What Is The Protocol ?

[Astanley 11,621]

I was in a queue in a shop yesterday , a long queue of mostly women ,when I was about to be served I let out a 3 second deafeningly loud fart , a proper ass clapper , no smell ,but fuk me it was loud .

When I got home and told my Mrs , she was horrified and said I should of apologised ,instead of punching the air and shouting "you beauty " which is what I did ,.

The question is .in polite society , what should I have done ? kept quiet ? apologised ? made a joke ? blamed the paki behind the counter ?is there a protocol for this happening ?

[walshie 2,804]

Good for you. Call me old-fashioned, but I always thought it was the done thing to look accusingly at the woman next to you. .

[Malt 379]

Loud and proud all the way! It mortifies my mrs when I do it in public though, even when I try blaming it on the kids!

[haymin 2,465]

I would have said excuse me then something like I'm glad I never followed through there lol

[davis8008 65]

Should have asked if they sell underwear and have somewhere you could change

[Tiercel 6,986]

I ask if farts have lumps in them?

 

TC

[scothunter 12,609]

I'd have called u a dirty rude c**t

No need for that

[Astanley 11,621]

I'd have called u a dirty rude c**t

No need for that

Then you would have been a miserable , humourless prick , with a broken jaw .

[Flipper_Al 1,012]

There is a protocol.....

Loud no smell... claim it

Silent but deadly.... blame it

[The Seeker 3,048]

In a Florida hotel lift when on holiday I was going to reception. The lift was empty and only had one floor left to go so I let go a long silent fart, the type that burns a little as it leaves well the result was a smell which can not be compared to any other it was truley putrid,

 

Anyway I finally reached reception please to be leaving the rotting coffin when a young couple race to the lift and the guy just managed to stick his hands between the doors to stop them from closing and in they go.

 

As the doors were closing with less then an inch gap I heard the sound of retching and the bloke in a New York accent shouting "F*CKING HELL"

[gonetoearth 5,144]

Blame thatcher

[Waz 4,287]

In a Florida hotel lift when on holiday I was going to reception. The lift was empty and only had one floor left to go so I let go a long silent fart, the type that burns a little as it leaves well the result was a smell which can not be compared to any other it was truley putrid,

Anyway I finally reached reception please to be leaving the rotting coffin when a young couple race to the lift and the guy just managed to stick his hands between the doors to stop them from closing and in they go.

As the doors were closing with less then an inch gap I heard the sound of retching and the bloke in a New York accent shouting "F*CKING HELL"

 

/\ Class.

Edited March 20, 2014 by GD Waz

[scothunter 12,609]

 

 

I'd have called u a dirty rude c**t

No need for that

Then you would have been a miserable , humourless prick , with a broken jaw .

I seriously doubt that

[Outlaw Pete 2,224]

I know we've all seen this one before. But, it Still just left me in tears, again ....!

 

 

http://youtu.be/wJQoxdSFTJ0

 

 

 

[Astanley 11,621]

 

 

I'd have called u a dirty rude c**t

No need for that

Then you would have been a miserable , humourless prick , with a broken jaw .

I seriously doubt that

 

I dont