A young p***y girl was sitting chatting to her mum the night before her wedding.
"I'd like to talk to you about your wedding night. Your husband will want to put his prized possession where you pee" said the mum.
"I'm confused mum. Why would he want to put his tarmac rake in the sink?"
DOCTOR... "The tests came back, you're obese"....
60 STONE GUY... "Yeah, it runs in my family"...
DOCTOR... "No one runs in your family you fat piece of shit".