Embarrassing moments

[WILF 44,323]

Me and a pal agree that the “Must Buy Virgil Van Dijk” post was probably an all time low for poor sod.

 

[jiggy 3,207]

I was in a taxi once in another town and an ugly bird that I knew walked across the road in front of us and the taxi driver beeped the horn. I said to him to run her over she's an ugly Cnut and a horrible bitch too and that I know her. He turned around and said to me I know her too she's my sister Needless to say their wasn't much conversation on journey after that.

[mushroom 12,391]

If we're talking about people's embarrassing moments on here..... then surely TB's next fuuck or shag or whatever it was, is up there with the best  of 'em  

[WILF 44,323]

This is a bit howling actually, anyway......

Years ago there was a small group of lads used to hang about and this one night one of them says to the group about some lad who has been taking a few liberties and needs squared off.

The gig is that the liberty taker is holding a party that night and that is where he can be found.

So, the group of four lads take off for the party and in arriving at the packed house the host sees who it is and knows the game is up so locked all the doors.

He forgot however to check the windows and the four lads find one open and climb in.

Inside is the host, about 50 guests and the hosts Dad!......2 Of the lads took hold of the Dad, one does crowd control and the other absolutely smashes the liberty taker to a pulp, I’m told it was pretty f***ing horrible actually but at the time these lads were what they were.

Few Years later, one of the lads is settled down and his Mrs says “I bumped into an old friend today and she is popping round later” 

So the long lost friend turns up and in amongst the usual small talk they get in to the subject of where/who/when did you hang out etc and the friend says:

”I remember one night, I was at my friends party and these 4 lunatics broke in and nearly beat my pal to death, sick b*****ds!”

Im told the bloke had a very red face and excused himself to the kitchen for the rest of the night.

[mushroom 12,391]

27 minutes ago, W. Katchum said:

Gimme 2 weeks

Some profile picture he pulled off FB, steaming one night

Kinell, the thought of that thread has had me belly laughing a few times.

Another one;

Was chatting with a bird on one of these dating apps and she sends me a naughty pic and says, send me one back... So while searching in my gallery (don't ask ), I selected the wrong one, which on this app goes straight away... a pic of one of my exes, naked and well, in a very provocative position shall we say was sent across funny thing is this bird was bang into it

 

[mushroom 12,391]

1 minute ago, W. Katchum said:

Are all you midgets pure fcuking deviants ???

Told you... It's tripod and maybe it's just me, I don't know anymore

[mushroom 12,391]

10 minutes ago, W. Katchum said:

An iv told you ye wouldn’t be a fcuking tripod if yer dumpy wee legs were of normal proportions  ffs

Lol I have short shins

[mushroom 12,391]

4 minutes ago, W. Katchum said:

Legs like a teckel ye mean

Ok...... you wanna play rough? Ok!

Once went out lamping with dear katchum and superted. Katchum falls off a fuucking wall, squealing like a ferret getting fuucked wrong and superted necked a rabbit which 5 mins later comes back to life and decides to make a run for it

Jock pansies

[mushroom 12,391]

5 minutes ago, W. Katchum said:

You pushed me you spiteful little dwarf, whilst trying to scale a 3 foot drystone wall like it was the krypton factor wall ffs an it was you that kept putting live rabbits in my rucksack cos ye were too feeble to kill em an I ended up with rabbit running up me street at end of night, neighbours are still looking for a midget with a crocodile Dundee hat  

 

cos talk about embarrassing moments, imagine waiting for folk to turn up to go lamping, an they arrive at ye house for a brew an a munch, but one of them is only 3ft tall an with a crocodile Dundee hat on, I was embarrassed for the little fella 

 

i looked at me cousin an we both said at exact same time,,,

 

ye call that a knife

Total fuucking fallacy...... the hat's true though

[mushroom 12,391]

1 minute ago, W. Katchum said:

Here’s another concerning shroom

 

few yeats back an I mean a few now, shroom as travelling up past my house to go pick up a pup, a lurcher pup off a guy that used come on here, so my cousin ends up roped into being his copilot on the long drive, they get to mine an we set off again uotowards the coast a load a banger a bit of a nervous breakdown by Shroom later we arrive at this house an ho into garden an talk shite with breeder for an hour, shrooms picked his pup an then says to breeder can I get a blanket an rub bitch down to get scent to help settle pup, goes to motor an come back with brand new blanket just for the occasion, then sets about chasing this bitch round garden for about 15 mins trying to run her down an rub her I wanted ground to swallow me so I wouldn’t be associate with this wee midget chasing a wheaten cross about garden mission accomplished an back in motor an headed home, less than 10 mile up road an pup had pished shat an spewed all over the blanket that smelled like mum blanket got ditched an pup sat in knee all way home

95% correct

[mushroom 12,391]

4 minutes ago, W. Katchum said:

Okay then bitch was wheatenxbullx an it was 8 mile up road ye ditched blanket

No you came along because you said you knew the bloke and I'd get a discount ya c**t superted came along because he wanted to get out of the house

The banger bit and nervous breakdown.... know idea wtf ya on about but it was some pain in the arse craic driving back behind the Appleby horse train

[mushroom 12,391]

29 minutes ago, W. Katchum said:

After a long hard season it was time for a break, harewood house game fair was comin up an we decided to go camping for the long weekend, no names mentioned but a vertically challenged dude from on here turns up at my house, with everything ye need for a great weekend including about half a k a the strongest cured skunk money couldn’t buy I sees what we got an decided fcuk it, goes up road an grabs a few bottles a shnapps, whiskey an vodka firewater freshly made gets to harewood house an gets all set up, hits the beer tent, an within an hour most the folk in there where stoned as fcuk an fair hadn’t even started yet an already we had everybody talking about us as you can imagine the weekend was great, everybody involved had a ball an do did most other folk that visited the beer tent or our tents, but the embarrassing bit was ole mick Dundee here again  decided to embarrass us all an takes his staffy down to the gundog scurry, enough thc in his system to put a Rasta family to sleep an a bottle a dog in one hand  an a glass a flammable schnapps in other  well rest of us were mortified but went down anyways, only bit was more embarrassing was watching his staff win trophy over loads other purpose bred mutts

That staffy bloody well won the scurry and you know it lol... BASC champion

The beer tent was entirely my fault I admit but it was good shit everyone loved it

and I seem to remember you saying "if you drink this bottle of schnapps I'll let you fuuck me" you still owe me your ring pal

Edited May 20, 2018 by mushroom

[mushroom 12,391]

Excuse me? it be your ring that's owed son.. not mine

That Hardwood house turned into some craic though

Remember Superted turning round and saying loud as f**k "that TG is ugly as fuuck man" lol she was right behind him and he wondered why she hated him

[mushroom 12,391]

Just now, W. Katchum said:

Then she banned me from here cos I put a pic up of the lurcher racing am her an her daughter was in crowd, along with couple hundred other folk ffs was good craic that weekend mate, made some good pals an had some right laughs the game fair may adwell hadn’t been there

Fuuck aye mind that she banned ya

I remember why you all came now.... I got free tickets off Forest ya bum cnuts

[mushroom 12,391]

Not wrong about the site mate. Changed a lot!

Was a craic and a half.

Remember the guy with his beautiful black labs telling me I should get a lab when all of his dogs placed lower than my champion staffy

I guess life moves on and THL has just become another social media, instead of an open forum for like minded individuals

When I think about it, so many faces gone. Good lads in their own right. Always a craic and banter but happy to help newbies and oldies alike.