kenny14 656 Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 This kind of fits in with the theme although it wasn't me that was humiliated. When I lived with my ex wife and her kids (son of 17, daughter of 13), we had quite a big three storey house so it wasn't always possible to hear everything that was going on throughout the house. One day we noticed that her daughter suddenly started wanting to stay at home whenever we went anywhere, we sort of assumed it was cos she was a teenager so was embarrassed or whatever. But one day we went to go to the shop and she stayed at home as usual........only this time I'd forgotten my debit card so we had to go back. I went in and wasn't being particularly quiet or anything and as I got to the middle floor (card was in my slacks on the bedroom floor) I heard a wierd sound, couldn't quite work out what it was but as I went up the second set of stairs it was getting louder, went into the bedroom and the noise was coming from the en suite, went round the corner and there she was....her daughter friggin herself off with MY electric toothbrush!!!! Bizarrely (although not out of character at all!!!), my ex wife said it was my fault for not making it known that I was entering the room!!!! f'ck me that one is a nutcase! Can you imagine anything more mortifying for a 13 year old girl though??? she didn't come out of her room for about a week!!!! f*****g hell mate! i'd feel right out of place seeing that,, find the bit how its your fault funny as f**k ahaha but how dose one go about telling the wife about what you'd found her kid doing?? It was fookin bad pal, bear in mind I met my wife when her daughter was 7 so she was almost seen as my own daughter! I was fuming at the time cos I didn't know how many times she'd done it! I just went straight downstairs and said to her "you better go and ask your daughter what she's been doing with my toothbrush while we've been out!".....it didn't need much explanation to be fair. I could give you a million examples of her blaming me for things that were a million percent not my fault pal, that's why she's an EX wife! f'ckin loon! Women like that are way too common rob! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Moll. 1,770 Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 Had been out on a long, long day, long journey ferreting last year. It was really late when i got home, and by the time i had seen to all the livestock i just collapsed in bed. I had forgotten to set my alarm for a hospital appointment the next day and had overslept. It was a case of jumping out of bed into my clothes and straight out the door for the hours drive, no time for anything. It was a gynaecologist appointment but just a follow up from a previous one so no examination required. It was not my normal consultant but a young SHO, who did require an examination, i gave my excuses and had to quickly nip into the loo to give the old Mary a quick wash. Relieved that a bad situation had been quickly resolved i dis-robed my lower half, got onto the table knees bent, ankles together, legs akimbo. It was at this point i looked down and saw two, 4" greeny/brown bands of mud and sheep poo about boot neck height around each calf I started frantically mumbling excuses about ferreting, and trying to rub it off with my fingers. The doctor never said a word and the nurse just gave me one of those pitying, knowing smiles Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob190364 2,593 Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 Had been out on a long, long day, long journey ferreting last year. It was really late when i got home, and by the time i had seen to all the livestock i just collapsed in bed. I had forgotten to set my alarm for a hospital appointment the next day and had overslept. It was a case of jumping out of bed into my clothes and straight out the door for the hours drive, no time for anything. It was a gynaecologist appointment but just a follow up from a previous one so no examination required. It was not my normal consultant but a young SHO, who did require an examination, i gave my excuses and had to quickly nip into the loo to give the old Mary a quick wash. Relieved that a bad situation had been quickly resolved i dis-robed my lower half, got onto the table knees bent, ankles together, legs akimbo. It was at this point i looked down and saw two, 4" greeny/brown bands of mud and sheep poo about boot neck height around each calf I started frantically mumbling excuses about ferreting, and trying to rub it off with my fingers. The doctor never said a word and the nurse just gave me one of those pitying, knowing smiles phew, just welly marks.....I won't lie to you moll, I was a bit nervous about the outcome of that story!! I thought a ferret was going to pop out and bite the doctor or something :laugh: :laugh: 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Malt 379 Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 Had been out on a long, long day, long journey ferreting last year. It was really late when i got home, and by the time i had seen to all the livestock i just collapsed in bed. I had forgotten to set my alarm for a hospital appointment the next day and had overslept. It was a case of jumping out of bed into my clothes and straight out the door for the hours drive, no time for anything. It was a gynaecologist appointment but just a follow up from a previous one so no examination