byron 1,093 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 i,m a compulsive trespasser.allways have been..hahaha..every sat night for the last few weeks, [i choose a differant wood every week].. i stick the rucksack on, and take a frying pan/pitza/couple bottles of beer etc, nowt special, get on me bike saddle the dogs up and of i set... gets all cosy, fire on etc,becomes a nice clear night me thinks for shooting stars.anyways i live right next to the marshes and notices this helicopter .thinking hes heading out to the rigs etc.thought no more, till he appears again doing a big wide circle.now i live on the flatlands no hills in this part of lincs apart from this one field in front of me,which is spoils from years ago when they worked the salt. anyway dogs start kicking of and with that torches appear on the horizon .with that this helicopter search light come's on, first on these coppers then on me.a strange feeling come's over you when that big beam lights you up..a sort of naked feeling.lol...anyway's in front of me is this deep slippery dike.with that these coppers shout out to me ,[me bike torch had gone dead].so i shout back asking em what they want.. to be continued..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDHUNTING 1,817 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 You missed this off the end. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 Oh please write the next bit I can hardly contain my fukcing excitement 1 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnasher16 29,664 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 No i prefer it when episodes are a week apart it builds up the tension and excitement..............infact....leave this one about a year 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meece 1,957 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 But for some time now the rain has been thrashing down and everywhere has been so sodden. I managed to get a bit of time out with the spaniel across the fields and the ground is so sodden that she was sinking into the field. These fields are like rock in the summer. When we came back home She was so plastered in mud that I had to hose her off outside before a warm shower ect. Now with these conditions why would anyone want to go out into a wood at night, start a fire and cook a pizza ? No wonder they came out hunting you down. Big Brother noted that you weren't inside in the dry watching Eastenders or some crud. Have they charged you with cruelty to dogs.?? I don't know. what next. I suppose that you going to be sectioned as a mad fellow. Charge 1. Trespass on private land. 2. Cruelty to animals. 3 Acting in a suspicious manner. 4. causing unauthorised fire on said private land without the owners permission. 5. criminal damage to trees and stuff. 6 damaging the environment without prior environment surveys and planning. 7 Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike. 8. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike. Painted in non environmentally friendly colours. 9. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike. Painted in non environmentally friendly colours. that has bald tyres. 10. pissing up trees without authorisation. AND allowing dogs to do the same altering the PH balance of the soil , thus altering the natural balance of the ground without proper scientific survey of the environmental effect. Well there's 10 to be going on with.. You'll get let off with a severe warning about taking dogs out in inclement weather and the pushbike will be taken and crushed as a tool of rural crime. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meece 1,957 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 7 hours ago, byron said: i,m a compulsive trespasser.allways have been..hahaha..every sat night for the last few weeks, [i choose a differant wood every week].. i stick the rucksack on, and take a frying pan/pitza/couple bottles of beer etc, nowt special, get on me bike saddle the dogs up and of i set... gets all cosy, fire on etc,becomes a nice clear night me thinks for shooting stars.anyways i live right next to the marshes and notices this helicopter .thinking hes heading out to the rigs etc.thought no more, till he appears again doing a big wide circle.now i live on the flatlands no hills in this part of lincs apart from this one field in front of me,which is spoils from years ago when they worked the salt. anyway dogs start kicking of and with that torches appear on the horizon .with that this helicopter search light come's on, first on these coppers then on me.a strange feeling come's over you when that big beam lights you up..a sort of naked feeling.lol...anyway's in front of me is this deep slippery dike.with that these coppers shout out to me ,[me bike torch had gone dead].so i shout back asking em what they want.. to be continued..... Wat U Wann...... Did the coppers reply " ere mate you ain't got a spare burger and a nice cup of tea going wanting have you"? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meece 1,957 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 7 hours ago, byron said: anyway dogs start kicking of and with that torches appear on the horizon .with that this helicopter search light come's on, first on these coppers then on me.a strange feeling come's over you when that big beam lights you up..a sort of naked feeling.lol...anyway's in front of me is this deep slippery dike.with that these coppers shout out to me , [me bike torch had gone dead].so i shout back asking em what they want.. NO'. I see the excuse. You were out taking the dogs for a walk. it got dark and your bike torch went dead, you got lost and ended up in the middle of a wood and couldn't proceed because the way was blocked by a deep slippery ditch. You had no option but to make a fire to feed the pizza to the dogs and keep them warm by the fire and wait. it out until daylight. Simple ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Qbgrey 3,987 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 (edited) The police helicopter would be last of your worrys if you come on my ground with ya pots,n,pans,and fires and dagws.if you did,nt have any tomahawk steaks on the coals im telling ya fist of fury would follow Edited February 3, 2020 by Qbgrey 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
