It shouldn't happen to a lamper

[undisputed 1,664]

I enjoyed reading that undi :laugh:

 

Cheers! And thanks to all the contributers got a few more funnys i'll stick up later

[scent 509]

i feel down one night through a load of hay bales .A mate of mine killed a fox one day and was carrying it over his shoulder down the field to give the cover dogs a rag and low and behold the fox looked at him and he dropped it and the fox landed like a cat lol

[percho50 46]

30 odd years ago I bought a ready made dog , the fella ( who must have seen me coming ) told me it was a killing machine , kept his family fed etc , and it certainly looked the part , muscels on muscels and an intense look about it that just screamed killer . Gathered all my mates together to witness what my new dog could do , even took a couple of bookings for matings just on the strength of my boasting ,big night came ,slipped dog on bunny dog had no problem getting to the rabbit , held it with one paw got comfortable and then humped a screaming rabbit for 5 mins . two of the lads with me actually cried laughing.

The 45 min walk home with 4 lads abusing and laughing at you , dragging a dog whos big red knob was still nearly touching the floor ,seemed like the longest 45 min of my life.

 

THAT WAS A VERY CLEVER DOG THAT,NO SENSE IN HUMPING A DEAD RABBIT

[undisputed 1,664]

This is another one from the memoirs A group of us were ferreting in Largo many moons ago and the bit we were doing was across from an old fellah who lived in this big massive house. Anyways for some reason he took exception to us ferreting and came out and had a go about this being COS land and we should get lost before he called in the police. Now this was a strange one cause he was usually quite a genial old guy and even let us ferret his garden the year before Now there's anothewr story connected to this involving the old fellah's donkey that he kept in his garden but thats for another time suffice to say when we were leaving the week before having been lamping we met this donkey walking down the middle of the road about 5.00am and nearly knocked the bloody thing down Anyway I digress. To placate the old fellah we moved further up the beach so's not to antagonise him. So a few rabbits in we were standing waiting at another burrow waiting for the bunnies to bolt when the busy's appear

 

So they come over and it's the usual what you up to lad's ferreting officer was the reply. Hope your not coursing hares (which we wern't) nope officer havn't seen hares here for a long time and just as these immortal word were uttered guess what came flying out the burrow...yup a big fecking hare . One of the coppers who obviously knew his rabbits from his hares pipes up that's no rabbit lads.....by luck we had the dogs on leads at the time....I think the cops could tell by the look on our faces that we had no idea a hare was occupying the burrow....anyway the dogs are kicking off and trying to break away when one of the guy's dogs slips out the collar and bolts after the hare which by that time was about 300yrds away and motoring ....So I'm like don't worry officer it will never catch the bloody thing. Well the dog gets up along side the hare and turns it back in our direction and there's twists and turns here and there and we're all silently praying head for another burrow please god Well one more turn and bang the dog takes the hare beautifully and we're panicking....so I ran over and rescued the bloody thing.....lucky for puss the dog was extremely soft mouthed so put the dog back on the lead and the hare made off safe and sound. Turned to face the music with th cops who to be fair were laughing and one of them says to us fare enjoyed that just stay away from the old fellah and left us to get on with it Still have no idea why the hare was in the burrow in the first place

[Work them hard 339]

Cracking thread this

[judge2010 196]

edited

Edited August 6, 2011 by judge2010

[TOMO 24,911]

briliant read that undisputed,,

[artic 595]

One cold winters night I decided to have a small walk on a few fields around the village. This visit wasn't planned, so on the cuff I filled the flask with coffee, and wrapped like a mummy I leave the house. Only the one dog as the other was still in recovery mode.

 

Once I got to the first field a quick sweep with the lamp showed nothing of interest to me. As I got to one of many kissing gates, I send the dog over. He patiently waits with anticipation for his owner to follow.

 

Now I was standing in a warm patch, you know, you must of felt them, one minute it’s cold air, the next it’s warm, or should I say warmer. I needed a piss, and needed it quickly.