required. It was not my normal consultant but a young SHO, who did require an examination, i gave my excuses and had to quickly nip into the loo to give the old Mary a quick wash. Relieved that a bad situation had been quickly resolved i dis-robed my lower half, got onto the table knees bent, ankles together, legs akimbo. It was at this point i looked down and saw two, 4" greeny/brown bands of mud and sheep poo about boot neck height around each calf I started frantically mumbling excuses about ferreting, and trying to rub it off with my fingers. The doctor never said a word and the nurse just gave me one of those pitying, knowing smiles phew, just welly marks.....I won't lie to you moll, I was a bit nervous about the outcome of that story!! I thought a ferret was going to pop out and bite the doctor or something :laugh: :laugh: FFS Rob!!! :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
rob190364 2,593 Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 Had been out on a long, long day, long journey ferreting last year. It was really late when i got home, and by the time i had seen to all the livestock i just collapsed in bed. I had forgotten to set my alarm for a hospital appointment the next day and had overslept. It was a case of jumping out of bed into my clothes and straight out the door for the hours drive, no time for anything. It was a gynaecologist appointment but just a follow up from a previous one so no examination required. It was not my normal consultant but a young SHO, who did require an examination, i gave my excuses and had to quickly nip into the loo to give the old Mary a quick wash. Relieved that a bad situation had been quickly resolved i dis-robed my lower half, got onto the table knees bent, ankles together, legs akimbo. It was at this point i looked down and saw two, 4" greeny/brown bands of mud and sheep poo about boot neck height around each calf I started frantically mumbling excuses about ferreting, and trying to rub it off with my fingers. The doctor never said a word and the nurse just gave me one of those pitying, knowing smiles phew, just welly marks.....I won't lie to you moll, I was a bit nervous about the outcome of that story!! I thought a ferret was going to pop out and bite the doctor or something :laugh: :laugh: FFS Rob!!! :laugh: don't blame me!!! I didn't put it in there!! I just hope she remembered to activate the locator collar, it could be gone forever!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LUMPHAMMER 324 Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 f**k me rob your quick as fcuk Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Moll. 1,770 Posted November 2, 2011 Report Share Posted November 2, 2011 don't blame me!!! I didn't put it in there!! I just hope she remembered to activate the locator collar, it could be gone forever!! Rotflmfao :laugh: Quote Link to post Share on other sites
bigbarnett 33 Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 Ill cut a long storey short,,,, I was about 18/19 and going out with a real babe legs to her arse then they got cheeky,,, well one sunday mom and dad had gone out for the day.. well after lunch we were well getting it on ,,, music playing bed creeking you can imagine the scene...... mmm music , not such a good idea,,,,,,,,,, i never heard the front door open or the footsteps on the stairs,,,, door flew open there stood Dad,,,,,, at this point the now ex wife was giving the reverse cowgirl a try for all she was worth, hands flew over her boobs but her bum never stopped. Dad left not saying a word.. So next day i was ready for the riot act. Well at this time i worked with my Dad ( he was the gaffa ) well i made the morning tea and took his in to his office,,,, he slowly looked up from his paper and said,,,,,,,,,,,,, f***k me what a pair of t**s ,,,,,,,,,, and never again mentioned it ,,,,,, just glad he never told my mom what a man your dad was Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cheesegreater 61 Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 (edited) This kind of fits in with the theme although it wasn't me that was humiliated. When I lived with my ex wife and her kids (son of 17, daughter of 13), we had quite a big three storey house so it wasn't always possible to hear everything that was going on throughout the house. One day we noticed that her daughter suddenly started wanting to stay at home whenever we went anywhere, we sort of assumed it was cos she was a teenager so was embarrassed or whatever. But one day we went to go to the shop and she stayed at home as usual........only this time I'd forgotten my debit card so we had to go back. I went in and wasn't being particularly quiet or anything and as I got to the middle floor (card was in my slacks on the bedroom floor) I heard a wierd sound, couldn't quite work out what it was but as I went up the second set of stairs it was getting louder, went into the bedroom and the noise was coming from the en suite, went round the corner and there she was....her daughter friggin herself off with MY electric toothbrush!!!! Bizarrely (although not out of character at all!!!), my ex wife said it was my fault for not making it known that I was entering the room!!!! f'ck me that one is a nutcase! Can you imagine anything more mortifying for a 13 year old girl though??? she didn't come out of her room for about a week!!!! 13 yrs ffs are you some kind of paedo Edited November 11, 2011 by cheesegreater Quote Link to post Share on other sites
