Kay 3,709 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 Try wearing bifocals, I went for a piss and saw 2 cocks, I knew the big one wasn't mine so I put it away again! i have had them varey focal (sp) things OMG i felt like i was drunk .. was hoovering the carpet at work & the floor was moving , i felt sick so went for a lay down in the medical block & nodded off .. after nerly 45 mins of searching the building the handy man found me a kip .. i thought that was it for me the sack loomed but between us we managed to fob the gaffer off took me a month to get used the to bloody things I've got varifocals now, going downstairs can be a bit dodgy but otherwise great! Top of the glasses for widdling, can hit a fly at 10ft and shift one of them pine smelling things in the urinal at 15 ft. Bottom of the lens for driving or looking at the ex, she always looks better miles away. Biggest problem is when I go in the freezers in work and they mist up, look on the bright side though, when I come out I can grope the nice blonde I work with and claim it was innocent - - - - - mine steam up when i go in doors from the cold ..mind all of me steams up with hormonal moments but that's another thread ... i had normal glasses until last October then I had these fancy things ... must admit I didn't think I was going to get on with them .. but I still look over the top of them to read microscopic text on food packages ... I have a torch to read stuff as I am sick of these poxy long life light bulbs that equate to a candle's worth of light ... I am up to 3 lamps in the main room , may as well get a 100wat light bulb coz i cant be saving the planet with 3 lights on in each room Other than that I am enjoying my 50th year , getting more creaky & cranky as each day ends Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Blackbriar 8,569 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 (edited) Glasses and a reading lamp to do the crossword, even with the main light on ! I have to sit down to put my trousers on in the morning, and does anyone else make funny noises when they tie their laces ? On the plus side, I'm still only on one nocturnal bathroom visit..... Edited February 28, 2015 by Blackbriar Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 Glasses and a reading lamp to do the crossword, even with the main light on ! I have to sit down to put my trousers on in the morning, and does anyone else make funny noises when they tie their laces ? On the plus side, I'm still only on one nocturnal bathroom visit..... only one toilet stop here too... but I have to allow 10 mins extra to get the feeling in my legs before i dare stand up first thing... oh and i come down stairs sideways now... muttering '' i cant afford a fall at my age ... steady does it'' .. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kay 3,709 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 Try wearing bifocals, I went for a piss and saw 2 cocks, I knew the big one wasn't mine so I put it away again! i have had them varey focal (sp) things OMG i felt like i was drunk .. was hoovering the carpet at work & the floor was moving , i felt sick so went for a lay down in the medical block & nodded off .. after nerly 45 mins of searching the building the handy man found me a kip .. i thought that was it for me the sack loomed but between us we managed to fob the gaffer off took me a month to get used the to bloody things I've got varifocals now, going downstairs can be a bit dodgy but otherwise great! Top of the glasses for widdling, can hit a fly at 10ft and shift one of them pine smelling things in the urinal at 15 ft. Bottom of the lens for driving or looking at the ex, she always looks better miles away. Biggest problem is when I go in the freezers in work and they mist up, look on the bright side though, when I come out I can grope the nice blonde I work with and claim it was innocent - - - - - mine steam up when i go in doors from the cold ..mind all of me steams up with hormonal moments but that's another thread ... i had normal glasses until last October then I had these fancy things ... must admit I didn't think I was going to get on with them .. but I still look over the top of them to read microscopic text on food packages ... I have a torch to read stuff as I am sick of these poxy long life light bulbs that equate to a candle's worth of light ... I am up to 3 lamps in the main room , may as well get a 100wat light bulb coz i cant be saving the planet with 3 lights on in each room Other than that I am enjoying my 50th year , getting more creaky & cranky as each day ends Gets worse every year too! Try the reactive lenses, every time the sun comes out I go blind, then I come back inside and go blind again. Add in the dodgy hearing (selective) and the wonky knee and I'm in trouble most days. The last time I got stopped by the coppers; "would you read the number plate on that car please Sir?" "What car?" Well it ain't quite that bad but it's getting there! i do everything that i found hysterical as a kid when my nan used to finish peoples sentences ,, fart as she walked to the kitchen to make a brew if me knee, foot, elbow , head, back dont ache its me arse ... lifes just one big laugh for me these days Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hareydave 1,214 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 I had a feeling mine was going when I woke up in bed with my neighbour Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lanesra 4,007 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 Oh It Comes On Quick Mine Where Fine Then "Boooom" Struggling Too Read So That Was It Opticians & Reading Glasses. where Required , Ok Driving & Watching Tele But Reading Is Impossible Without Them . . Ok With I-pad As I Can Open Page To Increase Size Of Letters . . The Problem Is Mentally Your 20 But Physically Your Not When I've Been Up The Lake District Following Houmds I've Known That A Day Over Them Hills Brings My Sciatica On , But You Kid Yourself You'll Be Ok & You Go For It , But The Sciatica Kicks In & I Do It All Again 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Hareydave 1,214 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 my eyesight brilliant till I go to cook something an ya cant read the instructions Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Chicken_man 1,651 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 Yep, Got mi reading specs now, aching after a good walk out yesterday. Knackers yard soon lol :-) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bunny tickler 876 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 i can spot a rabbit a mile away yet cant read my phone text lol as for the rest of me . well it all hurts 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 No nocturnal bathroom visits for me yet, but once I wake up in the morning, if I don't make the bathroom in 2 minutes flat, it's going to be bad news. Can read the paper in daylight, but once the sun goes down, speccy four eyes. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blackmaggie 3,377 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 i know i need the bins for reading holding the paper or reading a text i have to hold them at arms length now and then i move my head backwards till it comes in to focus so my times coming i suppose that saying time and tide wait for no man is true but i have always had selective hearing were shes concerned 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tiercel 6,986 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 It was like a switch being thrown, once I hit 40 I found my arms were just not long enough. 20 years later I have to put two pairs on to read real small print. I even have the text on this lap top set at 125% TC Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 11,968 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 I felt old at 40,you lot are cracking me up though,lol Quote Link to post Share on other sites
albert64 1,882 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 I'm starting to find I'm having to visit the loo to piss a bit more often than I used too and all! wait till you start pissing on your slippers 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
albert64 1,882 Posted February 28, 2015 Report Share Posted February 28, 2015 have to have reading glasses now and I've put them on a bit of string the kids aren't impressed, 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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