peterhunter86 8,627 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 2 hours ago, Meece said: But for some time now the rain has been thrashing down and everywhere has been so sodden. I managed to get a bit of time out with the spaniel across the fields and the ground is so sodden that she was sinking into the field. These fields are like rock in the summer. When we came back home She was so plastered in mud that I had to hose her off outside before a warm shower ect. Now with these conditions why would anyone want to go out into a wood at night, start a fire and cook a pizza ? No wonder they came out hunting you down. Big Brother noted that you weren't inside in the dry watching Eastenders or some crud. Have they charged you with cruelty to dogs.?? I don't know. what next. I suppose that you going to be sectioned as a mad fellow. Charge 1. Trespass on private land. 2. Cruelty to animals. 3 Acting in a suspicious manner. 4. causing unauthorised fire on said private land without the owners permission. 5. criminal damage to trees and stuff. 6 damaging the environment without prior environment surveys and planning. 7 Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike. 8. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike. Painted in non environmentally friendly colours. 9. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike. Painted in non environmentally friendly colours. that has bald tyres. 10. pissing up trees without authorisation. AND allowing dogs to do the same altering the PH balance of the soil , thus altering the natural balance of the ground without proper scientific survey of the environmental effect. Well there's 10 to be going on with.. You'll get let off with a severe warning about taking dogs out in inclement weather and the pushbike will be taken and crushed as a tool of rural crime. 8 an 9 are the same, and are you nosey norris out of corrie 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
low plains drifter 9,467 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 2 hours ago, Meece said: But for some time now the rain has been thrashing down and everywhere has been so sodden. I managed to get a bit of time out with the spaniel across the fields and the ground is so sodden that she was sinking into the field. These fields are like rock in the summer. When we came back home She was so plastered in mud that I had to hose her off outside before a warm shower ect. Now with these conditions why would anyone want to go out into a wood at night, start a fire and cook a pizza ? No wonder they came out hunting you down. Big Brother noted that you weren't inside in the dry watching Eastenders or some crud. Have they charged you with cruelty to dogs.?? I don't know. what next. I suppose that you going to be sectioned as a mad fellow. Charge 1. Trespass on private land. 2. Cruelty to animals. 3 Acting in a suspicious manner. 4. causing unauthorised fire on said private land without the owners permission. 5. criminal damage to trees and stuff. 6 damaging the environment without prior environment surveys and planning. 7 Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike. 8. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike. Painted in non environmentally friendly colours. 9. Being in possession of a clapped out pushbike. Painted in non environmentally friendly colours. that has bald tyres. 10. pissing up trees without authorisation. AND allowing dogs to do the same altering the PH balance of the soil , thus altering the natural balance of the ground without proper scientific survey of the environmental effect. Well there's 10 to be going on with.. You'll get let off with a severe warning about taking dogs out in inclement weather and the pushbike will be taken and crushed as a tool of rural crime. This is approaching high end consideration Have you got a loam ? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
king 11,664 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 were the coppers looking for gay's playing with a ouija board.. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meece 1,957 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 You blokes got no sense of humour. It's all sport and entertainment. Think about it. A bloke goes out into a wood at nightime to cook a pizza when its been thrashing down for weeks and plod turns up with dogs and helicopter. It's Monty python stuff ffs. When's part 2 coming up. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Qbgrey 3,987 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 Hope you get the bill for the almost terror attack in london type response,for a man,pan,n,spam. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
shaaark 10,140 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 2 hours ago, low plains drifter said: This is approaching high end consideration Have you got a loam ? Think he ate the loam Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kinkell 787 Posted February 3, 2020 Report Share Posted February 3, 2020 Jackanory jackanory Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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