A New Year Tale......

[baw 4,360]

You know the routine, add a paragraph or 7, try keeping it to the story and see if we can keep it going to the new year.

 

After last years successful Christmas trip, the THL posse were meeting up for a get together at new year. The chosen venue was to climb Ben Nevis.

 

Baw, lab and scothunter decided they'd walk the west highland way starting in milngarvie and finish by climbing Ben Nevis in Fort William. They met up on Boxing Day all ready for the hike. Baw being a highland toughie was dressed in T shirt and jeans. Lab was wearing his kilt and scothunter was in a chimp suit. It wasn't the chimp suit that caught baws eye but the overly large rucksack he had on his back stuffed with big macs and a tea urn sticking out the top.

 

Off they went with lab skipping circles around them. After a mile Baw clocked the shapely ass of a female in the distance.... That bum looks familiar he said. Lab stopped skipping and looked in the direction of baws gaze. Scot took the china cup from his mouth and shouted SKYCAT. A buxom beauty turned round on the trio and flashed a smile, it was skycat.

 

As they approached she said shhhhh I'm watching a course. The boys stopped and watched with her. In the field opposite was a lurcher getting towed around a field. 2 guys were standing, one holding a stop watch the other a lurcher. At exactly 3 1/2 minutes one of them cried, he's tiering slip Lucas. Why he shouted is anyone's guess, you couldn't squeeze a fag paper between them. In a flash Lucas was off in hot pursuit making up ground on the flagging dog and laughing hare. Within seconds two dogs were getting towed around the field by the laughing leveret. After a minute of watching this plod feast Baw and the others got bored and started on their walk accompanied by the heaving breasted skycat.

 

As they began to walk lab fell flat on his. Someone had tied his laces together. A snigger came from a bush. It was socks, wilf and Darcy. Socks was wearing a mini skirt, high heels and a boob tube. Darcy was in full camouflage looking at skycats breasts through high powered binoculars. It was hard to tell what wilf was wearing, he had his arms and legs wrapped round Darcy straddling his back like a large rucksack. What you doing wilf asked Baw. I'm copying Peter Leechmouth I saw him doing it to gnasher as they passed 10 minutes ago. Socks tried to tie gnashers laces like he did labs but gnashers nibble footwork evaded him. It sounds like every ones walking the west highland way, who else you seen wilf? I've seen a large group ahead of them, it was Haymin, newkid, mo, stig, born hunter, tarquin, tomo(gasmark5, 35 mins) Kranky, Stan, Gem, Malt, Paulus, Walshie(the 3 ugly sisters) and a few others I couldn't make out. f**k me said Baw, gladly said wilf..... After a quick slap about the kisser, wilf returned to Darcy's back. We need to catch up with the others said lab as he gleefully danced into the distance. Wait for us shouted Goger dragging a f****d lucas and even more f****d pup, KC just nodded clutching his stop watch.

 

As they caught up with the crowd someone shouted, hello and welcome. No f***ing guesses who that was. They all passed pleasantries, eat 1/2 ton of clootie haymin had hid along the route at given points and thought it was a good time to make camp before it got dark.......

[baw 4,360]

As they all sat round the camp fire gnasher started telling stories of his boxing days..... Then his gangster days...... Then his hooligan days...... Then his love for west ham.... Everyone was bored and stopped listening after his gangster days apart from Peter and wilf. Darcy saw wilf admiringly gazing into gnashers eyes and the green eyes monster rose within. With a jealous below he started reminiscing of his terrier days..... His air gun days, ..... His stalking days, ..... His lurcher days...... His deer days..... His fishing days... Finishing by his catapult days..... They all headed for bed when tomo (gas mark 7, 35 mins) started talking baking.....

[Astanley 11,465]

The ragged bunch listened fascinated as Tomo regaled the with his tales from the kitchen ,Stan got up to put a log on the fire and as he bent over Skycat and Baw both stared transfixed at his buns of steal . "listen " Stan said in his commanding voice , " RFYL is not in this fuking story , he was killed off last year and you cant keep bringing him back , so no fuking RFYL "everyone nodded their heads in agreement and they decided there and then that Stan was the man to lead them to the summit...

[Astanley 11,465]

meanwhile at the top of the mountain sat the evil Brickie minshaw , he looked down at the climbers camp fire and stroked the jet black ,red eyed hell hound Kat , " let them come ,my beauty " he hissed in Kats ear "let them come ha ha ha ha ha ha ha "

[baw 4,360]

you've got us in Fortwilliam already ya fanny, we've still got Rannock moor to walk and ohh odd f***ing mile

[baw 4,360]

As Stan bent over the fire walshie took aim and with a well aimed boot, kicked Stan up the arse. That's my fire he shouted, only us mods can touch it, you peasants can bring the wood, only us chosen ones get to stoke the fire....

[R.A.W 1,987]

At that point the whole group shudders with the deathly laugh that floated down the hill side. The group took refuge under the THL fishing banner in the hope it would repel the the beasts that lay ahead. Being so wrapped in fear the failed to notice the arrivals to the camp the silence was broken by " Come butt wa you lot doin under there mun ". All at once they raised they're eyes above the banner not showing theres of there face, to see Jesus Christ himself stood with a man half his height.........

[baw 4,360]

Little Johnny surveyed the motley crew as they all huddled trying to get any heat that managed to escape past malt, paulus and walshie. Where's scothunter asked little Johnny. Oh he went to his bed hours ago cuddling a tea cosy.

[walshie 2,804]

Johnny eyed up Baw. "Didn't expect to see you here butty. You normally make all the noise then bottle it at the last minute." Paulus was busy engraving his name on the firewood so the mere mortals couldn't have any.

[Astanley 11,465]

Stan decided to relinquish his role as leader , "obviously topography is not my strong point " he explained to the crestfallen followers ,

meanwhile at the top of Ben Nevis the evil Bricky minshaw nodded in satisfaction that Baws petty fukin nit picking had already created a rift in the group.....

[R.A.W 1,987]

which further erupted when paulus started to swoop his fire wood for I.P address so that they could be gifted to friends ...........

[Astanley 11,465]

....as the group sat round the camp fire , Gem looked in Labs direction , she noticed the way the flames of the fire made his eyes sparkle ,the way his strong manly profile was sillouted by the light , their eyes met and she felt the familiar stirring in her loins ,she knew she had to have this man , as she rose to sit next to him she left the tell tale wet patch on the seat she had left , Lust had overcome any sense of decency and she brazenly reached up under his kilt , Lust ,desire and sexual need vanished in an instant , she pulled her hand away in revulsion ,desparatly suppressing the need to vomit ,she now knew the full horror of Labs dirty secret , it was to prove a heavy burden for her to carry ....too heavy

[baw 4,360]

Stan decided to relinquish his role as leader , "obviously topography is not my strong point " he explained to the crestfallen followers ,

meanwhile at the top of Ben Nevis the evil Bricky minshaw nodded in satisfaction that Baws petty fukin nit picking had already created a rift in the group.....

[baw 4,360]

well done lads, need more folk contributing, don't be shy

[baw 4,360]

Baw wisely putted walshie straight by declaring he said at the beginning he wasn't going to the fishing competition and pointed to the lushes socks and Darcy smitten wilf as the 2 last minute bottlers..... Walshie was having none of it and the greenhorn banished Baw to mo's tent