 

Now it’s 1am, and for some reason I looked around to see if anyone was watching, then slowly and carefully I begin to walk down a decline leading to some water, WHACK, I hit my head on a low branch, instinct brings both of my hands to my head, I loose grip and fall down onto my bottom, then bounced forward onto my palms sliding down the slope and into the water. My chest had cracked the lens to my lamp, my clothes were soaked through, and one warm fecking leg.

 

I can honestly say I pissed myself!

[undisputed 1,664]

One cold winters night I decided to have a small walk on a few fields around the village. This visit wasn't planned, so on the cuff I filled the flask with coffee, and wrapped like a mummy I leave the house. Only the one dog as the other was still in recovery mode.

 

Once I got to the first field a quick sweep with the lamp showed nothing of interest to me. As I got to one of many kissing gates, I send the dog over. He patiently waits with anticipation for his owner to follow.

 

Now I was standing in a warm patch, you know, you must of felt them, one minute it’s cold air, the next it’s warm, or should I say warmer. I needed a piss, and needed it quickly.

 

Now it’s 1am, and for some reason I looked around to see if anyone was watching, then slowly and carefully I begin to walk down a decline leading to some water, WHACK, I hit my head on a low branch, instinct brings both of my hands to my head, I loose grip and fall down onto my bottom, then bounced forward onto my palms sliding down the slope and into the water. My chest had cracked the lens to my lamp, my clothes were soaked through, and one warm fecking leg.

 

I can honestly say I pissed myself!

 

:laugh: Class mate

[suffolkpoacher 219]

good reading lads

[staffs riffraff 1,068]

This is a thread and what thl should be about

[scothunter 12,609]

some really good stories lads.undi yours had me in stiches.very good thread

[hullhunter 219]

well i was out lamping with by brother we had seen a few rabbits across this ditch witch was quite a wide one. so i jumped over it first and lamped it for my brother so he could see were he was jumping. he got this massive run up and went for the jump but as his feet left the ground his foot got stuck on some bramble bushes and he face planted into the other side of the ditch then slid down into the water. when he got out it looked like he had a face mask on. well by the time i stopped lathing there was not a rabbit in site.

 

then there was the time i took the bloke from next door lamping (he was a total plonker ) there was this electric fence witch is a proper beast so i started to role under it as i was half way he grabbed it with both hands i was just about to say dont touch it but it was to late. well ive never seen a face like it in my life he got stuck to the fence then it spat him off onto his back. then he sat up and started shaking. to say i was pissing my self would be the under statement of the year. he did not see the funny side and was sulking for the rest of the night.

[morton 5,367]

I used to take this fat fella to carry the caught bunny's,walking a field one day we see the farmer flying towards us in is Lanny,i knew if we could get to a fence close by the farmer could'nt drive through and we 'd be away,got to the fence and i nipped over,my mate was struggling with his weight and the bag of rabbits,he cocked one leg over lost his footing,caught his jeans and ripped his jeans and his skidders remained stuck to the wire,my mate was upside down screaming for assistance with the biggest,hairiest bollocks ive ever seen caught up in the barbed wire,i fell about in hysterics,i was laughing that much i did'nt realise the farmer had parked up,the farmer was watching me thinking i was demented,he then looked at my mate and erupted into uncontrolled laughter.After finally rescuing the unfortunate soul and taking an earbashing from the farmer we made our way home,one of us more gingerly than the other.

[FightTheBan 1,147]

I used to take this fat fella to carry the caught bunny's,walking a field one day we see the farmer flying towards us in is Lanny,i knew if we could get to a fence close by the farmer could'nt drive through and we 'd be away,got to the fence and i nipped over,my mate was struggling with his weight and the bag of rabbits,he cocked one leg over lost his footing,caught his jeans and ripped his jeans and his skidders remained stuck to the wire,my mate was upside down screaming for assistance with the biggest,hairiest bollocks ive ever seen caught up in the barbed wire,i fell about in hysterics,i was laughing that much i did'nt realise the farmer had parked up,the farmer was watching me thinking i was demented,he then looked at my mate and erupted into uncontrolled laughter.After finally rescuing the unfortunate soul and taking an earbashing from the farmer we made our way home,one of us more gingerly than the other.

 

 

FTB