Near Death Experiences

[joe54 83]

was a very hot day many years ago only 11 12 or so up a lotment picking plums me and a couple of mates went to retch for a plum and fell down a well i was sharp anuff to grab the side my mate pulled me up pretty quick never had the chance to look down it some old man ran at us screaming think there was hes plums i walked the dogs there few years back and someone as put a wooded top over it looks like a cole that copper gets un realed from

[lanesra 4,007]

and don't forget the time you opened your wallet lans

and don't forget the time you opened your wallet lans

That Was A Brake . . . Broke My Fukcing Heart .

[RubyTex 1,957]

rubytex tell the boys how you nearly drowned playing baywatch with your spaniel

 

Lol you dafty, wonder who you are

[RubyTex 1,957]

Mine wasn't even a near death experience anyway, just got cut off by the tide and had to wade through water up to my tits....my arse wasn't nipping, honest...

[Nik_B 3,791]

 

 

Got myself in a few dodgy situations while working in West Africa through drink when you think your untouchable ...then you wake up in the morning think wtf were you up to last night .

In 2006 I was in Angola and around 50 locals were having meeting and threatening to strike over there friend being sacked the meeting strated getting a bit heated after a few hours and we could see what was happening from our office that was above the yard ...there were a few blacks in our office and this big horrible german c@nt .said the best thing you can do is give all these black bxstxrds gun and let them shoot them selves ....not his best ever move ....a few of the locals found out about this and all hell broke loose ...they were like fukin Zulus eyes popping out of there heads demanding his blood ...me and a big Nigerian lad managed to smuggle him out the building and got him to fuk out of there but they posted look out s at the airport ...the horrible Nazi bxstxrd had to go into hiding for a few weeks before getting out of the country.

Because we had helped him we were the next target so I armed myself with 2 hammers and was prepared to take out anyone that came near me then one of the girls in the office said there away to get guns now that's when you go from being filled with andrenilin and prepared to fight to absolutely shiting it ...ive never been so scared in my life I mean real fear of dying all you think about is wife and the weeman ...we manged to get the fuk out of there and a week later was working with them all again ...but heard the german was working in the Gongo a few months later and was attacked .

A year past August I was offshore on a semi in the North SEA and had just finished a job on the lift frame about 50 feet up finished came down and gave my rideing belt to another lad so he could get taken up on the winch to do his job 2 mins later the whole thing fialed and my mate was hit by 10 ton of equipment falling it knocked hikm to the ground from 50feet he broke his pelvis ribs arm leg dislocated his shoulder and punctured a lung ...not good to see ....if I had been up there when it happened I would not be here today as the position I was up there it would of came down on top of me ...same thing all you think about is you family .....that's why I left the north sea ...also getting on they choppers now adays is not a good feeling

 

 

We had an office/workshop in Nigeria and they had a dispute very similar. Unfortunately the 'hard ass' who sacked the union members went home on his time off and his replacement was assassinated at the front gates, shot at close range.

 

I worked in Algeria for many years amongst other places and when I look back on how dangerous it was it makes me shudder. I'm with you on not doing stuff like that anymore including working in the North Sea.

 

 

Not many people have good things to say about working the North Sea like!! Is it really that dodgy?

 

 

It's an age thing I suppose. Once you get past 40 you start to lose that feeling of invincibility

 

I've been in a chopper that had to return to Aberdeen due to gearbox failure (they have a secondary one). Also been in really hairy landings in high winds in both choppers off shore and in the Pilatus STOAL in the desert which was terrifying and I've flow aircraft so I'm not scared of flying! I think after working in Algeria, being in Libya just before the revolution and driving past road signs for Aleppo (Syria) it's made me think twice about putting myself in danger for money. I was on a rig in the North Sea when the generator exploded and the rig started to sink very slowly and thought nothing of it at the time but now I'd probably be the first in the life boats lol. I've seen the end results of horrific accidents and some of my colleagues were on a rig that went up in flames killing 3 or 4 people, the safety was less than zero in the desert. One time on a rig the derrickman dropped a litre bottle of water (one KG) from about 20-25m and it landed by my feet lol.

 

I'd say the closest I've been to death was a tire blow out on a french motorway doing 100 MPH (it's why I drive like a granny), also I was flying a Cessna in the USA and the engine suffered a malfunction; I was in the pattern for landing on my own and I had houses looming up in front of me....it got to the point where I was starting to pray where I luckily pulled myself together to do a last minute check of the controls and found the problem. I couldn't even get out of the plane when I landed my legs were like jelly.

[brad88 133]

On my way 2 Greece two years ago with my misses and kid and the cockpit caught fire!!!!!!! That was a scary flight had to emergency land in Germany. Never been so scared in all my life!

[RubyTex 1,957]

 

 

 

Got myself in a few dodgy situations while working in West Africa through drink when you think your untouchable ...then you wake up in the morning think wtf were you up to last night .

In 2006 I was in Angola and around 50 locals were having meeting and threatening to strike over there friend being sacked the meeting strated getting a bit heated after a few hours and we could see what was happening from our office that was above the yard ...there were a few blacks in our office and this big horrible german c@nt .said the best thing you can do is give all these black bxstxrds gun and let them shoot them selves ....not his best ever move ....a few of the locals found out about this and all hell broke loose ...they were like fukin Zulus eyes popping out of there heads demanding his blood ...me and a big Nigerian lad managed to smuggle him out the building and got him to fuk out of there but they posted look out s at the airport ...the horrible Nazi bxstxrd had to go into hiding for a few weeks before getting out of the country.

