Upper middle class problems thread

[DIDO.1 20,892]

Don't laugh. 

We have now got a cleaner.

After the Mrs bout of illness last year she's now firing on all cylinders and working flat out. Works in the community with terminally ill folk plus runs her own little business. Anyway the house gets a bit messy what with me working part time and spending so much time out fishing, shooting and buying shite for my shed. 

So the Mrs has asked on Facebook for recommendations of cleaners. I'm imagining a little fit piece, tight uniform, feather duster, bobs your uncle. 

What we have got is a middle age harridan who turns up with no uniform and fck all cleaning equipment. Turns out she runs a failing local dump of a pub and needs the money to make ends meet. The Mrs, being a mouth on legs, asks her about her problems, husbands an alcoholic, can't pay the bills etc. She was supposed to be here 2 hours, spends 1 of em crying sat on the couch. Still wants paying for two like. 

Mrs won't sack her because she feels sorry for her. House doesn't look any cleaner. 

How does everyone else deal with wayward domestic servants??

 

[waltjnr 5,972]

Count your bayonets ,she'll thieve off you aswell ,polish one iron cross and pocket the next one !

[Daniel cain 42,893]

I stops her money until she pulls her f***ing fingers out

[lurcherman 887 12,685]

Does she offer “other services”

[DIDO.1 20,892]

20 minutes ago, lurcherman 887 said:

Does she offer “other services”

You wouldn't want any other services off her

 

[waltjnr 5,972]

23 minutes ago, lurcherman 887 said:

Does she offer “other services”

Trust you ! 

[waltjnr 5,972]

25 minutes ago, lurcherman 887 said:

Does she offer “other services”

She won't cart all your gear round the ress ! 

[keepdiggin 9,223]

“The gamekeeper and the cleaner” coming to a porn site near you!

[Bush Rummager 3,767]

21 minutes ago, DIDO.1 said:

You wouldn't want any other services off her

 

They're all the same mate down on all four's with their arse stuck up in the air!

[DIDO.1 20,892]

5 minutes ago, Bush Rummager said:

They're all the same mate down on all four's with their arse stuck up in the air!

Fckin hell I'm asking for serious advice on managing domestic servants and employing serious staff to assist with my high pressure fast paced lifestyle. All you lot can think about is what extra services you could get. 

[Stavross 13,778]

I keep it in the family, and employ the mother-in-law, she comes every Friday, it’s amazing what a 70 year old can get done in a couple of hours, it’s a pleasure to come home on a Friday afternoon, she’s worth every penny of the 25 quid wages ( gave her a fiver, pay rise because of the cost of living crisis) 

[Welsh_red 4,309]

Tell your Mrs she's being all flirty with you .  Then day or two later Mrs will bin her 

[DIDO.1 20,892]

1 minute ago, Welsh_red said:

Tell your Mrs she's being all flirty with you .  Then day or two later Mrs will bin her 

Flirting...the big fat cnut sits crying on the couch or smoking and playing with her phone at the back door. Even the Mrs wouldn't buy that. 

You lot are no help.

@Stavross your mother in law want a few extra hours?

[Qbgrey 3,987]

Fukin nightmare, I had a mate do my garden 1 day a week, slow as, then he said he can’t do weeding, or digging flower beds etc cause his back hurts. His pruning was cutting a straight line threw any plant/ bush,shrub. £600 a month ffs.  Told him I may as well do it myself .

[BGD 6,385]

Amateur mistake hiring a Brit, you're supposed to get an illegal in so you can threaten to report them to the Home Office and get them deported if the work isn't up to scratch.