socks 32,253 Posted May 8, 2016 Report Share Posted May 8, 2016 Last Wednesday when Tilly was having her pups I dozed off at around 7am and I felt Tilly climb onto my lap but in my half sleep mode didn't really pay much attention until I felt a warm sticky sensation on my lap and I woke to find a wriggling pup accompanied by the usual blood and afterbirth .... Anyway after getting her and the pup back into the shelling box I whent up to the house and stripped off and chucked my soiled clothes into the outside utility room where the washing machine is and forgot all about them .... At 9 this morning I was faced with a not very impressed wife who had gone in to put a load into the machine only to find my rank stinking festering trousers dumped on the floor .... Oh dear I wasn't in the good books lol ...... 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
forest of dean redneck 12,023 Posted May 8, 2016 Report Share Posted May 8, 2016 Lol you didn't turn it against her ,and ask her why She hasn't washed them or point out she's not cleaned out there for a week? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2016 Lol no mate she hasn't been well so couldn't ..... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
stevo79 569 Posted May 8, 2016 Report Share Posted May 8, 2016 (edited) I've got someone like her st home lol. But I wouldn't be without her. Hope the pups are well Atb. And the Mrs ? Edited May 8, 2016 by stevo79 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
sussex 5,803 Posted May 8, 2016 Report Share Posted May 8, 2016 A mate asked me for to save him some pluck for his dogs , last two I shot I put the lungs , hearts livers etc in a bag for him and rang him to say I would be out early morning but I would leave the bag in the tractor ...he never picked it up , I never went near the tractor for nearly three weeks ...fcuking hell ... 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nothernlite 18,268 Posted May 8, 2016 Report Share Posted May 8, 2016 I would sack her no done a washing fae wedsnday Quote Link to post Share on other sites
gnasher16 31,602 Posted May 8, 2016 Report Share Posted May 8, 2016 Stop telling lies the little lady caught a whiff of that 4 day old placenta and membranes on your strides and said it was like a breath of fresh air compared to normal ! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted May 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2016 Stop telling lies the little lady caught a whiff of that 4 day old placenta and membranes on your strides and said it was like a breath of fresh air compared to normal ! have you got my missus mobile number ...... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gaz_1989 9,539 Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 I bet they hummed. Lol All joking aside that's some trust the bitch has got in you Ken to have a pup on your lap. Fair play. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted May 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 I bet they hummed. Lol All joking aside that's some trust the bitch has got in you Ken to have a pup on your lap. Fair play. I've got a very strong bond with the bitch gaz which obviously helps when your working with them day in day out ........ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
JDHUNTING 1,817 Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 Lol no mate she hasn't been well so couldn't ..... always the same excuses women, My missus was so ill last week I had to carry her downstairs so she could make brekky 9 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
beast 1,884 Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 here is a true story, bit off track but funny in a disgusting way. the family next door are a bit odd, proper scruffs and proper hoarders, place is like a fecking pig sty. they are also a couple of crackpots but they are pleasant enough in their own strange way. so one day the wife comes out of the outside utility room saying how much it stinks and she doesnt know why. this lasts for about a week, during which time the oldest daughter (in her 20s) thinks there is a problem with the plumbing as the bathroom stinks (it is above the utility room) and the old woman is getting more and more stressed about it. anyway one lunchtime i come home to find a swarm of bluebottles all in and around the room, so i knock on her door and tell her to sort it out NOW cos i dont want them in my house. she drags everything out onto the front lawn (and there is a LOT of stuff!) and eventually she finds the cause, and this sums up how insane the old man is.........he loves watching butterflies and stuff, and has a sort of tick list each summer. so there is one kind which apparently has been spotted a couple of times on dead animal bodies, so what does he do? yep, he goes and gets some kind of meat and carries it in a plastic cup in the car to fecking cambridge or somewhere to try and lure thje butterfly. doesnt work of course. so he comes home and instead of binning it like a normal human he puts it on the ledge above the door inside the utility room. doesnt tell the wife, and forgets all about it. when she finds it, it is just a cup of maggots in a blackish green slime. one of the most sickening things i have ever had the misfortune to smell........ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
J Darcy 5,871 Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 here is a true story, bit off track but funny in a disgusting way. the family next door are a bit odd, proper scruffs and proper hoarders, place is like a fecking pig sty. they are also a couple of crackpots but they are pleasant enough in their own strange way. so one day the wife comes out of the outside utility room saying how much it stinks and she doesnt know why. this lasts for about a week, during which time the oldest daughter (in her 20s) thinks there is a problem with the plumbing as the bathroom stinks (it is above the utility room) and the old woman is getting more and more stressed about it. anyway one lunchtime i come home to find a swarm of bluebottles all in and around the room, so i knock on her door and tell her to sort it out NOW cos i dont want them in my house. she drags everything out onto the front lawn (and there is a LOT of stuff!) and eventually she finds the cause, and this sums up how insane the old man is.........he loves watching butterflies and stuff, and has a sort of tick list each summer. so there is one kind which apparently has been spotted a couple of times on dead animal bodies, so what does he do? yep, he goes and gets some kind of meat and carries it in a plastic cup in the car to fecking cambridge or somewhere to try and lure thje butterfly. doesnt work of course. so he comes home and instead of binning it like a normal human he puts it on the ledge above the door inside the utility room. doesnt tell the wife, and forgets all about it. when she finds it, it is just a cup of maggots in a blackish green slime. one of the most sickening things i have ever had the misfortune to smell........ It will have been the Purple Emperor he was trying to lure in...... :yes: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
lanesra 4,007 Posted May 9, 2016 Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 Socks did she sort that kitchen bloke out (it was you havin problems with your kitchen a while back ?) Quote Link to post Share on other sites
socks 32,253 Posted May 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2016 Socks did she sort that kitchen bloke out (it was you havin problems with your kitchen a while back ?) That was years back mate ... All ended very satisfactorily ..... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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