Ordeals you say?
Well have some of this for an ordeal
A visit to Ikea this afternoon
Felt like a different feckin planet
Like Father Ted and chums in the Lingerie section
Don't know how I got in
Didn't know how to get out
Follow the arrows the assistant exclaimed
Them arrows I replied pointing to the signs up a height
No says she, the arrows down there on the floor they were
Like mirage esque holograms
Away I set again accompanied by some vague soundtrack tipping out of stealth speakers
Don't think we sell guest beds says the nex