baw 4,360 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Pil was the first to catch. While no one was looking he started feeding the sickley 2oz perch lead shot till it was as round as a football and weighted 3lb. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
johnny boy68 11,725 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Then TOMO turned up with his entry for the baking comp........ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 the heat was too much for tomo so he took his wax jacket off, striped to the waste, showing off a shaved, 2 foot high, portrait of his favourite lurcher Kat on his back. The likeness was striking. He'd even trimmed the hair till it was only 3 inches long to enhance the effect. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cookiemonsterandmerlin 145 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Then Paulus arrived in cookies combine but lucky had changed the number plate ............... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
johnny boy68 11,725 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 In the meantime socks and his missus turned up, he was going to come alone but his missus wanted a word with lab about his comments on her kitchen....... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 44,334 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 The roar of a sports car was heard and everyone turned to look, nothing was visible at first but then ( just visible above the long grass) RFLs head could be seen as he drove up the track in his small porche......he got out of the car and set about naming 25 different species of wild birds then offered to fight everyone !!........the situation could have got naughty if it wasn't for the arrival of Mark Brick and a fleet of bullion trucks carrying cash. He made it very clear that he would run against everyone for a £100k a rabbit.......the silence was deafening as no one dared mention the name " Long dog runner" in case he produced the hit list and his minder........ 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
whippet 99 2,613 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 pull your self the fook together man!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 that socks ones f***ing brilliant Johnny Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,211 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 (edited) The otter was in full camo... Only let down by a very strange hat, with swimming badges sown on it... He was meticulously setting up his swim, a small pile of grenades lay beside a huge pot of fish eggs ( he was still unsure on his first line of attack)... The 2 Scottish gays were mincing around the venue singing songs about gay rights and Scottish freedom ( well the one in the dress was speaking in a weird tongue... Possibly German????) A van pulled into the venue in a plume of smoke and an array of same heads fell out, the Scarborough clan had arrived... " hi I'm Mel, this is my wife, and this is my son.. And this is my sons wife.. And this is my sons wife's cousin.. And this is my wifes great aunt......" This went on a while, I'm not sure if it was a transit van or a tardis?? A dwarf and a drunk were further along the river arguing about who was the biggest Liverpool fan, the drunk had a burton Albion shirt on from the famous season of 1982 and the dwarf was wearing a child's Barcelona strip... The fishing was about to start, so the gays heading into town to go shopping and everyone else sat theresves down a d waited for the starters whistle....... But something wasn't right.... Edited July 19, 2013 by NEWKID 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 10 minuets into the competition and socks had filled his second keep net so decided to wander across the field where baw had been draped in hare skins by the coursing lads and was being made to run for his life ... He needn't have worried as most of the salukis had come from Ireland and 8 of them had jacked already .... Stewie had woken up and said something about west ham and was strangely back asleep again ... Then socks remembered that it was ten o clock and needed to get back to the pub car park where his missus had called out lab to a bare knuckle fight after taking the piss out of her kitchen ... Socks got there at 3 seconds past ten to find lab sparko on the floor with Scott trying his best to wake him up with a loving hand shandy ............... 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 44,334 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 600m in the distance, a solitary roe buck could be seen making its way along a hedgerow.....Lurcher 1 carefully took a lone BB from his split shot box, lifted his trusty catapult and took aim.......the sonic boom as the split shot left the pouch made all the birds lift from the trees and the roe buck fell dead as a door nail.......... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 f***ing class boys pure class :notworthy: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted July 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 Darcy sprung up from the grass next to the roe buck with a camera in his hand. He was unshaven, hair matted, clothes stained in deer urine. He'd been following the deer for 2 weeks trying to get a photo, he wasn't pleased. Once he'd seen it was a catapult that took the roe down his mood lightened, it gave him an idea for a new book. He took a photo of Stewie next to the buck, signed some autographs and left.... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,211 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 The Scottish poofs had arrived back at the venue..... But wait... There was something wrong, the fat ginger one was crying his eyes out screaming.." Whhyyy, anything but a woman"... The blond, skirt wearing one had changed into full SS gear and was arm in arm with a beautiful red headed woman, they were sharing a Big Mac and giggling like teenagers, Kay had arrived and turned one of the gays... The ginger one started comfort eating, Tomo was frantically trying to keep him in fairy cakes.. He even ate Johnny's anaemic clootie dumplin... He was now raiding newkids van and drinking copious amounts of scrumpy... This was going to end badly.. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
WILF 44,334 Posted July 19, 2013 Report Share Posted July 19, 2013 A pride of polar bears could be seen playfully hunting seals up by the road bridge and the whole congregation agreed that there is never a malamute cross around when you need one...... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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