Because we had helped him we were the next target so I armed myself with 2 hammers and was prepared to take out anyone that came near me then one of the girls in the office said there away to get guns now that's when you go from being filled with andrenilin and prepared to fight to absolutely shiting it ...ive never been so scared in my life I mean real fear of dying all you think about is wife and the weeman ...we manged to get the fuk out of there and a week later was working with them all again ...but heard the german was working in the Gongo a few months later and was attacked .

A year past August I was offshore on a semi in the North SEA and had just finished a job on the lift frame about 50 feet up finished came down and gave my rideing belt to another lad so he could get taken up on the winch to do his job 2 mins later the whole thing fialed and my mate was hit by 10 ton of equipment falling it knocked hikm to the ground from 50feet he broke his pelvis ribs arm leg dislocated his shoulder and punctured a lung ...not good to see ....if I had been up there when it happened I would not be here today as the position I was up there it would of came down on top of me ...same thing all you think about is you family .....that's why I left the north sea ...also getting on they choppers now adays is not a good feeling

 

 

We had an office/workshop in Nigeria and they had a dispute very similar. Unfortunately the 'hard ass' who sacked the union members went home on his time off and his replacement was assassinated at the front gates, shot at close range.

 

I worked in Algeria for many years amongst other places and when I look back on how dangerous it was it makes me shudder. I'm with you on not doing stuff like that anymore including working in the North Sea.

 

 

Not many people have good things to say about working the North Sea like!! Is it really that dodgy?

 

 

It's an age thing I suppose. Once you get past 40 you start to lose that feeling of invincibility

 

I've been in a chopper that had to return to Aberdeen due to gearbox failure (they have a secondary one). Also been in really hairy landings in high winds in both choppers off shore and in the Pilatus STOAL in the desert which was terrifying and I've flow aircraft so I'm not scared of flying! I think after working in Algeria, being in Libya just before the revolution and driving past road signs for Aleppo (Syria) it's made me think twice about putting myself in danger for money. I was on a rig in the North Sea when the generator exploded and the rig started to sink very slowly and thought nothing of it at the time but now I'd probably be the first in the life boats lol. I've seen the end results of horrific accidents and some of my colleagues were on a rig that went up in flames killing 3 or 4 people, the safety was less than zero in the desert. One time on a rig the derrickman dropped a litre bottle of water (one KG) from about 20-25m and it landed by my feet lol.

 

I'd say the closest I've been to death was a tire blow out on a french motorway doing 100 MPH (it's why I drive like a granny), also I was flying a Cessna in the USA and the engine suffered a malfunction; I was in the pattern for landing on my own and I had houses looming up in front of me....it got to the point where I was starting to pray where I luckily pulled myself together to do a last minute check of the controls and found the problem. I couldn't even get out of the plane when I landed my legs were like jelly.

 

 

Check you out Michael Palin! Haha. Between you, MIK and others this Africa work does not sound worth it at all...

[Nik_B 3,791]

It's why I didn't reply earlier. It always feels like it sounds like showing off but it's not. We all take risks in life but there's a point where it's not worth it. I was earning stupidly low wages yet I was in one of the most dangerous countries in the world. Even recently there was an article about a teacher being murdered in Libya and in Algeria that was frequent. In my last year in Algeria the UN office in Algiers was bombed (up the road from our office) and we got a threat alert about a missile attack that was being planned against our oil worker aircraft coming in to Hassi Messaoud. That was on top of the rig explosion and some other stuff.

[RubyTex 1,957]

It's why I didn't reply earlier. It always feels like it sounds like showing off but it's not. We all take risks in life but there's a point where it's not worth it. I was earning stupidly low wages yet I was in one of the most dangerous countries in the world. Even recently there was an article about a teacher being murdered in Libya and in Algeria that was frequent. In my last year in Algeria the UN office in Algiers was bombed (up the road from our office) and we got a threat alert about a missile attack that was being planned against our oil worker aircraft coming in to Hassi Messaoud. That was on top of the rig explosion and some other stuff.

 

When you're young you think feck it what's the worse than can happen, thinking you're invincible but then when you actually see some of the stuff you've described i'm sure it would change anyones outlook. Just glad you got out alive!

[THE STIFFMEISTER 16,967]

A good pal of mine had a malfunction on his main chute when we were skydiving in California, he was white and I mean white when he landed on his reserve, after an hour or so we calmed him down and replaned for another lob, as I tracked away from him In the sky after our four way , he pulled and his chute looked like a carrier bag, I was under canopy by then and watched him fighting it as he plummeted down like an eagle , eventually at about 3000 ft he pulled his reserve and came into land before me, he was literally crying his eyes out,

 

 

You get a mal around every 1000 jumps, he was just very unlucky to get 2 in one day with less than 50 under his belt, but at least he walked away

[TOMO 28,550]

Stiffy,,, has he ever jumped again ?

[Astanley 11,632]

I drank 2 miltons sterilising tablets once , thinking they were headache tablets , and got no sympathy on here , just a load of piss taking bastids

[clipo 871]

Mine wasn't even a near death experience anyway, just got cut off by the tide and had to wade through water up to my tits....my arse wasn't nipping, honest...

my dear old gran used to panick when she was in water up to her tits to pal, dont know why tho it was only knee deep!!!

[THE STIFFMEISTER 16,967]

Tomo fair play to him yeah he did but he hasn't kept it on, you find though that only those really into it bother doing like 200 plus jumps,

But it's definately something everyone ought to do in their lives

[socks 32,253]

I drank 2 miltons sterilising tablets once , thinking they were headache tablets , and got no sympathy on here , just a load of piss taking bastids

Lol I remember that ........