When You Don,t Get O N With Your Son??

[Guest foxpack]

MY son,,tried everything ,,,he got that bad,put in in care for few weeks to teach him a leason,,,,,comes back ,,straight away .money and cans of beer goes missing,,try talking to him ,,he does 1???..other kids younger than him,,his siblings ,suffer,,,what do you do??

[nans pat 2,575]

what age is he

[neil82 1,088]

your choice is, either use psychological warfare using subtle hints or cut him off and send him out into the real world, that or enter the world that a lot of us grew up in when respect was taught and give the little scrote a hiding (I expect a lot of stick over this so bring it on)

[neems 2,406]

How old is your lad?

 

I fell out with my dad and ended out moving out at 14,it was much too young and I had a bad time at first,I couldn't imagine putting any of my kids in care.

 

As for giving him a smack,that's fine for young kids but at about 13 when he's a young man and not a child anymore its not going to end well.

[bracken boy 584]

if theres no respect i say bye bye on ur way. harsh maybe.

[JDHUNTING 1,817]

Id say nickin a few cans and a bit of money aint worth losing your son over, let him no youll never give up on him an keep tryin.

Edited November 23, 2013 by JDHUNTING

[unlacedgecko 1,467]

I fell out with my father when i was 16. I havent spoken a word to him since and im 28 now. Nothing will change that. If you go down the route of cutting him off be prepared for it to be forever.

[albert64 1,882]

I take it you tried everything in your power to sort it out before you put him into care ?

 

but there has to be some underlying reason why he's doing what he's doing

 

drugs, gambling, drink, have you always been there for him

have you sat down and had a heart to heart with him and asked him why he's doing what he's doing

 

the threat of a good hiding is one thing but carrying it out is another

because once you raise your hand you've lost, he'll have no fear of you or respect for you

 

some kids seem to have a self destruct button no matter what you do for them

a thief you can hide things from a lier you'll never get to the bottom of

but you cant cast him out at 13/14 mate he might get in a world of shit and you'd never forgive yourself

but if he's still doing it in a couple of years then he's big enough and old enough to stand on his own two feet

[j j m 6,626]

try to spend a bit more time with him bye that i mean just you and him and try to find out what is making him do the things hes doing,and depending on his age it might just be a faze he is going through im sure if you bothe work together you will bothe end up ok good luck

[scothunter 12,609]

most lads grow out of there rebellious streak.tread carefully mate,what you do now will affect your relationship with him for years to come.im gonn take a guess and say he is a teenager.no offence by this and dont take it the wrong the way,but being put in a home to teach me a lesson,that would bother me and certainly sow the seeds of contempt towards my parents.

im a firm believer in,you want kids,then you deal with all that comes with that.

[marshman 7,758]

I was gonna say "have you tried talking to him and let him know you've got hes back " but you'll probably say that you've tried it and its nothing worked . I would say hes feeling hurt about being put in a home lol. If you can build bridges and trust then that might lead to getting respect and who knows maybe love !

[*The*Field*Marshall* 674]

Whatever you do think fast and act quickly. . Time steals what you cannot take back. . As already said, behaviours are only the symptoms of the problem. . Observe, refrain, ask questions to try and uncover what the issue is. . You may need to change your approach and maybe change your perception or point if view. . All the best, keep us posted.

[Wxm 1,638]

MY son,,tried everything ,,,he got that bad,put in in care for few weeks to teach him a leason,,,,,comes back ,,straight away .money and cans of beer goes missing,,try talking to him ,,he does 1???..other kids younger than him,,his siblings ,suffer,,,what do you do??

 

im not sure how you can get anyone to suggest what you should and shouldnt do with only knowing 2 lines???

 

How old is he?

What caused him to go off the rails?

Are you any what to blame?

Do you need to change before you expect him to change?

 

I didnt see my dad from about 1 till 16 / 17, due to moving around (been in 20+ houses in 26 years), i've seen / been in contact with him abit more in the last 5 / 6 years. i dont blame him assuch but maybe he ould have done more, i blame my mum as i belive the only thing that she had to hurt him was me and this is why i didnt get to see him.

 

from the age of 16ish i knew where he lived but didnt have the balls to do anything about it an i regret not doing anything now as i've wasted time on knowing him.

 

moral of the story is your a long time dead dont dont do now what you'll regret later

[Astanley 11,672]

You don't give many details ( and understandably so ) but heres my twopence worth with what youv given us to go on .

Firstly , you put kids in care because you cant cope , when youv exhausted every other avenue , when its in the childs interest to be moved away from the home environment , NOT " to teach them a lesson "

Secondly Its interesting that you say his behaviour is so bad , you could of give lots of examples of this I suppose , yetyou chose to mention him stealing your beer !!!

 

Have a look at yourself mate ,the kids mixed up he needs you to help him , guide him , show him love , not just punish him .

[bird 10,014]

most lads grow out of there rebellious streak.tread carefully mate,what you do now will affect your relationship with him for years to come.im gonn take a guess and say he is a teenager.no offence by this and dont take it the wrong the way,but being put in a home to teach me a lesson,that would bother me and certainly sow the seeds of contempt towards my parents.

im a firm believer in,you want kids,then you deal with all that comes with that.

 

fair point that, i never got on with my old man. he never was boozer, or knocking lots of women off, he didnt drink much at all and only had couple girls before he met my mom. where as i was alot differnt, used to go out friday night and come back home monday night, got pissed loads of times, wake up with some fecker next day. got done for drink driving, bust into shop,fighting all when pissed .Many time my old man kicked me out,and put few into me when i was pissed.Looking back now and married+ with my son, i can under stand my old man not liking the way i used live, it was his house his rules, and i was 23 years old, i should have fecked off and lived on my own, but didnt because i knew deep down with out them behind me, i would have ened up in jail or dead. my lad went through bit of boozy time and bit of shaging lol, but came out of it and met real nice girl, who he is going to marry next june, we all grow up at diffenr times that the bottm line mate.