baw 4,360 Posted December 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 gnasher looked up, his eyes got attracted to the large crack in the windscreen.... He felt under the seat...... Yip, a f***ing rat trap.... But it can't be, he rubbed his eyes, looked out the window for the police escort that escorts him every time he's on a coach, they were no where to be seen..... 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted December 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 Hi gnasher max said as he turned to face him with a grin. Just when gnasher thought his day couldn't have gotten any worse, max started pointing out laundrets on route, the price he paid for a mars bar and a coffee and you'll never guess, it was in a plastic cup!!! Just as gnasher was giving up the will to live he heard a thump behind him..... Then another..... Then a beet root face pressed against the emergency door.... After 25 miles Peter had finally caught the bus. With a yank the door opened and gnasher was pulled to safety by Peter. Peter was on deaths door but the quick thinking gnasher planked his mouth on him and resuscitated him. They heard the brakes of the bus skid to a halt and slammed into reverse..... . Beep ..... Beep .... Beep ....gnash shouted, f**k that sounds like Kranky... 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
skycat 6,172 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 .... little did the intrepid gang know, but they were being stalked by a pack of unholy pigs (the four legged kind), bristling and huge they were, with tusks more suited to those of an elephant. "Oh-oh-oh" cried Baw. "They are the Hell Pigs from Rannoch, sworn to protect all that lives on the moor. We are undone!" "Your'e dead right your'e undone" replied Socks, looking hard at Baw's flies, where a morsel of pink flesh was showing between the teeth of the zip. "I'd get that wee man outa sight if I were you. I've heard those pigs are partial to a bit of tender meat from time to time". Everyone fell about laughing at this, but Skycat took pity on Baw and kindly zipped him up again, though Gem was hard put to control her jealousy at the sight of Baw's bits so close to Skycat's fingers. "No time for that sort of thing!" shouted Gnasher, "Them pigs are closing fast and we're hunnereds of yards from that bluidy bus!" The ground shook with the beat of many cloven hooves as the pigs tore down on the hapless travellers. Steam snorted from the red-lined nostrils of the beasts, and their eyes glowed red with rage. Up the road, R.A.W. bravely put the brakes on, and actually started to reverse so the fleeing gang could get to the bus, but his piglet kept screaming at him to go faster. (At this point I should explain that the piglet was actually a clever disguise, not a piglet at all, but a wee lad who had been unfairly transformed into a mini-pig by a wicked witch: can anyone guess who he was??????????) 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
baw 4,360 Posted December 28, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 skycat's here at last :clapper: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
walshie 2,804 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 Skycat said to Baw "Good to see you all. Is Suzy with you?" Baw blushed and said "I dinnae ken who ya mean." The hint of lipstick on his mouth and his one clip-on earring was a bit of a giveaway, but everyone pretended not to notice Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Davro 108 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 It was getting late gnasher was back with a better a attitude an the bus load bunnys that Aaron had supplied.Socks felled a few trees for the camp fire an scott parted with his weeks groceries for tea bunny an beans it was. Skycat an suzy were exchanging makeup tips while gem give the evil eye as she stared the cauldron. The banter was great until tomo an little johnny turned it into a scene from blazing saddles Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Astanley 11,465 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 .......as the group trudged wearily onward , an air of despondency seemed to have settled over the intrepid travellers , Lab Had an idea to lift the spirits , "lets have a sing song " he shouted , " you Welsh lads can start it off , like a male voice choir " , a little feminine voice with a slight lisp was heard " but I haven't got a male voice "squeaked Johnny Boy ,,. Gnasher raised his hand and told everyone he knew the first two verses of ,,Maybe its because Im a Londoner ,,"shut it you slaaaaag " growled Max , who had picked up a cockney accent on his trip to West ham . The silence seemed to lower spirits more than ever ,and in a last ditch effort to rally the troops Baw played his trump card ,,,,TAA DAAA he cried as he grabbed Labs kilt and raised it over his head , the group stood transfixed at the horrific but strangely compelling sight that confronted them ,........... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
