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A MONTANA COWBOY, A NATIVE AMERICAN AND A MUSLIM ARE WAITING FOR THEIR PLANE IN A SMALL MONTANA AIRPORT. THE MONTANA COWBOY LEANS BACK IN HIS CHAIR, CROSSES HIS BOOTS ON A MAGAZINE TABLE AND TIPS

I looked out of my living room window tonight and a saw a black man riding a bike................I thought b@stard that looks just like  mine, so I shot off into the garage to double check..........Ph

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Katie Price says her first two recipes on Celebrity Masterchef will be inspired by her personal life. For starters, there's the Caribbean sausage in cider. Followed by extra thick black pudding.

 

In order to make Katie Price feel right at home on the set of Celebrity Masterchef. The judges will be flinging most of her food up the walls.

Cheers, D.

 

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What's the difference between George Best and Princess Diana's chauffeur?

Best could take corners when he was pissed.

 

 

The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits. She's got a point, I suppose... I work in a hammer factory.

Cheers, D.

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I tried to play frisbee with my dog at the park this morning. It was useless. I think I need a flatter dog. 

 

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her f***ing appendix out!"

Cheers, D.

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