hairyface 211 Posted November 12, 2011 Report Share Posted November 12, 2011 This kind of fits in with the theme although it wasn't me that was humiliated. When I lived with my ex wife and her kids (son of 17, daughter of 13), we had quite a big three storey house so it wasn't always possible to hear everything that was going on throughout the house. One day we noticed that her daughter suddenly started wanting to stay at home whenever we went anywhere, we sort of assumed it was cos she was a teenager so was embarrassed or whatever. But one day we went to go to the shop and she stayed at home as usual........only this time I'd forgotten my debit card so we had to go back. I went in and wasn't being particularly quiet or anything and as I got to the middle floor (card was in my slacks on the bedroom floor) I heard a wierd sound, couldn't quite work out what it was but as I went up the second set of stairs it was getting louder, went into the bedroom and the noise was coming from the en suite, went round the corner and there she was....her daughter friggin herself off with MY electric toothbrush!!!! Bizarrely (although not out of character at all!!!), my ex wife said it was my fault for not making it known that I was entering the room!!!! f'ck me that one is a nutcase! Can you imagine anything more mortifying for a 13 year old girl though??? she didn't come out of her room for about a week!!!! 13 yrs ffs are you some kind of paedo how does that make him a paedo you knucklehead Quote Link to post Share on other sites
yorkshirehunter 27 Posted November 12, 2011 Report Share Posted November 12, 2011 This kind of fits in with the theme although it wasn't me that was humiliated. When I lived with my ex wife and her kids (son of 17, daughter of 13), we had quite a big three storey house so it wasn't always possible to hear everything that was going on throughout the house. One day we noticed that her daughter suddenly started wanting to stay at home whenever we went anywhere, we sort of assumed it was cos she was a teenager so was embarrassed or whatever. But one day we went to go to the shop and she stayed at home as usual........only this time I'd forgotten my debit card so we had to go back. I went in and wasn't being particularly quiet or anything and as I got to the middle floor (card was in my slacks on the bedroom floor) I heard a wierd sound, couldn't quite work out what it was but as I went up the second set of stairs it was getting louder, went into the bedroom and the noise was coming from the en suite, went round the corner and there she was....her daughter friggin herself off with MY electric toothbrush!!!! Bizarrely (although not out of character at all!!!), my ex wife said it was my fault for not making it known that I was entering the room!!!! f'ck me that one is a nutcase! Can you imagine anything more mortifying for a 13 year old girl though??? she didn't come out of her room for about a week!!!! 13 yrs ffs are you some kind of paedo how does that make him a paedo you knucklehead knucklehead hahaha your right like pal Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blackfell 16 Posted November 12, 2011 Report Share Posted November 12, 2011 i got caught by me ma going down on my girlfriend when i was about 15, she walked in on us,anyway was told to walk her home, i was shitting meself thinking what the old chap would do . so i didnt go home straight away, wonderd about in the pissing rain fretting crepped into the house and mum had gone to bed and dad called me into the living room,and sat me down and said ,down let your mum catch you doing that again, and make sure you clean your teeth before bed !!!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
blan89 159 Posted November 12, 2011 Report Share Posted November 12, 2011 i got caught by me ma going down on my girlfriend when i was about 15, she walked in on us,anyway was told to walk her home, i was shitting meself thinking what the old chap would do . so i didnt go home straight away, wonderd about in the pissing rain fretting crepped into the house and mum had gone to bed and dad called me into the living room,and sat me down and said ,down let your mum catch you doing that again, and make sure you clean your teeth before bed !!!!! lol i've had a similar episode but it was my dad who walked in and i was too pissed to get embarrassed,luckily my dad just awkwardly pretends stuff like that never happened. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
greatwhitehunter 47 Posted November 12, 2011 Report Share Posted November 12, 2011 home alone-i was busting one out in the bath ears under the water and my eyes closed GOING FOR GOLD! next minute something moved in the way of the light, opened my eyes to see my dad in f*king stiches laughing at me. i havent had a bath since.. i have showers instead Quote Link to post Share on other sites
just jack 997 Posted November 12, 2011 Report Share Posted November 12, 2011 home alone-i was busting one out in the bath ears under the water and my eyes closed GOING FOR GOLD! next minute something moved in the way of the light, opened my eyes to see my dad in f*king stiches laughing at me. i havent had a bath since.. i have showers instead could have been worse greatwhitefister your ole fella could be tugging like fook enjoy the shower Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.