stewie 3,387 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 All good fun Stewie. I always say, you know your one of the lads when they start ripping the pish out of you. Take it as a compliment i never took offence ya twat lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,211 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Newkid ran to give stig a hand ( he'd been after a chesterfield for a while), Tomo's hairy physique had been mistaking for yet another critter, by the now out of control mini lurcher, and he was quickly brought down, luckily he had a spare fairy cake in his pocket, he jammed it into the dogs mouth and the over sticky icing cemented the mouth shut... The wildlife could now breathe a sigh of relief... In the distance a potting boat was seen slowly making its way down the river, lobster pots hung all around, with both lobsters and pheasants stacked high on ice...and the most beautiful lurchers ever seen stood proud up the front... Surely this couldn't be... Could it... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 while everyone was fishing, Stewie started looking to see what scrap he could find.... Alloy wheeled cars were soon balancing on bricks. Wilfs split shot box was weighed in. He went too far when he stole one of socks grenade pins thinking it was brass, with a quick flick of his over used right wrist, Stewie launched the grenade in the direction of gnashers shed...... BOOM!!! a mighty explosion followed by tin sheeting filling the sky. Out of the cloud of smoke walked a soot covered Gnasher, sun glasses bent, hair on end he headed straight for Stewie. Stewie seeing the danger began frantically pleading to wilf to protect him. But wilf just started talking in cockney slang repeating apples and pears lad apples and pears.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_stig 6,614 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 a flash of Liverpool red was quickly followed by a smokey coloured claret n blue----------socks set off a red smoke screen to give stewie some cover but gnasher was closing in --- fast he popped a tin of his favourite pop eye spinach ---- stewie had one trick up his sleeve he knew the area well -------------------------------------- Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_stig 6,614 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 a flash of Liverpool red was quickly followed by a smokey coloured claret n blue----------socks set off a red smoke screen to give stewie some cover but gnasher was closing in --- fast he popped a tin of his favourite pop eye spinach ---- stewie had one trick up his sleeve he knew the area well -------------------------------------- he dived into a garden popped open an aviary door and tried to hide behind the painted black wire Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Gnash, had a weakness for birds, he loved the softness of there feathers. His rage started to dwindle as he stroked the feather creatures. Stewie seized his chance and emptied his bowels. The smell knocked gnash out cold. As he lay there, Stewie snaffled his gold medallion and legged it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
scothunter 12,609 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 your talents are wasted lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Astanley 11,472 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Stewie and his brother stood by the bar watching the contestants arrive , " don,t forget "Stewie whispered ," don,t mention my bed wetting or that I,m a post op transsexual to any of these kunts , or they ,ll take the piss ""Stewies brother noticed a bush in the car park that seemed to be moving , it stopped at the door and out stepped a camoflague clad Socks , his face painted with war stripes and a grenade in each hand "oh ffs " muttered Stewie , "don,t mention the army whatever you do " before Stewies brother could say anything two kilt wearing queers arrived holding hands and singing rebel songs ," whos that " asked stewies bro , it was Labby and Scotty the jew , the loved up couple settled into a corner table and ignored everone else as manouvers continued under the table .Stewies bro looked at his watch , "when are the welsh arriving " he asked , Before Stewie could answer the door flew open and there stood ..... 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,211 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 There was no one to be seen.... Then t Stewie and his brother stood by the bar watching the contestants arrive , " don,t forget "Stewie whispered ," don,t mention my bed wetting or that I,m a post op transsexual to any of these kunts , or they ,ll take the piss ""Stewies brother noticed a bush in the car park that seemed to be moving , it stopped at the door and out stepped a camoflague clad Socks , his face painted with war stripes and a grenade in each hand "oh ffs " muttered Stewie , "don,t mention the army whatever you do " before Stewies brother could say anything two kilt wearing queers arrived holding hands and singing rebel songs ," whos that " asked stewies bro , it was Labby and Scotty the jew , the loved up couple settled into a corner table and ignored everone else as manouvers continued under the table .Stewies bro looked at his watch , "when are the welsh arriving " he asked , Before Stewie could answer the door flew open and there stood ..... There was no one to be seen then they looked, down, and down some more.... And finally the clapped eyes on the crazy welsh dwarf..... Johnny Baggins stood before them in his full welsh rugby kit ( 8-9 years).... " right who wants to take the piss out of my clootie now" he screamed.... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 A dwarf and a Belsen survivor ... It was raw and johnny ... The welsh had arrived ... There was a glimmer then there was three of them socks had somehow managed to stand next to them with nobody seeing him move ... The room was filled with song and soon females from all over Nottingham were filling the pub to get a look at these handsome songsters ... Stewie and his brother nearly wet themselves at the sight of so many stunning birds in his pub ... Lab and Scott were nearly sick at the sight of so many fit birds that were blocking out the sight of the hunky welsh men ...... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_stig 6,614 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 (edited) the scarborough mafia soon followed black suits ties and shades --all carrying violin cases --full of 2 day old bridlington mackerel the secret weapon -------------- shout em up stewie first rounds on you .. the s m settle into a corner seat sipping there cranberry and lime eyeing up the opposition mel the tattooed leader says chill gang we`ve got this fishing comp in the bag -- see that wooden spoon on the bar ---that's going in my trophy cabinet next to them green and pink rossettes ----------------------- Edited July 19, 2013 by the_stig 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,211 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Haha... I keep laughing out loud here, f king funny boys.... Violin cases with mackerel haha... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
haymin 2,465 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 The ferrets got sold at a fiver a pop , the clootie was gone 2 hours before , everybody started feeling a bit funny they where saying blaming it on the heat not realising that they where coming up on magic mushrooms that haymin put in the clootie , it was johnny that started full blown tripping he was in some state away to fight with haymin for making a comment about his wife a while back there was whippet 99 standing behind him say its hardly the point it's hardly the point is he kept on and on about it by this time every body was buzzing lab Scott and haymin where getting all para as Scotland beat England 2/1 the week before , it was all to much haymin ran off to the B and B , leaving Scott and lab tripping out the box they finally escaped to the B and B in safety got the to the reception , and realised haymin never booked a room , there where no more rooms to get so they had to sleep in labs warrior together like a happy couple tripping out the boxes ) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
tilfertilfer 706 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 ffs sake iam in tears here lisa is saying what the fucks up with you ya daft twat and that bit about desert bred f**k me lol i have no more likes so tops to ya all or and johony the boat bit ffs man i have tears rolling down ma face lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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