jukel123
-
Content Count
7,920 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
18
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Gallery
Articles
Gun Dealer's and Fieldsports Shop's
Reloading Room
Blogs
Calendar
Store
Classifieds
Everything posted by jukel123
-
I used to work for a building company. The owner was a really decent bloke. Paid top dollar and, unless you took the piss was very easy going . He did us lots of favours and in return we grafted away without supervision. So his son fresh from uni with a Micky Mouse degree joins the firm. He decided he would fix what wasn't broken. His big idea was to introduce a clocking on machine. " To improve efficiency ." The first week it was kicked off its fixings. Only to be re_fixed. The second week it was placed in a barrel of water and was rendered knackered. A n
-
This is a tricky one. Try the following.... 1) A daily and not six monthly shower. 2) Capturing snot in a clean handkerchief and not blowing it with one finger onto the hospital floor . 3) (And this is crucial.) Stop exposing your genitalia to passing nurses and inviting them to perform sex acts on your unwashed penis. 4) Do not wear your prominent love heart pendant featuring your favourite sheep around your neck. 5) Try to not shout lewd or racist remarks at passing hospital staff. Worked for me bud. Hope this helps.
-
https://youtu.be/CjM89wRMY9I?si=Ie4f8Bo5L9RCXgN-
-
Believe this if you will . When our club go off to fish different rivers in Scotland my friend and I always share a hotel room. He's a multimillionaire who owns thousands of acres. His former school is Eton. He spent his early years in a state school, thinks most Etonites are areseholes and prefers the companionship of ordinary blokes. We have the occasional tiff about politics but mostly we talk about fishing , family and sport. We fell out once. He asked me if I wanted to clean his windows as he didn't trust anyone snooping around his house. I was short with him and asked
-
Thanks for the offer Mac. But by the time I've emptied my colostomy bag and pee bag, and received electric shock therapy to start my heart, the day would be over. Tbh, I don't travel well and prefer my home patch. Anyway, are you sure you could handle my quoting Marx and Mao on my soapbox all day?. You would throw me in the river.
-
Geez. That's fantastic mate. Brilliant!
-
Unfortunately, you've got to live near the river and pick your conditions. Then you can haunt the river until your luck turns. I don't really believe in luck. It's just persistence and conditions. When you are retired, you'll get one. You will be free to go at the right time.
-
We get them in May/ June.
-
I have a particular favourite. Black dwarves, lesbian humpbacks and necrophiliac society. A deeply deserving and much misunderstood minority. I'll make sure they each thank you in person by calling on you. God bless.
-
Another mate, taken in the olden days. We caught these ses trout between us. Fished all night and then went to work. Oh to be young again. I got all the big uns of course. When we split the money. It was a week's wages apiece.
-
Sounds like he deserves it.
-
That's a weird one. Had he a grudge?
-
A friend , a wind up merchant, just sent me this photo from God knows how many years back. You can see by the style of car it was way back. He asked me if I remembered the day of the photo? I said I didn't but I do. That day haunts me. It was one of those crazy days when fish were all over the place. Everybody caught at least two fish. Many were over 20 lbs. The big one in the photo was 24 lb. I got a big fat zilch. Everybody left the river and went home, but I soldiered on. Nowt. The cat was booted into space when I got home. On the other hand in 2012
- 16 replies
-
- 10
-
-
-
I get them all the time. I cut them short by saying" I'm a vulnerable pensioner, let's cut the crap I'll just give my bank details now shall I?" Had a bloke call me one day in a heavy Asian accent telling me to check my computer. I told him to f**k off and he damn near cried laughing . It was my son. I have a mate who was really ill at one point. He got a call from an Asian bloke. He gave him short shrift and told him to f**k off. Asian rang again. "Hello, this is your GP." It was. Embarrassment wasn't the word.
-
It was a good night bud. Keith did have to be pulled away from those doggers we came across. But after that he was sound. Fitter than that saluki I'm still looking for.
-
I was with him. Here's your proof.
-
Thankfully I am fluent in Jockspeak. And I understand you are making a particularly penetrative observation. Namely , that terriers will give tongue if allowed to chase. I have considered your contribution to the thread in enormous detail and would offer the following. Being an empathetic sort, I will deliver it your own language. Aye, you f****n divvy. That's how we divnae f****n use them as lurchers ffs. Their legs are too f****n wee, ya bawbag. They get frustratet and stairt their greeting noise cuz they cannae catch up. You'd be shiting small if ye relied on a terrier tae fill y
-
Lots of these songs were recorded by Lomax https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSkeSWIxVtKRzNent2rnIrW0VNngfjTT-&si=raV95nTL__4qwBND
-
It's all theoretical. I know. I don't trust any government to spend money sensibly.
-
I'm all for utilitarianism: the greatest happiness for the greatest number. If you miss out on that principle ..tough. It's estimated that in Scotland you could take 300000 children out of poverty by imposing a 2% tax on taxpayers earning over 10 million per annum. It's a no brainer but poor people will say that's not fair! f**k off, whether it's fair .
-
I actually agree with you now. I'm having a breakdown. My head is scrambled. Damn you, you intrepid debater.
-
And another thing. Cousins should not be allowed to have children. Shag if they want to I guess. But not children. There are too many handicapped children being born to such marriages. It's too much of a risk imo.
-
They should be forced to enter the 21st century. The bill contains provisions for more punishment for coercively arranged marriages and 'honour' killings too. Sieg hiel
-
Reported for gross insensitivity to a pensioner. Just let me ramble on and don't upset me by disagreeing .
-
I used to get a lot of stick for refusing to stand for the anthem. I wasn't making a victim , look at me, rebel stance. I just didn't support the royal family. My choice. Leave me alone. Thankfully the anthem has virtually died out now.
