I was extremely upset. I have thought about my position for some time and decided to grass the Katchums up. I have therefore instructed plod to search a certain Yorkshire slurry pit. This is the last you will hear from me or Katch for some time. Katch will dining on english porridge and I am leaving the country in case Mrs Katch escapes and comes looking for me. Goodbye.

Pissed meself reading that

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8 minutes ago, jukel123 said:

I can keep this secret no longer. I was called to act as witness, referee and banker to the showdown between Katchum and wild Bill. The purse was three quid, neither of the two c**ts had any money so I had to lend them £1.50  each which I kept safely in my pocket. I asked both men if they were ready to fight. The fight went something like this.

 Bill.....Ya ta fi hybrid c**t fi jukel, (commee c**t). have at ye  ye scotch yorkshire bender.

Katch. I'll bottle ye with a bottle of Buckie ye English twat that  ye are.

Bill circled Katch with a murderous glint in his one remaining eye (he's kept that quiet, out of sheer frustration, his old spelling teacher had poked him in the left peeper with his ballpoint pen and bribed him to stay stum. 

At this point Katchum's kelpie appeared. 'Look at ta skinny yousless piece of fi hybrid shite' spat Bill.

The proceedings began to look ugly. Katchum had gone from red in the face to white. His pup's honour was at stake. He rushed at Bill and managed to connect with an extremely limp wrist. Bill swore. "ya twat, ya fa fi hybrid vigour c**t i'll muller ye fi hybrid.

At this point Katchum's Mrs came out and ordered Katchum in the house. Katchum slunk away trying not to catch my eye. Mrs Katchum then approached wild Bill and nutted him squarely on the nose. Bill managed to whisper "ya fi ta fi hybrid" and collapsed into unconsciousness. His bad eye stared at me grotesquely. Little did I know he was as good as dead, for within seconds Mrs Katchum jumped into a tractor loaded Bill onto the front loader and dumped him into  a slurry pit.

"That's the fifth one this month" she spat at me.  He's forever picking fights on the internet. You keep your b*****d  mouth shut, you decrepit smelly old c**t or you'll end up in that slurry pit along with the rest.

" Madam" I said. " I am 70 years old, please speak to me respectfully. She kicked me in the balls, viciously. Not a bad pair she said, a lot bigger that Katchum's. "You flatter me Mrs". Mrs Katch interrupted. " Why don't you f**k off to the graveyard ya old skeleton. Just f**k off and keep your mouth shut or else I'm coming for you"

You will understand fellow THL members. I was extremely upset. I have thought about my position for some time and decided to grass the Katchums up. I have therefore instructed plod to search a certain Yorkshire slurry pit. This is the last you will hear from me or Katch for some time. Katch will dining on english porridge and I am leaving the country in case Mrs Katch escapes and comes looking for me. Goodbye.

I thought that's what had happened 

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Yes very good mate, could we have another thl Ramblestory ?

Cheers, D.

  • Confused 1

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14 minutes ago, jukel123 said:

I can keep this secret no longer. I was called to act as witness, referee and banker to the showdown between Katchum and wild Bill. The purse was three quid, neither of the two c**ts had any money so I had to lend them £1.50  each which I kept safely in my pocket. I asked both men if they were ready to fight. The fight went something like this.

 Bill.....Ya ta fi hybrid c**t fi jukel, (commee c**t). have at ye  ye scotch yorkshire bender.

Katch. I'll bottle ye with a bottle of Buckie ye English twat that  ye are.

Bill circled Katch with a murderous glint in his one remaining eye (he's kept that quiet, out of sheer frustration, his old spelling teacher had poked him in the left peeper with his ballpoint pen and bribed him to stay stum. 

At this point Katchum's kelpie appeared. 'Look at ta skinny yousless piece of fi hybrid shite' spat Bill.

The proceedings began to look ugly. Katchum had gone from red in the face to white. His pup's honour was at stake. He rushed at Bill and managed to connect with an extremely limp wrist. Bill swore. "ya twat, ya fa fi hybrid vigour c**t i'll muller ye fi hybrid.

At this point Katchum's Mrs came out and ordered Katchum in the house. Katchum slunk away trying not to catch my eye. Mrs Katchum then approached wild Bill and nutted him squarely on the nose. Bill managed to whisper "ya fi ta fi hybrid" and collapsed into unconsciousness. His bad eye stared at me grotesquely. Little did I know he was as good as dead, for within seconds Mrs Katchum jumped into a tractor loaded Bill onto the front loader and dumped him into  a slurry pit.

"That's the fifth one this month" she spat at me.  He's forever picking fights on the internet. You keep your b*****d  mouth shut, you decrepit smelly old c**t or you'll end up in that slurry pit along with the rest.

" Madam" I said. " I am 70 years old, please speak to me respectfully. She kicked me in the balls, viciously. Not a bad pair she said, a lot bigger that Katchum's. "You flatter me Mrs". Mrs Katch interrupted. " Why don't you f**k off to the graveyard ya old skeleton. Just f**k off and keep your mouth shut or else I'm coming for you"

You will understand fellow THL members. I was extremely upset. I have thought about my position for some time and decided to grass the Katchums up. I have therefore instructed plod to search a certain Yorkshire slurry pit. This is the last you will hear from me or Katch for some time. Katch will dining on english porridge and I am leaving the country in case Mrs Katch escapes and comes looking for me. Goodbye.

Hope you asked them both on numeral occasions if they wanted to shake hands mate boys 🤣

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6 minutes ago, poxon said:

Hope you asked them both on numeral occasions if they wanted to shake hands mate boys 🤣

More chance of them touching japs eyes 

  • Haha 1

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