jukel123
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Everything posted by jukel123
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Exactly. Total unoriginal shit. Bit embarrassing really. Thank f**k my grandkids are in their late teens and are past all that . I'm sure a lot of black on black crime is generated by ' lowlife crime' rap. Why young white kids lap it up is beyond me. Christ, I mentioned the 'b' word.......Take cover. Here comes Wilf.
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According to my age, I shouldn't like rap. But that's incorrect, some of it is great. I have quite a few tracks on my phone. Alex Ferguson likes it too! But in twenty years time, people will laugh themselves stupid at the clichéd movements that all rappers perform. The crossed arms, the knife to the throat, the victim lyrics, Ffs. Something original please!
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I do mate. Cheaper oop North. £ 60.00. I have a bi annual appointment with a very young and comely female Indian audiologist, complete with Sarong, who works at Specsavers. She is exquisitely beautiful with a very feminine air and greets me like a firm favourite. She's very tactile. Pats my hand and asks if I'm OK every few seconds. I don't need it done twice a year. I just go for the heavenly, somewhat pervy experience. Its the only pleasure I have.
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I used to do shutdowns. When firms closed down for holidays we would go in and do all the outstanding electrical, plumbing, heating jobs. We would also do painting, industrial cleaning plastering etc. I had a verbal agreement with the men that at the end of the job, each, regardless of their trade, would muck in for painting cleaning etc. In return, if we got everything done on time, they would get a massive bonus. That meant I would also get a bonus because I would probably be awarded with the contract the following year. So two days before we were contracted to finish, a delegat
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Oh very funny. As an employer you had a duty of care to that young man. He could have had a metabolic disorder which meant he had to eat regularly. You failed to appreciate that young people are addicted to fast food. I hope he was in a union. If so the union's lawyers should sue you until the pips squeeze. Bullying is never acceptable in the workplace. You were guilty of accent discrimination as soon as the poor young man opened his mouth. You should be blacklisted as an employer forthwith. You are the living embodiment of capitalist mill owners of the past
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https://youtu.be/qBtsURiRZSs?si=Mf1POnJl8aRSYL9h https://youtu.be/y0TxfwB3BWQ?si=iOKyTYaaGP_vD8y7 https://youtu.be/FpYxhVEyOdI?si=e0dUCGAyQHMAsx9u https://youtu.be/ebviKewRtvc?si=Ub0FihlkfEjzOTVL
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The good thing about hearing aids is they have an 'off' button . I'm convinced women have a biological need to talk. We are just going out now for coffee in a garden centre. We are meeting up with another couple. Me and the bloke will say next to nowt in the car, maybe grunt and talk about the football a bit. When we get to the garden centre we will swap the free papers they provide and drink several pots of tea. We might adjust the arse cheeks to fart a bit, but say very little. The women folk will compete for constant, incessant air time, they never, ever stop. That's wh
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Clean yer f****n ears out.
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Glad you've converted bud.
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That's Orwellian mate.
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I wear them. NHS ones are just as good as private. They supply Bluetooth ones now with an app. Brilliant. I've also got a tiny box which connects my hearing aids direct to the telly. Since you are obviously getting on a bit. I can give lots of advice on the ageing process. Industrial strength Viagra, wicker coffins, Tena for men, best pills for arthritis and the cost of installing a bidet. I'm always here for you.
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I used to work for a building company. The owner was a really decent bloke. Paid top dollar and, unless you took the piss was very easy going . He did us lots of favours and in return we grafted away without supervision. So his son fresh from uni with a Micky Mouse degree joins the firm. He decided he would fix what wasn't broken. His big idea was to introduce a clocking on machine. " To improve efficiency ." The first week it was kicked off its fixings. Only to be re_fixed. The second week it was placed in a barrel of water and was rendered knackered. A n
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This is a tricky one. Try the following.... 1) A daily and not six monthly shower. 2) Capturing snot in a clean handkerchief and not blowing it with one finger onto the hospital floor . 3) (And this is crucial.) Stop exposing your genitalia to passing nurses and inviting them to perform sex acts on your unwashed penis. 4) Do not wear your prominent love heart pendant featuring your favourite sheep around your neck. 5) Try to not shout lewd or racist remarks at passing hospital staff. Worked for me bud. Hope this helps.
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https://youtu.be/CjM89wRMY9I?si=Ie4f8Bo5L9RCXgN-
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Believe this if you will . When our club go off to fish different rivers in Scotland my friend and I always share a hotel room. He's a multimillionaire who owns thousands of acres. His former school is Eton. He spent his early years in a state school, thinks most Etonites are areseholes and prefers the companionship of ordinary blokes. We have the occasional tiff about politics but mostly we talk about fishing , family and sport. We fell out once. He asked me if I wanted to clean his windows as he didn't trust anyone snooping around his house. I was short with him and asked
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Thanks for the offer Mac. But by the time I've emptied my colostomy bag and pee bag, and received electric shock therapy to start my heart, the day would be over. Tbh, I don't travel well and prefer my home patch. Anyway, are you sure you could handle my quoting Marx and Mao on my soapbox all day?. You would throw me in the river.
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Geez. That's fantastic mate. Brilliant!
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Unfortunately, you've got to live near the river and pick your conditions. Then you can haunt the river until your luck turns. I don't really believe in luck. It's just persistence and conditions. When you are retired, you'll get one. You will be free to go at the right time.
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We get them in May/ June.
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I have a particular favourite. Black dwarves, lesbian humpbacks and necrophiliac society. A deeply deserving and much misunderstood minority. I'll make sure they each thank you in person by calling on you. God bless.
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Another mate, taken in the olden days. We caught these ses trout between us. Fished all night and then went to work. Oh to be young again. I got all the big uns of course. When we split the money. It was a week's wages apiece.
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Sounds like he deserves it.
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That's a weird one. Had he a grudge?
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A friend , a wind up merchant, just sent me this photo from God knows how many years back. You can see by the style of car it was way back. He asked me if I remembered the day of the photo? I said I didn't but I do. That day haunts me. It was one of those crazy days when fish were all over the place. Everybody caught at least two fish. Many were over 20 lbs. The big one in the photo was 24 lb. I got a big fat zilch. Everybody left the river and went home, but I soldiered on. Nowt. The cat was booted into space when I got home. On the other hand in 2012
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I get them all the time. I cut them short by saying" I'm a vulnerable pensioner, let's cut the crap I'll just give my bank details now shall I?" Had a bloke call me one day in a heavy Asian accent telling me to check my computer. I told him to f**k off and he damn near cried laughing . It was my son. I have a mate who was really ill at one point. He got a call from an Asian bloke. He gave him short shrift and told him to f**k off. Asian rang again. "Hello, this is your GP." It was. Embarrassment wasn't the word.