twobob 1,458 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 it was ruby putting a side parting in labs ginger mot 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Joe67 239 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 Nothernlite, Scothunter and Rakeaboot were walking in the woods not far from the rest of THL gang when they came across some tracks! Nothernlite said these tracks belong to a fox.. Scothunter said no mate, no way! these belong to a deer... Then Rakeaboot shouted no ya fannys, these tracks belong to a EU polecats.. Nothernlite and Scothunter looked at each other and started laughing.... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bird 9,593 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 Rake said there only 1 man on this earth lads who would them tracks, and its the Mighty Whin, out come the mob, whin said there no way is that deer, rake said are you sure, whin said you know me im never wrong lol. , wait lads i text bird see if Buck on the loose carnt get through bad reception, feck me lads what the hell are them tracks Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NEWKID 26,158 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 The bus had finally pulled up to its destination, Max was doing a " in your face" dance to Gnash, as they had arrived with no police escort... He then dragged him to the pub and straight into the shitter... " see.... No bog seats" came the triumphant cry... Gnasher admitted defeat and was comforted ( a little enthusiastically) by Peter.... But then came an ear deathening cry.... Aaaaaaayyyyeah.... Like some deranged version of Daniel son, the Kung fu kid himself stormed the coach.... " where is he" the Bruce lee reincarnation screamed...It was Kranky... The surrey serial killer had arrived... Scott didn't give a f**k, he was smoking tea leaves and happy as a pig in shit, lab was desperately trying to get Tarquin out from under his kilt, as he could see his chances with Gem, slipping away.... Finally he got him in a good grip, and started a spin that only a great hammer thrower can pull off, with a huge "aaaaaaahhhhrrrrr" the poor Virgin was thrown, it was a great throw and the whole party got to their feet and started to clap....Gem swooned as did Skycat, even Mo stopped sucking up to Baw and looked at the Ginger Adonis in a new way, all thoughts of the acorn had disappeared.... It was time to move on the party had stopped for too long, their enemies were not far behind, the cracked window on the bus had now spread and the 2 drivers 1 female, decided they would drive no more, the party were back on foot, and a long way from their destination.... Somehow they'd travelled from the highlands, to a road parallel to Denbeigh Road..... How would they get back on the right track.....? 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
THE STIFFMEISTER 14,558 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) Stiffmeister rocked up kicked f**k out of the lot of them, in fact no he aimed straight at wilf, threw him about like an empty track suit for ten mins before heading back to vallhallah , The end Edited December 28, 2013 by THE STIFFMEISTER 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
R.A.W 1,987 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 Stiffmeister rocked up and tried to kicked f**k out of the lot of them, in fact no he aimed straight at wilf, but gem stepped in followed by mo who took his wrist and began a delicate Chinese burn. He dropped to his Knees and flapped about like an empty track suit in a gale force ten before putting his head back and begging for mercy Would the mighty mo subside her grip before the stiffmiesta reviled his true feelings for wilf ? his eye closed and his life flashed before his eyes. He wished the copious amounts of alcohol that fueled his charge on the bus wouldn't begin to wane."OK OK" he shouted . " Let me go and I'll kiss lab under the kilt" he pleaded. Labs eyes lite up " LET HIM GO" lab bellowed.........."Only if RAW will let me hold his piglet" said mo Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TOMO 24,860 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 The bus had finally pulled up to its destination, Max was doing a " in your face" dance to Gnash, as they had arrived with no police escort... He then dragged him to the pub and straight into the shitter... " see.... No bog seats" came the triumphant cry... Gnasher admitted defeat and was comforted ( a little enthusiastically) by Peter.... But then came an ear deathening cry.... Aaaaaaayyyyeah.... Like some deranged version of Daniel son, the Kung fu kid himself stormed the coach.... " where is he" the Bruce lee reincarnation screamed...It was Kranky... The surrey serial killer had arrived... Scott didn't give a f**k, he was smoking tea leaves and happy as a pig in shit, lab was desperately trying to get Tarquin out from under his kilt, as he could see his chances with Gem, slipping away.... Finally he got him in a good grip, and started a spin that only a great hammer thrower can pull off, with a huge "aaaaaaahhhhrrrrr" the poor Virgin was thrown, it was a great throw and the whole party got to their feet and started to clap....Gem swooned as did Skycat, even Mo stopped sucking up to Baw and looked at the Ginger Adonis in a new way, all thoughts of the acorn had disappeared.... It was time to move on the party had stopped for too long, their enemies were not far behind, the cracked window on the bus had now spread and the 2 drivers 1 female, decided they would drive no more, the party were back on foot, and a long way from their destination.... Somehow they'd travelled from the highlands, to a road parallel to Denbeigh Road..... How would they get back on the right track.....? A road parallel to Denbigh road ,,,,brilliant ,,,,lol I couldnt remember the name of it earlier 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
the_stig 6,614 Posted December 28, 2013 Report Share Posted December 28, 2013 (edited) newkid welcomed late arrivals and handed out weapons in exchange for silverware for lab Edited December 28, 2013 by the_stig 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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