How socialty has changed

[South hams hunter 8,986]

7 minutes ago, sid g said:

my old man had a sister and 4 brothers my mum had 7 brothers and 5 sisters ---- i`ve got an aunt who is a year younger than me .. i had a brother and a sister and we stopped at 3 the mrs would of had more ,,, 

A family in the area I grew up in was like that. Lad a few years younger than us you to knock about with us as 4 of the 7/8 nephews he had that where older then him did also. He was the baby of 6 or 7 (30 years younger nearly than the eldest) and most of them had 3/4/5

[dogmandont 10,060]

1 hour ago, Blackmag said:

I was wondering today how many of you lads have family's as big as your parents because to me it may be financial or career minded but family's don't seem as big or as close as say 30 years ago 

Im from a family of 8 siblings, my father a family of 10, I have 3 and it's plenty. Lol. 

[pesky1972 5,634]

Been interesting reading this, some very good observations. Agree with the point Wilf makes on ‘debt slaves’, that’s a big change over the last couple of generations. Average UK household debt of around £60k? I’d guess the oldies don’t owe much, and it’s likely that the average couple starting a family is servicing debt of maybe £200-400k. That’s a lot of interest kicking back..., and a big chunk of household income, something that simply didn’t exist 40 or 50 years ago, when a lot of us were growing up. We’ve been sold a dream that ‘living’ is getting on the property ladder (fcuking despise that phrase), owning a shiny, preferably German built motor, and going a foreign holiday once a year. For some folks, raising healthy, educated and well rounded kids is somewhere behind all that other shit on the list.

That said though, I think there are, and have always been, good parents and then some less good, regardless of the times. The impact debt has had on families is on numbers. The only people who seem able to afford more big families are celebrities, and those who get the state to pick up the tab.

 

[pesky1972 5,634]

Another point about debt, and the attitude (aka conditioning) younger folks have to it. Something that typified it for me..., two young lads I was working with maybe 15 years ago..., typical lads, into motors, showing off to birds etc. reading the papers and one sees an ad for a garage selling performance cars - “with finance available”. Says “there’s a Lamborghini here, and I can afford the payments (most of his wages for the next 5+ years)..,  I’m going to ring them and go round for a look”.

Me: you’re not serious?

Him: I am

Me: but you still live with your mum ffs!!!

Him: yes, but you only live once

Lad wasn’t 15 years younger than me, but it was at that point I realised just how much things have changed.

I haven’t had tick on a motor (or my missus who also has a car) since 1999..., and owe not a penny to anyone outside our mortgage. If we can’t afford it, we simply don’t buy it.

Edited December 10, 2020 by pesky1972

[South hams hunter 8,986]

8 hours ago, sid g said:

they had 2 houses knocked together well an opening between the 2 upstairs and downstairs and the front n back doors on one bricked up  the garden was massive my grandad had a massive veg plot chickens , and reared a few pigs he used to fish and pike was often on the menu  he worked in the wages dept of a local firm my nan never worked ... had some crackin hols he used to hire a bus and we`d head of to skeg camping kids grandkids dogs bus full of food fishing gear the works happy times ... 

That does sound good mate. 

[Arry 24,719]

Debt is one of the big differences in the young generation and oldies imo, people don't seem bothered with these days. I have a loan twice apart from a mortgage which we struggled to pay. One loan because I was self employed and had a tumour on my guts (lucky it was benign) that had to be removed, no sick pay. Then another loan to pay off a tax bill because of the recession where the buildings all but collapsed, went from good money to crap tax payable on the good years. Debt was a mill stone around our neck and dragged us down till I managed to pay it off. I hear it said sometimes that old people had and still have it easy. I think we planed ahead more we took out an endowment policy long before we bought a house, never had any thing on tick. Little private jobs, cut wood (logs)for heating, shot foxes for the pelts and caught and sold rabbits all to make ends meet. No living for today having a nice car. Many a time out laying in the gutter at the road side out side home with a torch car jacked up trying to fix the car or trying to put the exhaust pipe back on so I could go to work the next day. Can laugh about all now but then well that was then.

Cheers Arry

[Accip74 7,112]

14 hours ago, foxdropper said:

Agreed on the discipline mate but the threat of a whack is more powerful than the act .

I’m sure you are right mate, but I haven’t resorted to either yet with good results & I’m quite proud of that.

[Greyman 31,440]

10 hours ago, Blackmag said:

I was wondering today how many of you lads have family's as big as your parents because to me it may be financial or career minded but family's don't seem as big or as close as say 30 years ago 

I have exactly the same as my parents both in numbers and gender, but I had my children very young and struggled massively financially bringing them up and buying a home etc so I stopped but in a lot of ways I wish I had gone on and had a lot more as life got easier and we become more financially secure, my best friend at school had 21 in his family, mum dad and 19 kids and there was another family on our estate that had slightly more, I now have grandchildren that I see nearly every day so the tribe is still growing

[Squirrel_Basher 17,102]

Our parents generation had higher child mortality than we had ,hence larger families .

My Dad was one of 8 ,two of his siblings died before they were 10 of maladies no longer a threat .

 

[jetro 5,349]

Two neighbours here, 16 in one family and 17 in the other, the average was 12 to 14, now it's 2s and 3s is the average. 

Atb j 

[pesky1972 5,634]

2 hours ago, Greyman said:

my best friend at school had 21 in his family, mum dad and 19 kids and there was another family on our estate that had slightly more

See, I don’t see how anyone can afford to keep 19 kids properly fed and in clobber, without winning the lottery. And if they’re out working 24/7 to pay for them, then how can they also be there as parents? 

I’m a believer in the welfare state, but there’s a lot take the piss. People paying fcuk all in ever, and only taking out. A lifestyle choice rather than it being an emergency fund for those down on their luck. Needs an overhaul imho.

[gnasher16 31,379]

15 hours ago, Blackmag said:

I was wondering today how many of you lads have family's as big as your parents because to me it may be financial or career minded but family's don't seem as big or as close as say 30 years ago 

I agree on both points im one of three but only had 2 kids myself and none of our family from top to bottom are close....to some people thats probably a bit sad but in the area we came from im not sure many of my pals were close with their parents/siblings either...the East End of London for not particularly well educated young men back then was very different to what it is now and you had to do whatever it took if you wanted more than just a shitty life working down Fords or Smithfields and that probably took its toll within family life....parents tended to wash their hands of you once you reached school leaving age and so your bonds and ties were to friends rather than family which is something myself and many friends of mine have tried to re - learn as we get older and make the effort to get back closer to family.....just different times i suppose.

Edited December 10, 2020 by gnasher16