just jack

A blonde woman was driving along the road when she spotted another blonde woman rowing a boat in a field..... Absolutely raging she rolled down her window and shouted "It's blonde's like you that give us a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come over there and knock you out that boat!!"

I met a girl in a nightclub and told her 'I'm going to make love in my bedroom, my bathroom, my kitchen and my lounge when we get back to mine'. She replied, 'Wow, let's go, it's good to find a man with such stamina these days'. For some reason she didn't seem too impressed when we finally got to the caravan.

Quite frankly I'd rather shite in my hands and clap than watch the Eurovision Song Contest.

My new immigrant neighbour popped his head over the fence and said "yo, bro, what's going down?" I said "the value of my f*****g house you horrible c**t"

I persuaded my girlfriend to smuggle some coke through customs by sticking it up her arse. I didn't know I could buy another can in the departure lounge.