Funny Joke Thread

[Foxpack 2 7,848]

[jetro 5,349]

While installing a new door, I found one of the hinges missing. I asked  my wife if she would go to Home Depot to pick one up. She said she  would.

While waiting for the Manager to finish serving another customer,  her eye caught two beautiful bathroom faucets - one for the sink and one  for the bath tub.

When the Manager was ready to help my wife, she asked, "How much are those faucets?"

The Manager replied, "They are gold plated faucets and very  expensive! $5,000 each!" Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, they are really  expensive - certainly out of my price range!" She then proceeded to  describe the hinge I had sent her to buy.
 
The Manager said he had them in stock and their price was $3.49. He went to the backroom to get them.

From the backroom, the Manager yelled, "Ma'am, you wanna screw for the hinge?"
 

Mary shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucets."

This is why you should think twice about sending your wife to Home Depot...

[jetro 5,349]

[dytkos 17,536]

Cheers, D.

 

[Arry 18,610]

Cheers Arry

[jetro 5,349]

A Texas Highway Patrol Officer was conducting speeding enforcement on Hwy 77, just south of Kingsville, TX.

The officer was using a handheld radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching the town of Kingsville and was suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour and climbing.

The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and then... It suddenly went dead.
Immediately a deafening roar over the Mesquite treetops on Hwy 77 revealed that the radar had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low-flying exercise near it's Naval Air home base location in Kingsville.

Back at the Texas Highway Patrol Headquarters in Corpus Christi, the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the US Naval Base Commander in Kingsville for shutting down his officer's equipment. The reply came back in true USMC style:

"Thank you for your letter....
You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it, which is why it shut down.
Furthermore, an Air-to-Ground missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment's location.

Fortunately, the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched to destroy the hostile radar position on the side of Hwy 77, south of Kingsville.

The pilot suggests your officer covers his mouth when cursing since the video systems on these jets are extremely high-tech.

Sergeant Johnson, the officer holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster."

Semper Fi

[bob.243 7,540]

After 75 years!

[Chid 6,377]

[TheShootingTog 2,211]

[JDHUNTING 1,817]

6 hours ago, bob.243 said:

After 75 years!

Not all that different.

[jetro 5,349]

[Arry 18,610]

Cheers Arry

[Mickey Finn 2,710]

[Mickey Finn 2,710]

6 hours ago, JDHUNTING said:

Not all that different.

Speak for yourself. lol

[Mickey Finn 2,710]